8 Reasons The Person You Love Is Suddenly Acting Guarded Around You
Don't walk away just yet.
Leojuli / Shutterstock Putting up a wall is a common response to the troubles that present themselves in life. When you guard your heart, you’re safe from getting hurt. But, staying guarded is not something anyone wants to do.
Becoming vulnerable with someone else is a very scary thing, but it's key to successful relationships. Becoming vulnerable means someone else can see all of you — the real, true you. Usually revealing who you truly are can feel really uncomfortable. But, with the right person, it can feel like you’re letting a weight off your shoulder.
Letting down your guard for someone who accepts you can make anyone happy. Being able to be emotional or afraid without being judged is what we all want. Being supported during times of stress is what we need. Dealing with stress all on our own can lead to even more stress.
We need someone to help us through the unexpected turns that life decides to throw at us. Making lemonade out of the lemons thrown at us with someone who loves us is always more fun. Facing scary situations with people who know the true us can make everything less frightening.
If you're wondering why the person you love has their guard up, this is your answer — just remember this doesn't mean you should give up fighting for the relationship you feel is right.
1. Fear that you will see the real person behind the brave face.
The real person behind the sweet smile. You will see the real person. Not the character they play so effortlessly.
2. Fear that you will be the one person to break down the walls they built around their heart.
You will expose their deepest insecurities. You will make them face the reality that they are not perfect.
3. Fear of rejection.
4. Fear of happiness with you.
They will question how long this happiness will last. The past has shown them that happiness cannot last forever.
5. Fear of being vulnerable with you.
So instead they act closed off. They never reveal too much out of fear that you will judge.
6. Fear you will see their imperfections.
You will see the flaws because you have the power to bring them to light.
7. Fear of heartbreak.
They know that one day you will hurt them. Just like they were hurt so badly in the past.
8. A fear of falling in love with you.
Being in love brings commitment and partnership. The person used to being alone fears sharing their life with someone.
So they keep their guard up and refuse to let you in. They will not get emotionally attached.
Life has taught me a hard lesson. Life has shown that people will eventually let you down. So instead of getting hopes up with you, they act distant. They know that in time you will give up and move on.
But deep inside their heart of hearts, the guarded person knows that it is fear that is driving them through life. They want you to reveal the real person. To break down the walls and say how you feel. They want you to teach vulnerability, and most of all they want to fall in love.
So don’t walk away just yet.
Michelle Marshall is a contributor to Yourtango who writes about love and relationships. Check out her website and follow her on Twitter.