4 Subtle Signs Of A Parasitic Partner Who Takes But Never Gives, According To Psychology
They're draining the life out of the relationship like a parasite.
Inna Kapturve | Unsplash If you've ever gotten into a fight with your partner that seemed to come out of left field, it probably didn't. Many fights are the result of a recurring issue that's snowballed into a larger problem. Oftentimes, things are left unsaid until — aha! The fight.
The tricky part is that there are subtle ways of upsetting your partner without even being aware of it. It's up to both people to be mindful of any potential triggers they could be guilty of pulling and to address concerns as they arise. Because while it's easy to overlook the little things, they're usually the biggest relationship stressors. See below for the subtle signs of a parasitic partner who could be sabotaging relationships.
Here are the subtle signs of a parasitic partner who takes but never gives:
1. They don't give their full attention
While their partner is talking to them, they're only half listening, responding to an email on their phone, or glancing at the TV screen behind them. Even if they're not trying to be rude, they're showing their partner that whatever else they're doing is more important than whatever they have to say.
Be considerate and give them their undivided attention. They're also more likely to avoid a future fight or misunderstanding if they're all ears now.
2. They won't help until they're asked
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Just because their SO doesn't explicitly ask for a hand doesn't mean they wouldn't appreciate the offer. By sitting on the sidelines, they're only indicating that they don't care.
Instead of making favors seem like a burden, take the initiative to provide their assistance before being asked to do so. Because by then, it's already too late.
A 2023 study explained that while potentially challenging, asking for help from a partner is crucial for a healthy and fulfilling relationship. It fosters trust, intimacy, and mutual support. People have different communication styles and comfort levels when asking for help, so it's essential to be mindful of your partner's personality and needs.
3. They don't try to see the importance of things that don't interest them
Ever gotten into fights that all started with "What's the big deal?!?" The subject matter itself may not be that significant, but it's usually the fact that one partner isn't willing to understand the other's perspective that sparks the argument.
Even if it's silly as their SO asking which outfit they should wear to dinner, give them their thoughtful opinion instead of an eye roll. It's something they care about and value their opinion on.
Rather than creating unnecessary tension, try to be engaged, even if it's about something they don't quite understand. That's real love.
When a partner struggles to understand or value things that don't interest them, it can stem from various factors, including differing values, communication styles, or attachment styles. Research by The Gottman Institute recommends open communication, empathy, and understanding each other's perspectives are crucial for navigating these situations.
4. They don't always come through
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A good partner can be characterized in several ways, but being reliable is up there. Not only is reliability a good trait to nurture in general but what they say is also how they build trust with others.
Even if it's something as small as a dinner reservation, honor it. Each time they let their partner down, they're proving that they're not dependable, and that's never a good quality to have.
A 2021 study revealed that a partner's unreliability can stem from various factors, including uncertainty, lack of commitment, a desire for control, or attachment patterns formed in early childhood, ultimately impacting relationship satisfaction and trust. Unreliable behavior can create emotional distance as partners hesitate to rely on their partner or share vulnerabilities.
Nicole Yi is a former associate editor at PopSugar. She oversees, writes, and plans all copy and content across channels for her company, an exciting e-commerce brand called Verishop.