5 Signs He's Really Into You From The Start, According To Psychology
Telltale signs to ease your mind after the first few dates.
Dean Drobot | Canva In Sandy’s initial emails, it appeared she had dating all figured out. Later, she admitted that after talking to Jim for three weeks via texting, emailing, and a few phone conversations, there was finally some chemistry between her and a guy.
It had been months since someone of this caliber had come along, and she did not want to blow it. She asked the question single women ask each month, "How do I know if he is as into me as I am him," especially on the first date? This question is often considered the “Rubik’s Cube” of dating. There are no concrete answers, but psychology offers a few telltale signs that might ease your first-date anxieties.
Here are 5 signs he's really into you from the start, according to psychology:
1. He shows anticipation for your date
If there is mutual anticipation surrounding the first date, this is a great sign he is interested and primed! If he says something like, “I have been wanting to see you since we first spoke,” it can be a clear sign he wants more.
Research from the American Psychological Association (APA) on relationship initiation and development demonstrates his unsolicited excitement shows this is not a one-sided interest. Conversely, if you receive a lukewarm reception after talking to this person for weeks via emailing, instant messaging, and texting, his level of interest may not be the same as yours.
It can be common for guys to play it cool and not act overly excited, so don’t judge everything by this sign.
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2. He knows it’s late but doesn’t want you to go
Once on your date, if the date moves along with relative ease, this is a good sign he is interested in you, as supported by research conducted by Harvard Medical School. If, during the night’s conversation, he says, “ I know it’s getting late, but I don’t want you to go,” he is saying he wants to see more of you soon.
If the feeling is mutual, schedule another date. It’s OK. Now is not the time to play hard to get. If you wait or refuse to acknowledge his statement, he may not bring it up again, and the chance to connect will have been lost.
3. He is curious about your preferences
If he asks questions about you to get to know what your likes and dislikes are, this is also an indicator he is interested. A study from the National Library of Medicine on motivations and preferences in romantic relationships helps explain how he is gathering facts and information to help him be successful in future encounters with you.
If he asks, “So, what type of music or movies do you like?” he is setting the stage to extend the current date or set up another date. Answer these questions honestly. If you answer these questions based on what you think he may like, you could find yourself listening to music or sitting through a movie that may not be appealing to you at all.
4. He wants you to stay a little bit longer
How your date ends can also be a sign he is interested. If neither of you wants to bring the date to a close, chances are he is interested in seeing you again. If he utters, “Are you sure you have to go?” this is your cue he is seeking to extend the evening.
If possible, stay a little while longer. This will let him know you do not want the night to end. It’s a subtle boost to his ego, and men love that, as explored in a study from the University of Northern Colorado of self-esteem and relationship perception. If at any time during the evening, you feel rushed, he is nonverbally saying he is not very interested and wants the date to end.
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5. He contacts you the next day
This last sign can be the clincher that he is interested in you. This is what I call the “Follow-Up.” If he contacts you the next day and reiterates how much he enjoyed the date, you are in.
If you get a call and he says, “ I have been thinking about you constantly since we said goodnight,” it’s on like Donkey Kong. Congratulations! You have not only survived the first date, but you want more, and so does he. These signs aren’t foolproof but indicate he is interested in wonderful you.
Lori Pinkerton is a dating and relationship expert., who never dreamed of helping women find lasting love until she learned how to identify hidden roadblocks and perpetual limitations to help other women overcome the same challenges.