4 Rare Qualities That Make A Man Totally Intriguing To Women, According To Psychology
Intriguing men know having a good relationship starts with themselves.
skynesher | Canva Men want meaningful relationships, but some guys have rare qualities that make them incredibly intriguing to women. We are not talking about the serial dater here, these are the men who are ready to commit.
They are not looking to skim the surface. They are ready to drop anchor and enjoy a deep and mutually satisfying relationship. They are not using the fast approach. They put in the time and effort. They can appreciate a woman for her beauty, but they know love will never take root in the sandy soil of lust.
Here are the rare qualities that make a man intriguing to women:
1. They know who they are
If you haven’t figured out who you are, how do you expect her to? You don’t have to have all the answers. We are all a work in progress, but you should have some idea of who you are, where you are, and where you want to go even if the course changes over time. A study in PLoS One Journal found that "self-knowledge was positively correlated with perceptions of relationship quality."
2. They know what they need
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Since my separation and divorce, I found out a great deal about myself by reading, The 5 Languages of Love by Gary Chapman. I highly recommend reading the book. At least, check out the app to find out what your love language is.
Love may be the universal language, but it sure is misunderstood. Once you understand what you need, you can start to observe your intended behaviors to understand what love is to your partner. When your needs and hers are met, the relationship is healthy.
3. They ask the tough questions
I mean to communicate honestly. How many times have you received an email or a text and read between the lines, made an assumption, and were completely wrong? I have. So, take a chance on upsetting the apple cart and asking the tough questions when you have them but ask them with kindness.
Do you want to ignore it only to find out later, after you’ve invested so much time in a relationship? Make sure your values match. Not everybody fits. Research published in the Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin provided "evidence that personal values are important variables in romantic relationship functioning."
4. They are friends first
We’ve all heard it. Sounds like a great plan but few of us have put in enough effort in a relationship to warrant a withdrawal. I’ve been guilty of this myself. We’re too busy trying to run from the first date to the altar.
A series of studies in Social Psychological and Personality Science "affirmed that friends-first initiation is a prevalent and preferred method of romantic relationship initiation among university students."
Mutually beneficial relationships do not happen overnight. Take your time, it’s on your side. I’ve known a few women I was attracted to, but they weren't interested in a romantic relationship with me. Yet, through the process of open and honest communication, we remain good friends.
Know who you are, know how you want to be loved, communicate openly and honestly, and build a friendship first. There are no guarantees in life, but the regrets we have are not usually the things we did tried, but the things we did not.
Who knows? When it comes to love, she could be your perfect match.
Carey David is a branding expert, writer, and musician.
