7 Places To Meet Your Next Spouse That Don't Feel Desperate
How to get out of your head and meet someone new.
Katerina Holmes | Canva Do you ever wonder why you haven't been on a date in ages? You think, How come my dating life isn't going anywhere? I am willing to bet that if you got off your cute little butt and put some effort into meeting other singles, you would find some dates.
For starters, get out your calendar and schedule at least three monthly activities or events. Choose at least two events geared towards singles to ensure the greatest chance of getting actual dates. Finally, go alone to get out of your shell and meet more people.
Here are 7 places to meet your next spouse that don't feel desperate:
1. Go to a bar or pub.
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One of the most accessible places to meet people is a neighborhood bar or pub. One Stanford study found that 20% of people met their significant other in a bar.
Do not have more than one drink — it would be better to sip a club soda so you are present and sober. Witness your fears and inhibitions as they arise.
Do you go for the person you are most attracted to, or do you shy away? Do you wait to be noticed by others or send out signals that interest you? Are you judging people and looking for their flaws? What if you looked around the room and focused on what is attractive about each person instead?
2. Join a dance class.
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Salsa and ballroom dancing classes are a perfect way to meet people. When you get moving, you naturally are in a better mood, 2022 research states.
Dancing is also a great way to connect with your body and sensuality. A metaphor for relationships, dancing teaches men how to take the lead, and it helps women feel more comfortable letting a man take the lead. Dancing will also get you out of your head and help you flow with the moment, a skill that comes in handy when you're on an actual date.
3. Go for a hike.
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You can join a group or go alone and see if you can engage other people on the trail. Hiking is a great way to combine exercising with meeting different people.
For some people, parties and meet-up groups can feel too sterile. Doing an activity can create an environment where meeting people feels more natural.
Start by just smiling and saying hello to people. Eventually, you might say, "Mind if I walk with you awhile?" If you like someone, you might ask if they want to meet again for another hike.
4. Go to a networking event.
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Networking meetings give you a built-in excuse to approach someone attractive and initiate a conversation. Look online for singles-related networking groups.
Wear something that stands out — a piece of jewelry, a colorful scarf, or a striking pair of glasses — or notice something someone else is wearing that you can comment on. "I love those retro eyeglasses you're wearing … "
Ask what kinds of clients they are looking for so you can refer to them. If you're bold, suggest getting together for lunch or a drink to discuss how you can help each other.
5. Sit in a coffee shop.
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Grab a cup of coffee and a chair by the door. Don't read a book or the paper. Instead, smile at people as they walk in.
See if you can get someone to stop and talk to you. You could comment on something someone is wearing or on the weather — anything to strike up a conversation.
6. Go to a supermarket.
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Go at the busiest time of the day and see if you can engage people in the vegetable department or the deli section. Be playful and flirtatious.
Try challenging yourself to talk to the cutest person you can find. Ask for help getting something off the top shelf or if that person has ever tried a particular product. Get comfortable talking to everyone, especially people you find attractive.
7. Walk around a park or a dog park.
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Nothing attracts attention like a dog. A friend of mine was having a terrible time getting dates. Then, she got a dog. The dog got her out and about, and lo and behold, she met a charming guy.
Now she has a dog and a boyfriend. Talk about a happy camper. If you meet another dog owner you like, suggest a "doggie" play date.
Lisa Shield is a dating coach with a Master's in Spiritual Psychology and a life and relationship coach certification through The Coaches Training Institute. She hosts the Podcast "Finding The Guardian Of Your Soul."