4 Secrets To Finding Lasting Love, According To A Celebrity Dating Coach
How you're dating wrong, and how to fix it.
Davide Zanin Photography / Shutterstock Finding lasting love with a life partner is probably the most important quest you'll ever go on in life.
It's even more important than your career, where you live, or even what you give back to the world — because the person you partner up with matters.
In fact, celebrity dating coach Bela Gandhi thinks this one person will determine 90 percent of your happiness or 90 percent of your misery. And Bela knows a thing or two about finding love.
Her company, Smart Dating Academy, helps people find their life partner every day, including celebrities you know well!
Finding a life partner is important to everyone's happiness — even celebrities.
But finding love that lasts — the kind that leads to happiness — can seem daunting. After all, 31 percent of American adults are single right now! And 41 percent of first marriages end in divorce.
The fact is, what we think should be natural isn’t. And no one is really teaching us how to find that happiness.
Think about what putting people in happy, healthy relationships would do to our world, to our workforce, and even to the healthcare system.
Real love is a game-changer for everyone.
If you’re struggling to find lasting love, Bela believes it’s not the process that’s off — it’s your "picker" that needs help. Her advice will put you on the right track to the best kind of love — the kind that lasts.
Here are 4 secrets to finding lasting love, according to a celebrity dating coach:
1. Practice makes perfect
More often than not, what you learn about relationships is by watching your parents navigate their own. And with half the country’s marriages ending in divorce, there’s a good chance that’s not always the right place to look.
It’s time to rethink relationships. They aren’t easy, even when they feel right. Just like other things in life, like learning to cook or how to ride a bike, love that lasts is a skill you need to practice to get right.
In Bela’s program, they teach clients to look for potential partners with high GPQ: "Good Partner Qualities." These are based on your own individual qualities.
Once you tune into these qualities, you’ll discover that the key to your happiness may not be what you thought you wanted.
Who have you been looking for? Are they different than who should you be looking for?
Practice the skill of dating with your GPQ list in mind and, eventually, practice will make perfect.
2. Get creative
Does the idea of putting yourself out there, of committing to finding love that lasts seem intimidating? Don’t worry, you’re not alone.
Bela suggests getting creative when it comes to dating. Join groups with common interests or try new things on your own. You never know who you’ll wind up meeting!
When you do snag a date, think outside the "dinner and a movie" box to outside adventures, new experiences, and local culture.
What’s more, when you’re first getting to know someone, try activities that put you side by side, such as a walk or a trip to a museum.
It can be easier to converse than face to face, allowing you to get to know one other better.
3. Get online
Bela is emphatic that online dating has never been more popular. In fact, 95 percent of her clients find love online. Yes, even her celebrity clients are meeting people this way!
However online dating often carries a stigma with it.
Chances are you’ve heard at least one of the following statements:
"There are no good people online, only the ones no one else wants."
"Dating online is like a scarlet letter, no one will want me."
"If I have to go online to find love, something must be wrong with me."
It’s time to turn your mindset around and get online!
For one, be grateful for the opportunity to meet more people than ever before. Flashback to 1985: Who would you meet if you were 41 and divorced?
These sites and apps have revolutionized the dating world and in many cases for the better!
4. Ask for help
Are you willing to take steps to find love that lasts? If so, don’t be embarrassed to ask for help.
Dating programs like Bela’s can help you hone in on who you are and what it is you want in life. They’re designed to help you discover the type of person you’re meant to find and avoid wasting time on bad matches.
Don’t let past disappointments keep you from finding love that lasts. You’re worth it!
Hilary DeCesare is the Founder and CEO of The ReLaunch Co. She’s appeared on ABC’s The Secret Millionaire and on major news outlets such as CBS, ABC, Fox, Huffington Post, and Yahoo.