The Real (Brutal) Reason He'll Never Fall In Love With You
Why some men won't commit to you.
Getty Images | Unsplash Have you ever tried to understand why a man will fall hard for a certain woman, even though she might not seem like the best match for him? The truth is that a man is attracted to one woman and not another largely because of how one woman makes him feel, and not for any other reason. You see, attraction and connection have their logic. They defy logic. Let me explain.
So, why won't he fall in love? A man doesn’t decide to be with a woman because he values a relationship and true love. He doesn't choose to be with her because she’s so good to him and does so many loving things for him that he recognizes the logical value of staying with her and makes the "right" decision. Feelings and emotions have their logic, which has nothing to do with what makes "sense" or what is "fair." And the sooner you accept this as true about men, the easier everything in your love life and relationship will become.
So, how he decides to choose you is simple: emotional attraction. The emotional experiences that a man has when he's around a woman are the single most powerful reasons why he either wants a long-term relationship or doesn't. In other words, what a man feels as a result of the experiences he has with you is what can make him see you as a woman he needs to get closer to. So, what exactly makes a man develop this kind of "emotional attraction" for you? And by emotional attraction, I mean a feeling that goes beyond physical attraction — the kind of attraction that grows over the long term.
It is the allure of a woman in control ... of herself. A woman who can communicate to a man — on a deeper level — that she's aware and in control of her own experience and "emotional" state will make a man feel intense attraction for her on that same emotional level. She's an "emotionally attractive" woman, which can tell a man all kinds of things about her beyond the physical attraction and interest he might have. This woman doesn’t let her day-to-day feelings depend on what a man does or doesn’t do.
If plans change, she’s either content to go with the flow, or she’ll let him know the new plan isn’t right for her. Most of all, she’s able to communicate her feelings calmly, and she does so before issues fester. This sends a strong message: she’s in control of her happiness. When a man experiences that you’re not making him responsible for your happiness, it immediately takes an enormous amount of pressure off him. Suddenly, he can relax because he realizes you’re with him. After all, you want to be — not because you need to be. And that’s one of the most attractive qualities of all.
Christian Carter is a dating coach and author of the e-book Catch Him & Keep Him. He has helped more than three million women become more successful with men, dating, and relationships.