11 Signs Your Body Is Rejecting Your Partner, According To Psychology
Don't ignore the signs. They could indicate something very wrong in your relationship.
Just Life | Shutterstock In a relationship, you expect to have your partner at the forefront of your mind and yearn for the moment you see them again. However, when some people think about their partner, they are overcome with feeling of dreads or even physical illness at the thought of having to be around them. It's one of the many signs your body is rejecting your partner, according to psychology, which brings with it feelings of unease that are unexplainable.
These feelings, could be the result of various factors, including unresolved trauma, lack of trust, unmet needs, or an inkling that your partner may not be the ideal person for you. It's important to recognize these signs and not ignore them if they occur frequently while you are with or thinking about your partner. Your body is feeling this way for good reason.
Here are 11 signs your body is rejecting your partner, according to psychology
1. You feel physically repelled or uncomfortable around them
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In healthy relationships, a person often finds their partner attractive and can be at ease around them. However, if you feel repulsed by the sight of them and cannot seem to get comfortable with them, it's likely one of the signs your body is rejecting your partner, according to psychology.
They may have unhygienic habits that disgust you. They may be overly clingy and controlling. Wherever the feelings of discomfort and physical repulsion stem from, the cause always lies within something your partner is doing that gives you "the ick."
"Strong reactions of repulsion — ick — may indicate that a part of us feels emotionally jolted by what just happened. This revulsion could be a serious red flag signaling danger within this relationship, or it could be an ongoing strong sensitivity that can be attended to without jeopardizing the relationship," Brendon Comer, a licensed clinical social worker, revealed.
It is up to you and your partner if the underlying issue of your feelings is worth resolving, or if it is best to part ways.
2. Your desire for intimacy has plummeted
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When you are in love with your partner, you are also physically attracted to them and look forward to being intimate with them. But when your body is rejecting your partner, you may do anything and everything to avoid being intimate with them.
In some instances, this may be due to your own personal issues, such as lack of self-esteem, sleep deprivation, or a history of abuse that may deter you from being intimate with your current partner. However, in other instances, your body itself simply feels disconnected from your partner, urging you to reject their advances.
From a psychological perspective, according to Mayo Clinic, this can be blamed on specific issues within the relationship such as unresolved conflicts, trust issues, and poor communication of certain needs and desires. When your body is rejecting your partner, the last thing you want to do is give them a more physically vulnerable side of yourself.
3. You feeling anxious or tense when they're around
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These feelings are not as simple as jitters. Leading up to the moment you see your partner, you may feel anxious and uneasy, and the feeling doesn't get any better once you're around them.
When your body is rejecting your partner, you may feel constantly on edge when you're with them, when you see their name pop up on your phone, or even when you are just thinking about them. Any moment you spend thinking of them makes you nervous.
Your partner may demonstrate a variety of behaviors that make you feel especially anxious. They may embarrass you in front of others. They may raise their voice when they're angry. They may completely steamroll over every boundary you've made clear. This can trigger a heightened sense of anxiety every time you interact with them.
4. You experience illnesses more frequently
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One of the signs your body is rejecting your partner, according to psychology, is having physical reactions other than repulsion. You may find yourself catching illnesses and infections more frequently, or like your body isn't 100% well.
Many of us fail to realize that our emotional health is connected to our physical health. When we are feeling particularly stressed and anxious, the body can release the stress hormone known as cortisol, which can cause inflammation. Chronic stress can also impair our immune systems, making us more susceptible to illness.
According to behavioral health therapist Joy Giorgio, "When you experience stress in a relationship various systems within the body are activated to tell your body how to react to that stress. Research has shown that chronic flooding of these systems can lead to decreased immune function and increased risk for infections, autoimmune diseases, coronary artery diseases, some cancers, and slower healing wounds."
She continued, "In contrast, [other] research has shown high-quality, healthy relationships are consistently linked to improved health and reduced mortality. The effects of relationship quality on physical health are like that of smoking and can have even greater effects on overall health than one's BMI or exercise."
5. You're unable to relax in their presence
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Even if your partner can be wonderful to you sometimes, your body may try to warn you that, deep down, they are not the type of person you want to be with.
Most people in healthy and happy relationships describe their partner as their "safe place," and someone they instantly feel comfortable around. However, if you're in a relationship where your body is rejecting your partner, you will be unable to allow yourself to relax around them.
