Psychology Reveals There's 6 Easy Ways To Turn An Okay Relationship Into An Unbelievable One
Make a 'meh' relationship amazing.
studioroman | Canva Having a happy marriage is challenging enough without dealing with everyday minutia. Everyone can use a tip or two to keep things fresh, alive, passionate, and connected, and now is no different.
Instead of relying on your family and friends to fill your head with ideas, there's plenty of marriage advice to go around and help you change your relationship for the better. And after connecting with thousands of men and women, here's how to have a healthy relationship that is vibrant and will make your marriage last forever.
Here are 6 easy ways to turn an okay relationship into an unbelievable one:
1. Don't give up on the newness of your relationship
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As relationships mature, couples tend to forget that they are men and women first, and spouses/significant others second. Effort is required to keep things fresh.
Never lose sight of the fact that as a relationship grows, you are left with a friendship. So, start as friends and stay friends even after you become lovers.
2. Recognize that you aren't able to change the other person
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So often, people try to mold or change their significant others into what they wish or want them to be. That approach is destined for failure. Research from 2015 claims people can change, but only because they want to.
You can't change anyone ... they have to want to change and grow themselves. You can only control how you act or react to any issues that they present.
3. Make sure they earn your respect and long-term love
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Far too often, once the courtship phase concludes, men drop back from putting in as much effort — and women allow it.
To counter this, men need to keep their effort level high, and women need to not allow a man's halfway effort to serve as acceptable. One study from The Journal of Marital and Family Therapy found that effort in a relationship was strongly and positively associated with satisfaction and stability.
4. Keep your strength, individuality, and self-esteem upfront
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A relationship is made up of two people, and those people have their wants and needs — both inside and outside of the relationship. It's critical to keep their interests and wants top of mind. Compromise might be good in a relationship, but not when you compromise who you are and what you really want out of your life, research from 2014 confirms.
5. Don't settle for second best
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If the other person in your relationship refuses to grow with you or address what you both need, don't settle. Life is far too short. You should be with someone who enjoys you and treats you as a treasure, not as an obligation or duty. One study from 2013 reports that 73% of people settled for their partner; try to avoid being part of this statistic.
6. Aim for great intimacy
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Intimacy isn't just a physical act — it's closeness and trust. It's the personification of passion and sharing. It can be as romantic, as passionate, or as bondage-infused as the couple wants. Being intimate in a monogamous relationship increases your level of commitment and emotional connection with your partner, studies from 2022 confirm.
Sharing one's physical self with the other is critical in a happy marriage (although there are exceptions, of course). Being open, vulnerable, and trusting is an important component of a healthy intimate life. Don't let passion drift away. Remember that passion exists outside of the bedroom.
Charles J. Orlando is a relationship expert best known as the author of the acclaimed relationship book series, The Problem with Women… is Men.