Should We Give Our Husbands Permission To Have Sex With Other Women?
Hear me out...
Aloha Hawaii / Shutterstock Once, I thought my husband was cheating because he was being really nice and doing the dishes. And that's when I decided that if he was cheating, it was totally worth it.
Maybe every relationship needs a little guilt to remind you both to be nice to one another. But if that were the case, Tiger Woods would be the best husband ever ... but I think his ex-wife Elin and a nine iron would disagree with that.
So are open relationships really the way of the future?
According to Holly Hill, mistress and author of Sugarbabe, wives should give their husbands permission to have sex with other women, saying that "If you love someone, you try to make them happy."
Not passing judgment here, but not sure if married women should really take advice from mistresses. You have the ring and they don't, but more importantly, why would you want to be with a man who is cheating? And what is appealing about a married man?
Anyway, there's a huge difference between having an open relationship (in which one or both partners can have sex with other people) and cheating.
An open relationship involves the mutual decision for both partners to sleep with other people, while cheating, obviously, is a straight-up betrayal. It's unfair to one partner. If only one person gets the "okay" to cheat, what does the other do? Just sit at home and wait for them to come back just to hear all about it?
But it seems like even some experts agree that cheating is inevitable in relationships.
Dr. John Gray, a relationship expert, says that keeping your husband's eye from wandering involves this one thing: regular sex (three to four times per week). He says, "If you're not having regular sex, the chances of your partner straying dramatically go up."
Why? Well, because if your husband is having sex with you, he won't be looking for sexual fulfillment from anywhere else.
That just seems like a big cop-out and excuse for a husband to cheat on his wife. Life happens, and motherhood is exhausting. You shouldn't be having sex with your husband just to keep him interested, and he shouldn't want that either.
Really, if you don't believe in monogamy or not cheating, then you shouldn't be in a relationship, to begin with.
Instead, focus on yourself and being single, and then you can have sex with whomever you want. Seems like an easy concept, right?
Lyz Lenz's writing has appeared in the Huffington Post, The Washington Post, the Columbia Journalism Review, The New York Times, Pacific Standard, and others. She is a columnist for the Cedar Rapids Gazette.