6 Rare Qualities That Make A Man Truly Impressive To Women, According To Psychology
Psychology reveals six uncommon traits that quietly make a man stand out to women.
Vince Fleming | Unsplash When I was in my 20s and newly divorced, I used to think I had a type: dark hair and green eyes, olive skin, somewhat athletic without being a jock ... until I realized I was still attracted to my ex-husband. It took maturity to eventually notice that I was only focusing on superficial qualities.
After several failed relationships with men whom I thought were my type and a great deal of conscious work on my part, I finally recognized that the way a man treats me and others is far more important than his appearance or social status.
With increasing awareness, I also realized the way I treat a man —or any person — is also of greater significance than my appearance or accomplishments. I had to 'be the change I wanted to see in the world' — a lesson from Mahatma Gandhi.
In this case, I had to be a better woman to attract a better man. I had to demonstrate self-respect and respect for those around me before I could attract a man who respected himself and would respect me. Coupled with mutual physical attraction, respect is one of the most attractive displays of masculinity you can show her.
Here are the rare qualities that make a man truly impressive to women:
1. Self-respect
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Take care of your health and appearance in an authentic manner. When getting better acquainted with her, don’t do something in the dating stage that you won’t want to continue to do once you win her.
If you don’t like to wear cologne, don’t do it while dating; when you stop wearing it later she’ll miss it and think you no longer want to make the effort for her. Self-respect and authenticity will also help you two to identify compatibility or lack thereof before either of you gets emotionally invested.
2. Attentiveness
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When communicating in person, forget multitasking for a few minutes! Mute the television, flip your phone face down on the table, or lower the screen of your laptop. Listen to her words in the context of the conversation or situation. If something she says doesn’t make sense to you, ask for clarification in a neutral tone of voice without making assumptions.
Making eye contact and listening attentively, particularly for men in romantic relationships, can significantly improve communication, trust, and emotional connection. A 2020 study concluded that eye contact can signal attentiveness and willingness to connect, fostering a sense of vulnerability and openness. On the other hand, active listening enhances understanding and empathy, leading to stronger relational bonds.
3. Dependability
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Women appreciate dependability. If you say you will be somewhere to pick her up, meet her, or do something for her, be on time. If you must cancel or change the timing, give her as much advance notice as possible.
Research suggests women are attracted to dependable men because they signal a willingness to invest in the relationship and provide long-term support. Dependability can be perceived as a commitment, protection, and caregiving, which aligns with women's desire for secure and stable long-term relationships.
4. Tact
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While most people prefer honesty to lies, tact goes a long way in softening an ugly truth. Caution: If she is one who would ask you, “Baby, does this dress make me look fat,” come to an agreement in advance.
Ask her to select two or three dresses or outfits that she likes and you can tell her which one you like best on her. If it is true, you can also tell her that you find her beautiful no matter what she wears. However, if you think the dress looks bad on her, let her know that it doesn’t flatter her natural beauty and suggest something else you’ve seen look great on her.
Even when it's difficult, it can significantly benefit both partners and the relationship as a whole. Studies show that honest expression increases trust, deeper intimacy, and a stronger sense of connection, even if the truth may be challenging to hear. While tactfulness isn't always about avoiding conflict, it does involve considering the impact of one's words and choosing them carefully to foster understanding and minimize hurt.
5. Appreciation
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When she does something or gives you a gift that requires thoughtful effort, thank her. The book 5 Love Languages is a good way to understand if she feels loved most by 1) words of affirmation, 2) acts of service, 3) receiving gifts, 4) quality time, or 5) physical touch.
6. Class
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If you speak ill of those who are not present to defend themselves, she will think you may do the same when she is not around. If you want a good woman, you’ll have to be a good man. Practice The Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Men, if there is enough of a spark between you and a conscious, self-respecting woman, demonstrating self-respect and respect for her will make you more desirable to her.
Research suggests that a man's respectful treatment of others positively impacts his relationship with his partner. Showing respect, even to those outside the relationship, can foster feelings of security and trust, leading to more outstanding commitment and positive relationship behaviors. This is because respect is often seen as a form of social currency and a sign of valuing others, which can be reciprocated.
Women, all of the above apply to you, too, but in #4 above, please reserve the “does this dress make me look fat” question for your sisters and platonic girlfriends!
Lisa M. Blacker is a contributor and editor for The Good Men Project, and has been seen in Medium, Entrepreneur, and more.
