7 Little Secrets Of Men Who Know Exactly How To Love Their Women
How to love a woman the right way.
Sanja Radin | Canva Men, do you feel like your woman isn't satisfied in your relationship? Do you think she might be having doubts about your love? Truthfully, she might be. But this doesn't mean your relationship has reached a dead end. Fortunately, there are several easy ways you can solve this emotional doubt. You can learn the right tools to be able to be more fully present with your woman. This way, you can give your partner what she needs, allowing her to feel seen so that she will open up again. There are seven basic aspects of a relationship that every woman needs to feel happy and satisfied. The men who learn from these needs, and take action, will have the most success in their relationships. All you have to do is take the time to read through this relationship advice for men. Let it all sink in. Understanding what you can do to help your partner be fully open with you will not only improve your relationship, but it will improve your entire life. Here are the seven things that all women want in a relationship.
Here are seven little secrets of men who know exactly how to love their women:
1. She wants to feel safe
There is a war being waged on women’s self-esteem, needs, and safety from a very young age. Because of the barrage of disempowering messages being sent to women regarding their bodies, women need to have a safe space where they feel that they can trust their partners. She wants to trust your strength. She wants you to feel like you can handle whatever she shows you. She wants to feel like you will not judge her if she asks for something risqué. She wants to know you won’t collapse in defeat if she tells you to do it “This way” instead. By creating a safe space for your woman to open up to you emotionally and intimately, you will be giving her a very powerful gift — you allow her to grow within your relationship and undo old emotional damage.
2. She wants to feel seen
Women want to feel seen. She wants to feel you hearing her and being aware of her emotional state. She doesn’t necessarily want you to be affected by her emotional state, but she does want you to be a witness to it. If she is sitting across the room from you and you aren’t picking up on the fact that she is suffering emotionally and on the verge of tears, she will begin to trust you less. She will think, “If he can’t see that I am hurting now, how long will it take him to figure it out? Will I be suffering for days or weeks before he is aware of it or cares enough to help me through this? I guess I have to rely on myself for my own emotional support.” Life can seem extremely lonely, even within a relationship. You have to constantly show your partner that at least one person will be witness to her and her journey through life. (Hint: that person is you.)
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3. She wants to feel loved
When women feel loved, they relax and open up to us. The arguments dissipate, the intimacy is abundant, and their nurturing feminine energy flows throughout our lives. Not feeling loved is the subtext of every argument that you and your partner have. If she is unhappy that you are going out with your friends, or she’s upset about her day at work, or she is only responding to you with brief snippets of sentences, then the cause is most likely her not feeling loved enough. Learn to see through her words, actions, and moods and see what the real root of it is.
4. She wants to be allowed to be nurturing
Just as masculine energy needs to protect, feminine energy has the desire to nurture. Women want to see the cracks in our armor. They want to see that we trust them enough to open up to them. They want to be able to help us through our sadness. An integrated, evolved man who has balanced masculine energy, as well as his sliver of feminine, would welcome his woman’s nurturing. If you are a guy reading this, have you ever held open a door for a woman because it’s the polite thing to do (but more just because she’s a person and it wasn’t even a gender-based act) and she chews your ear off for it? “Oh, what? I can’t open the door for myself because I’m a woman?! You pig!”
That is an example of a wounded, unbalanced woman who doesn’t want to accept help from a masculine source. This is exactly how it feels to your partner when you push her away when you feel the most vulnerable. “I don’t need to lay my head down on your chest and tell you about my feelings because I don’t have any!” That is a lie. It’s a lie that serves your purpose of not letting your partner in. This lack of vulnerability and authenticity is what is making you and your partner suffer. So let her in. She wants to love you.
5. She wants to feel desired
What’s the major difference between your relationship to your partner and your relationship to everyone else in your life? You are intimate with your partner. Women need to feel desired. They want to make sure that you see and appreciate them as feminine, intimate beings. Praise her body. Feel her and grab her appreciatively. Remind her that you see her as an intimate being and you will both benefit.
6. She wants to feel appreciated
The feminine in all people responds primarily to praise and appreciation. Remind your partner that you love her. Tell her that you appreciate what she brings to your life. Show her how much she means to you. The fastest way to run your relationship into the ground is by ignoring your partner and taking her for granted. Appreciation is the opposite of those things. Appreciation is embodying this mindset: “I am aware of what you bring to my life, and I want you to be sure that I am aware of it as well.” So tell her what you appreciate, and tell her often.
7. She wants to feel like she can count on you
Life gets pretty messy sometimes. When life’s unavoidable difficulties arise, do you fall apart under pressure or are you able to bend and not break? Women want to know that we can handle ourselves when life happens. They want to know that we won’t run and hide when they get a bit ‘too emotional’ for our liking. They want to know that they can count on us. When you tell your partner you’ll do something, and then you don’t do it, it hurts her. She loses a piece of trust in you that has to be earned back. Even seemingly small things break that trust like you saying that you will wash the dishes shortly after dinner, but washing them the next morning instead.
When enough small transgressions like this are sprinkled throughout your relationship, she will distrust you. Do what you say you will do, be who you say you are, and be consistent in your actions. What do women need in a relationship? Women want partners who care. Women don’t want perfect partners; they want men who are striving to be their best selves. She doesn’t necessarily want someone who has every step of his life pre-planned, but she wants someone with drive and goals. She doesn’t necessarily want someone who cries every day, but she does want someone who dares to cry in front of her when he needs to. She doesn’t necessarily want someone who stays in therapy for his entire life, but she does want someone who dares to face his emotional demons.
So put in the work. End the stalemate. Decide that you want to be in the kind of relationship that most people don’t have and you want to put in the effort necessary to become that kind of man. The women of the world are waiting for us. And they want us to step up just as badly as we want them to open up.
Jordan Gray is a five-time Amazon best-selling author, public speaker, and relationship coach with more than a decade of practice. His work has been featured in The New York Times, BBC, Forbes, The Huffington Post, Women's Health, and The Good Men Project, among countless others.