10 Rare Signs A Marriage Is Actually Going To Last, Even If It Doesn’t Look Perfect All The Time
Sometimes it’s the little things no one else notices that make a marriage work.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A / Shutterstock Relationships aren't perfect, and every couple faces challenges. That said, couples who have a solid foundation have a better chance of staying together than most. As life changes, couples who adapt together through growth, mutual understanding, and a commitment to self-improvement can build a relationship that lasts a lifetime, even if it doesn't always look perfect.
There are a few signs that can indicate that a marriage will have lasting power, though they may not be easy to spot at first.
Here are 10 rare signs a marriage is actually going to last, even if it doesn’t look perfect all the time
1. Mutual respect for individual growth
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Partners who support each other’s personal growth tend to have a stronger foundation. Whether it’s helping each other through their careers, hobbies, or struggles, being there for each other is what matters. A marriage where each person has room to evolve without fear of resentment is more likely to last.
Growth in a relationship can be measured by the degrees of success and setbacks in a relationship. A study showed that when one partner experienced individual growth like a promotion at their job the other partner was going through setbacks. The goal is to balance out the two.
Encouraging a partner’s personal and professional development helps to create a supportive relationship where both individuals can thrive.
2. Effective conflict resolution skills
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Rarely do couples avoid getting into conflicts with each other entirely, but a key indicator of a lasting marriage is the ability to resolve disagreements in a healthy and respectful way. Couples who last don’t need to ‘win’ every argument. Instead, they focus on understanding each other and make compromises to maintain a long-term bond.
Directness determines whether cooperative communication is beneficial in long lasting relationships. Researchers Nickola C. Overall and James K. McNulty found that reasoning and negotiation were far more effective than attempts at inducing guilt within your partner to solve conflicts.
When couples handle conflicts respectfully it can help them build trust. It shows that both partners can work through stressful situations together and rely on each other during difficult times.
3. A shared vision of the future
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When two people share a similar vision for the future it can create a powerful sense of alignment. These visions could be marriage, life goals, children, and values. This might not always be obvious, but couples who can see themselves growing old together tend to stay together.
It’s important for couples to communicate what they want in life even for trivial things. One idea is for couples to write down where they would like to see themselves in ten years. Where would they be? What would they be doing?
Knowing that both partners have a clear idea of where they’re headed provides stability and security in the relationship. It gives both individuals the confidence that they’re building something meaningful together.
4. Sense of humor and playfulness
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Couples who can laugh together, share jokes, or even be playful with one another often have a stronger connection. Even in the most difficult situations if one or both look at the bright side of things then surely any negativity will evaporate. Laughing together also reduces stress, making it easier to cope with the difficulties and setbacks.
Gil Greengross, Ph.D., noted that positive humor contributes to positive relationship satisfaction while aggressive humor like teasing has the opposite effect. Having a sense of humor can be beneficial as it is a stress reducer and less confrontational during personal conflicts.
A shared sense of humor can diffuse tension and remind both partners of their sacred bond. It can also increase their desire in one another.
5. Emotional and physical affection
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While physical affection might fade over time couples who nurture their emotional intimacy will make it to the end. Maintaining both are important but the emotional closeness and sharing feelings openly will fare better at making a marriage last. Consistently showing affection reinforces the emotional connection between them.
According to Douglas LaBier Ph.D., withholding affection can diminish the relationship and bond that you have with your partner. These affections could include holding hands or hugging. Not only did they lead to more satisfaction within the relationship the more you do them the longer the relationship will last.
Partners who express emotional affection tend to feel more satisfied in their relationship. Feeling loved, supported, and appreciated contributes to a positive and fulfilling partnership.
6. Mutual admiration
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Partners who genuinely admire each other are likely to stay committed. When you admire someone for who they are flaws and all you get a sense of awe and respect. Mutual admiration is the foundation of a thriving, lasting relationship built on love, trust, and appreciation. This goes beyond the superficial and strengthens the marriage over time.
Jennifer Jacobsen Schulz, LCSW stated that to admire someone means to respect that person. When you and your partner share core values and have a clear future that you want to build together then respect will just come naturally.
Admiration plays a key role in reinforcing commitment. When you admire your partner, you’re more likely to stay dedicated to the relationship and work through challenges together.
7. The ability to let go of minor grievances
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Couples in lasting marriages tend to move past minor grievances and small annoyances without holding grudges. In any marriage, differences are inevitable but in a marriage where both partners can forgive each other and keep the bigger picture in mind they tend to thrive better than those that don’t.
Shoba Sreenivasan, Ph.D., and Linda E. Weinberger, Ph.D. stated that holding grudges can be psychologically harmful to an individual's health. Letting go doesn’t mean you have to forgive them, it just means that you are giving yourself grace to move on.
Focusing on trivial matters can waste time and energy that could be better spent nurturing the relationship. Letting go of minor grievances allows couples to spend more time enjoying each other’s company.
8. Both partners feel safe and vulnerable
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True emotional safety in a marriage means both people can open up about their hopes and struggles without fear of judgment. Vulnerability fosters deep intimacy and trust, making it more likely the marriage will endure challenges. This emotional closeness is what makes a relationship more meaningful as both partners feel truly understood and accepted.
Physical safety is equally important, as feeling secure in your environment is essential for emotional well-being. When both physical and emotional safety are present, it fosters a sense of trust.
Being vulnerable comes with a fear of rejection. When couples create a safe space for each other, it reduces that fear. It reassures both partners that they will not be rejected or criticized for being open, which allows for more honest and meaningful communication between the two.
9. Gratitude and appreciation
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Couples who regularly express gratitude for each other feel valued in their relationship, strengthening the commitment between them. Gratitude creates a cycle of giving. When one partner expresses appreciation, the other often feels compelled to reciprocate, reinforcing the behavior.
A lack of gratitude can often lead to feelings of being taken for granted or unappreciated, which can build resentment over time. If one partner feels like their efforts or sacrifices are overlooked, it can lead to frustration and distance. This is why expressing gratitude and appreciation in a relationship is so important.
This mutual exchange of appreciation fosters a culture of kindness and generosity in the relationship, where both individuals feel motivated to continue showing love and support.
10. Willingness to seek help together
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Couples who face challenges but are open to seeking therapy, counseling, or finding support together often have a better chance at lasting. It shows a commitment to improving the relationship rather than giving up when times get tough.
Seeking help, whether through counseling or relationship workshops, provides tools to communicate more clearly and productively. Even some of the best couples could use counseling or therapy to help them out. Going through tough times together and seeking support can strengthen the bond between partners.
The process of seeking help and working through issues together creates a shared sense of growth and accomplishment. All of these things are needed for a marriage to last.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author who has over a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.