You're often anticipating what they will do to trigger an emotional response from you, and one that will mostly involve fear, anxiety and sadness. Maybe they're constantly bringing up moving in together after you've made it clear that you're not ready. Maybe they get easily angry at minor things. Maybe they scold you for wanting or not wanting children in the future.
Whatever it may be, their behavior is enough to make you constantly feel like you're walking on eggshells.
6. You have a persistent gut feeling that something is wrong
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Our intuition, or "gut feeling," is rooted into our subconsciousness, and can act as a protective mechanism, alerting us of potential threats. If you often feel uneasy around your partner, your gut instinct may be trying to alert you that they are not the one for you.
Even if they have not done anything to make you question the relationship yet, our intuition may be able to predict that outcome for us.
To test the accuracy of gut feelings, Erik Dane, Professor of Management at Rice University, conducted an experiment where he asked a group of students to view a series of designer handbags, which was published in Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes.
Half the participants were asked to ignore their gut instincts and use analysis, and list all the features they would look for to determine whether the handbag was real or fake. The rest were told to go with their intuition. While the participants who were asked to ignore their instincts gave similar answers to each other, those who were asked to use their intuition were about 20% more accurate than those using analysis alone.
Although your gut feeling may not always be accurate, it is a great indicator that something is off in your relationship, especially if the feeling is constantly nagging you.
7. You make excuses to avoid spending time together
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People in healthy relationships will find a way to spend more time with their partner, no matter how hectic their schedule may be. On the flip side, others will find any reason to get out of having to spend time with their partner.
If you find yourself ignoring your partner's calls and putting off getting together, blaming it all on preoccupations, your body may be rejecting them. Romantic partners should want to spend most of their free time with each other, waiting for the moment they will see them next once they part ways.
Even if they may be busy, they often get creative and find ways to include their partners. However, you may completely book yourself up with work, school, or making plans with other people just to avoid having to see yours.
8. You've lost your appetite or are over-eating
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If you are in a relationship where your body is trying to tell you something, it will infiltrate every other aspect of your life, including your eating habits. When you have no appetite or find yourself over-eating, it is one of the major signs your body is rejecting your partner, according to psychology.
When something is particularly bothering us, we may experience a loss of appetite due to stress or we may eat even more than we usually do as a coping mechanism. According to physician Kristen Fuller, "Relationships play a major part in both the development of eating disorders as they do in eating disorder recovery."
"Toxic relationships can lead to low self-esteem, abuse, trauma and poor interpersonal conflicts, which can lead an individual to develop an eating disorder as an unhealthy way to cope with these negative relationships," she added.
If the thought of eating food is something that disgusts you or something you can't get enough of, you may have to take a closer look at your relationship.
9. You have difficulty falling asleep or don't feel well-rested
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When you're dealing with a partner who continuously stresses you out or makes you upset, it can directly impact your sleep schedule.
While research, like one study from Frontiers in Psychiatry, shows that people who are in healthy and loving relationships actually have a better sleep quality while sharing a sleeping space with their partners, if your body is rejecting your partner, you may not even be able to close your eyes.
The stress and anxiety of an unhealthy relationship can make it difficult for you to abide by a typical sleep schedule. Even when you do sleep, you may not feel fully rested knowing that as soon as you open your eyes, it means another day of having to interact with your partner.
10. You're experiencing skin issues such as breakouts and rashes
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According to the American Academy of Dermatology Association, high levels of stress are linked to skin issues, such as acne and rashes.
As board-certified dermatologist Keira Barr MD, FAAD revealed, "Our brain and skin are intimately linked, and they communicate with each other. This means that when we experience chronic stress from work, relationships or current events, the skin is both a target and a source of stress hormones, which can make the skin more vulnerable to itch, inflammation, irritation, and infection."
When you're in a particularly stressful relationship where your body is rejecting your partner, you may notice some breakouts and rashes on your skin that never came up before.
Stress can release the trigger of cortisol, which stimulates the sebaceous glands to produce more oil (sebum), which can lead to clogged pores and acne breakouts. Stress can also increase inflammation throughout the body, which can result in rashes.
11. You have a constant feeling of doom
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In an unhealthy relationship with a lack of stability, the future can feel unpredictable and uncertain. If you are in this type of relationship, you may feel as if you are doomed with no end in sight. Instead of being optimistic about the future of your relationship, you may have a lot of anxiety about what lies ahead, constantly anticipating something bad happening.
When your body is rejecting your partner, you may be trapped in this endless cycle of negative thoughts, feeling as if there is a looming sense of doom in your life. But it won't be until you determine if this relationship is right for you that these feelings begin to subside.
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.