6 Questions That Will Bring You Closer To Anyone
Renowned therapist Esther Perel offers thought-provoking conversation topics that will deepen your connection with others.
Anastasiya Gepp / Pexels via Canva Navigating closeness with others, whether they're strangers or loved ones, can feel like venturing into uncharted territory.
It's a journey fraught with uncertainty, where the path to understanding and intimacy can seem obscured by a dense fog of apprehension and doubt. In these moments, we find ourselves grappling with questions that lack easy answers:
How do we bridge the gap between ourselves and those we long to connect with? What words can we utter, what gestures can we make, to break down the barriers that separate us?
According to renowned psychotherapist and author Esther Perel, it's all about hitting them with deep, thought-provoking questions. But how do we do that?
In an Instagram post, Perel goes over the six questions you should ask to get closer to just about anyone.
6 Questions That Will Bring You Closer To Anyone
1. What’s an encounter with a stranger you will never forget?
This question can teach you a lot about a person. Their answer will show you what truly strikes them and what they value most in life.
So, if you truly want to get to know someone, ask this question first!
2. What is a story of friendship lost or found (or re-found) that changed your criteria for friendship?
Looking through past relationships can tell us a lot about a person. While they're reflecting on this question be sure to have a response as well.
After they've told you their response see where your similarities lie. Perhaps you both treasure loyalty and respect because of a toxic friendship from the past.
Through these similarities, you can engage in deeper conversation and create a stronger bond with anyone — even a stranger.
3. What does hope look like for you?
By asking what hope looks like, you're seeing what motivates a person. You're seeing what pushes them to get out of bed in the morning.
Through this question, you can begin to see how developed a person's mindset is. You see how surface-level or deep their response truly is.
4. What music would you like people to play at your funeral and why?
Our choice of music can also reveal how we wish to be perceived by others. In this case, asking Perel's question shows us how they want to be perceived.
We can also gain better insight into the narrative they wish to share with others.
5. If you had another career, what would it be?
This question explores where someone is in life. Are they happy with where they're at, job-wise? Or do they dream about breaking free and finding something more fulfilling? More importantly, are they willing to take the risk to become happier? Or are they the kind of person to play it safe?
This kind of question can help you get to know the person better and find out what you both might have in common.
6. If cities were people, who would be your lover, your boyfriend/girlfriend, and your lifelong partner?
Talk about a thought-provoking question. Through this question, you can see how they view commitment throughout the various stages of relationships.
Do they take the boyfriend and girlfriend stage seriously? Do they see it as exciting? What about life partners? Do they see it as a commitment or do they see it as a burden?
By asking these questions, you can enhance your ability to connect and truly get to know someone, enabling you to build relationships with anyone you choose.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.