6 Signs A Man Will Make An Excellent Husband, According To Psychology
Here's your future husband checklist.
jeffbergen | Canva As women, we come to a point where we want to stop messing around and learn how to find true love. This may also be the perfect time to set goals for your love life, stop hanging around guys using you (even if you're using them back!), and learn how to identify the kind of man you want to date. I like to call him "Mr. Boyfriend Material."
Like you, Mr. Boyfriend Material dates with dignity and is interested in finding someone confident, independent, and with the communication skills necessary. Your ability to understand what being "Boyfriend Material" means is vital because he won’t put up with emotional immaturity. He won’t let you “sulk” or manipulate him with your tears.
Here are 6 signs a man will make an excellent husband:
1. He can support himself and provide for you.
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When he feels " settled, " a guy is typically most confident, secure, and ready to be in an exclusive long-term relationship. Research from 2016 even shows that men want to provide for the women they're with.
He's built his career and has the time to invest in your relationship. He's financially secure.
Remember, men not in this place in life are still worth dating; they're not likely to be good candidates for a long-term partnership. If you're dating someone just starting to climb the ladder to emotional and financial security, you'll likely need to be extremely patient as he moves through these phases of manhood.
2. He does what he says he'll do — every single time.
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A man capable of a long-term relationship has integrity, and as a result, his words and actions match. He calls when he says he will call.
He follows through on his promises. A study from Eastern Illinois University claims that trust is an essential part of a relationship.
This is one of the most crucial signs a man is boyfriend material. If his words and actions match consistently, it's clear he's ready to play in the big leagues.
3. He's done playing stupid games.
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He doesn’t apply the “Three-Day Rule” to the women he dates, wait twenty-four hours before returning your phone call, or “vanish” to draw you into his world. When he's interested in pursuing you, he'll do it.
Conversely, if you play games with Mr. Boyfriend Material, he'll politely decline the opportunity to get to know you and probably dismiss you as immature. Be gracious, kind, and authentic because Mr. Boyfriend Material is attracted to a confident woman who is past playing games like him. Research from the Gottman Institute states that being authentic allows for a deeper connection in a relationship.
4. He knows how to express his feelings directly.
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Mr. Boyfriend Material will not manipulate you with silence, criticize, or judge you. When he has a need or feels like he must discuss something pertaining to your relationship, he doesn't hesitate to bring it up. Research from 2021 states that good communication in a relationship can help both partners feel better about the relationship.
He's also honest in telling you when he needs to spend time with his friends, needs to work, or wants to go to the gym (by himself). He expects you to respect his needs and not see his independence as a rejection.
5. He's single.
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This one may seem like a no-brainer, but it’s worth mentioning that a man worth your time is NOT already in a relationship or going through a divorce. Being single makes him emotionally available to pursue a relationship with you.
He doesn't need to hide you until the divorce is final, “call you later” under the guise of running an errand, or meet you in a hotel, his art studio, or at your place because he hasn’t yet moved out of the home he shares with his partner.
6. He does not expect any kind of physical intimacy sooner than you are ready.
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While Mr. Boyfriend Material finds you incredibly attractive, he doesn't expect you to kiss him at the end of the first or second date. He doesn't expect you to be intimate with him until you both know each other and are determined to advance your relationship to the next level. Research from the Institute for Family Studies found that couples who waited to be intimate went on to have happier marriages.
What’s more, if he does prefer physical intimacy early on (say, after the third date, for instance), he won’t mind if you refuse. He'll most likely apologize, respect you immensely, and be impressed by your self-respect, dating dignity, and confidence — all turn-ons.
In short, Mr. Boyfriend Material is confident, mature, unafraid of vulnerability, and comfortable with commitment.
Intimacy is not his primary motive, and he certainly doesn't expect you to sleep with him until you're ready — whether in three months, six months, or maybe even waiting until you're married.
Mr. Boyfriend Material seeks an interdependent relationship with a confident woman who wants the same. He may not be someone you encounter often, but when you do, knowing about these qualities will help you recognize him.
If you don’t settle for anything less than Mr. Boyfriend Material, you have the potential for a great relationship that can fulfill you, bring you happiness, and meet your needs.
Marni Battista is a Los Angeles-based certified life coach, the founder of Dating with Dignity and The Institute for Living Courageously, and the author of dating advice for women.