6 Bold Reality Checks People Face Before They Finally Accept It's Time To Break Up
No matter how bad it is, it takes six big things to make people realize it's over.
Gabriela Pereira | Canva Even if your heart and mind are saying your relationship is going nowhere and it's time to walk away, it can be hard to break up with someone. Often, it takes a bold reality check before you accept it's time to break up.
Once you are ready, you can stop wasting time in an unsatisfying relationship. But first, you have to come terms with some realities so you can finally move forward.
Six reality checks people face that help them realize it's time to break up
1. You just want different things
Just because they don't want commitment or marriage doesn't make your current partner bad. Shift your attention and reflect inward on how you can improve your prospects of finding a person aligned with your relationship goals.
2. There will never be an ideal time to leave
Saying goodbye will never be easy. If your goals aren't aligned, the time to leave is now. Walking away sooner rather than later will help ease your pain and preserve your self-esteem, as explored by a study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. If they try to convince you to come back, remind yourself that they haven't been capable of giving you what you want.
3. Time waits for no one
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The more time you spend with someone who doesn't want the type of relationship you seek, the less time you're available for meeting a someone who shares your desire for commitment and marriage.
Dating coach Samantha Jayne recommended that if, "you can't see a future with him, if you can't even imagine this, then it's not going to happen. Your future is the very thing you're working toward. If you can't see him in your future, then drop him. Don't compromise the rest of your life and end up with someone who isn't good for you."
4. Staying together longer hurts both of you
When you send mixed signals — for instance, saying you want marriage, yet continuing to date someone who doesn't want commitment — you continue to attract more of the same hurt and frustration. Don't live your life in limbo. Doing so only takes you — and your partner — further away from what you each want.
5. There's probably someone better out there
Focus on and take action toward what you truly want in a relationship. Don't waste time with wishful thinking. Instead, determine the qualities you want in your ideal person and relationship. Imagine how that life and relationship will feel once you are in it. Then, use that vision as a guide that moves you forward.
6. The pain of breaking up is worth it in the end
It's time to do the inner work and prepare yourself for something bigger and better. When you feel discomfort in that process, remember the challenge helps you grow positively.
Seek support for the journey — the right resources, people, and situations. Remember to be kind and loving to yourself along the way.
Once you are further down the path away from your breakup and toward meeting someone suitable to your dreams, you will meet someone, and they'll want the same type of relationship you do.
Janet Ong Zimmerman is a dating and relationship coach and the founder of Love for Successful Women. She helps successful women find the love they desire.
