3 Reasons Single People Invest In A Matchmaker (And 8 Reasons They Don't)
It depends on how much money you have, and how much you want love.
Rido | Canva Serious daters know they’re going to have to do some work to find Mr./Ms. Right, and they’re willing to ask for help to make sure their search is effective.
That means friends and family, online dating, group activities, hiring a dating coach, and even investing in high-end matchmaking services.
But, some of those strategies can get costly — both in terms of money and in terms of time. We're talking over $10,000!
So, before you invest, do your homework. After all, your end goal may be worthy, but you want an effective plan with expert guidance to get you there.
For instance, should you invest in high-end matchmaking services? How do you know what you’re getting if anything? And what makes "high-end" so "high-end"?
Here are 3 reasons single people invest in a matchmaker:
1. Professional matchmaking services save you time.
You don’t have to scroll through all those online profiles and filter out the messages from members who would never be a match for you.
Pexels / cottonbro studio
If you're sick of online dating but are scared if you quit, you won't find someone, don't be alarmed. Research tells us that the majority of people meet their partners in real life, the most popular one being a bar.
The matchmaker pre-screens and selects clients and potential matches. You just have to trust and be willing to say "yes" when they fix you up.
2. The clients are high-quality.
Most of the paying clients on the best matchmaking services are extremely successful and financially well-off. They can afford to have someone screen out the "non-matches."
They tend to be well-educated, cultured, and physically very attractive. And most of them are people you most likely wouldn’t find on dating apps or sites.
3. Sometimes, you can get in for free.
High-end matchmaking services know that, just because their paying clients are wealthy, not everyone is. That means a lot of potential matches could be out of luck.
For this reason, a matchmaker may allow you to be included in the service’s database for a low fee or at no charge.
You’ll have to be a good candidate with a stellar profile to keep on file. You may or may not be called and offered a date with a paying client.
Here are 8 reasons why high-end matchmaking might not be for you:
1. The costs can be off-the-charts.
How much is a millionaire matchmaker? According to statistics, most of them charge between $8,000 and $1,000,000. They offer a variety of packages that guarantee a certain number of dates in a certain amount of time.
And some will offer international services for a higher fee. And your "wish list" will affect the cost, too.
When you consider the cost per date offered, you’ll really need to think about your investment and what it guarantees… or doesn’t.
2. Most require a contract.
You may have to sign a one to two-year contract just to work with a high-end matchmaker.
What if you meet the person with whom you want to be exclusive after only six months? Can you pause your contract?
3. Most have stringent physical requirements.
They may not say it out loud, but high-end matchmakers like to fill their databases with "beautiful," even "famous" people.
Remember, their job is to fulfill their client’s wishes. And their paying clients can afford to have what they want.
I even knew of an instance where one of the high-end matchmakers required a woman to get plastic surgery and lose 50 pounds before she would take this woman on as a client.
4. You will pay extra for everything.
Want a mixer event with a guaranteed number of candidates to meet? It could cost you $30,000 to $40,000. One mixer. One night. No guarantee of "forever."
Want your matchmaker to offer you coaching services? That will cost extra, too.
5. The interview will cost you
Even if you are accepted into the database at no charge, the preliminary interview will probably cost you. And that detailed conversation could cost upwards of $500.
6. You don’t get to search and initiate connections.
They call it matchmaking for a reason. And, while it can be convenient to have someone else doing all the screening work, you might actually want to have more involvement.
Sometimes, you just want to know who’s in the database and how the matchmaker is making their decisions. Sometimes, you don’t even get to see a photo of the prospect!
And you're fortunate to get more than one match per month. I've known clients to have to follow up frequently and ask when they'll get a match.
7. You will still have to do the upfront work.
Everything my clients and I do together during our coaching relationship is work I recommend you do before hiring a matchmaker.
You'll have to know who you are and what you want from your life and your partner. And your profile will need to reflect your confidence and aptitude in relationships.
If you want to be in a high-end matchmaking database without paying, be prepared to present yourself as a desirable candidate.
8. Love isn’t guaranteed.
Even some high-end matchmaking services send candidates to clients just to fill a required quota. Someone who's paying that much money expects (and deserves) regular, quality introductions.
But not every introduction is really a good fit — and sometimes the matchmaker knows that. However, they are required to make so many matches per month so they may superficially set you up with a questionable prospect in your age range.
Even in the best circumstances, the probability of lasting love still comes down to the two people being introduced and developing a connection.
How are you supposed to know if matchmaking services are worth your trust, time, and money?
As a dating coach, I work with clients from start to finish and I care about everything in between. I’m not a personal matchmaker but I get to know my clients thoroughly so I can direct them to the best sources for potential matches.
A matchmaker, on the other hand, is a "pairing professional." They find high-potential matches for (usually) paying clients. The emphasis is on what the client is looking (and paying) for.
The matchmaker may have candidates on file or may have to go searching for them outside their internal database.
High-end matchmaking services grabbed a lot of attention with T.V. shows like Millionaire Matchmaker with Patti Stanger, who matches wealthy clients with (supposedly) compatible dates.
Whether or not you decide to invest in high-end matchmaking services, do your homework upfront.
Know what you want and what you have to offer to a relationship. And be honest about why you would consider investing in a very expensive, exclusive service.
In the long run, your success in dating will always come down to your self-awareness, self-confidence, communication skills, decision-making skills, and enthusiasm. Those are all extremely attractive qualities.
Since my clients meet their true love through a variety of means, you most likely don’t need to spend $ 1 million to have a one-in-a-million relationship.
Amy Schoen is a D.C.-based national expert in dating and relationship coaching who's helped countless couples find love.