Psychologist Shares 5 Ways To Repair Your Relationship After The Chaos Of Mercury Retrograde
Mercury retrograde may have wreaked havoc, but it doesn't need to be lasting damage.
AstroStar | Shutterstock Ding dong, the witch is dead! And by witch, we mean the Mercury retrograde in Sagittarius that began November 25, 2024, and finally, at long last, ended December 15.
Mercury is the planet of communication in astrology, so when it stations retrograde, it tends to bring a bit of mess to relationships (along with all kinds of other things). Add in Sagittarius' inherent flair for the dramatic, and let's just say that if the past couple of weeks were rough on your relationship, you are definitely not alone, and a bit of triage may be in order.
A psychologist shared 5 ways to repair relationships after Mercury retrograde:
Not only does Mercury retrograde make communication a challenge, but a retrograde is literally an optical illusion — which makes it even easier for people in relationships to get their wires crossed.
Leah Levi is a psychologist and relationship expert at the dating app Flure, and she said that the return to normalcy (relatively speaking, anyway), once Mercury goes back to normal, might not be enough to right a couple's ship. If that's you, these five tips to nurture your partnership might make all the difference.
1. Talk about what you learned — without pointing fingers
That last part is the key! It's easy to start making lists of what the other person did wrong, but Levi said that couples should approach their retrograde post-mortem from a place of learning rather than tallying up mistakes.
Reflect on what that trickster Mercury dragged out into the open. "Maybe stress revealed patterns in how you communicate — or don’t," she said. "Use those insights to grow together rather than staying stuck on past mistakes."
2. Check in on each other’s needs
It's not just the words and details that get mixed up during Mercury retrogrades. It also "often brings misalignment in how partners show up for one another," Levi said. This, of course, means your partner might be feeling a bit short-changed or neglected after the past few weeks.
Taking a moment to talk with your partner about what they might feel has gone missing since the retrograde started is a good first foot forward. "This simple act of asking and adjusting builds connection and trust," Levi says.
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3. Pay attention to how you repair, not just how you fight
Conflict is inherent to pretty much any relationship, whether it's your life partner or the person who sits in the cubicle next door. What makes the difference is how you handle it afterward, especially where romantic partnerships are concerned.
Levi said to take stock of how you both navigated the aftermath and whether or not it worked. Then, agree to make any necessary changes. "This is a good time to refine your repair process," she said, "whether it’s using humor to defuse tension, taking a breather when things escalate, or simply acknowledging each other’s feelings more openly."
4. Rebuild your 'team spirit'
Relationships are a team sport, and every team needs a bit of cheerleading now and then. "One of the less-discussed effects of tension is how it can make us feel like we’re on opposing teams," Levi said.
So, after the craziness of Mercury retrograde, you might be feeling more like adversaries than partners.
"To reset, pick one task or project you can tackle together," Levi says, whether it's a recipe, a home improvement project, or a small overnight getaway. "The key here is collaboration," Levi said, adding that celebrating the results will help cement the idea that "you're stronger together."
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5. Reconnect without an agenda
Is this actually the most important step? All these proactive repairs, deep conversations, and inventory-taking are vital, but simply connecting for the sake of it is just as important, if not more important.
"Not every conversation needs to be about 'the relationship,'" Levi said. "Take interest in your partner as a person — ask about their job, hobbies, or dreams."
This will remind you that you're not just partners and teammates but individuals who care enough to choose to be together — even if Mercury's chicanery may have temporarily convinced you otherwise!
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.