5 Outdated Wedding Traditions Sane Brides Should Probably Ditch
I'd rather keep my wedding day simple for myself.
nadtochiy | Canva A couple of weeks ago, I was having a conversation about weddings: recent weddings of people I know, weddings I had been in, and weddings from several years ago. Amid this discussion, I contemplated what I would do at my wedding compared to what others have done (because, you know, what single woman doesn't do that at least a little bit?).
But rather than deciding what bridesmaid dresses or what kind of cake I wanted, I thought about ditching the more popular wedding traditions altogether. The more I thought, the more I found myself wanting to ditch any tradition that seemed remotely impractical and to do things my way.
Here are five wedding traditions any bride and groom-to-be should ditch:
1. Signing up for a wedding registry
In a society where many go to college at the age of 18 rather than straight to married life, do we need wedding registries? Honestly, I already have enough dishes, towels, sheets, wall decorations, picture frames, and kitchen supplies from living on my own for the last seven years of my life.
Why would I want new stuff when what I already have is perfectly fine? If you want to give me money, then go for it. I can certainly benefit from some extra cash, but I don't need extra fancy bedding.
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2. Buying a gown
One of the things I found interesting while living and teaching abroad in South Korea was that none of the women there bought a wedding gown. Instead, everybody rented. At first, I found this to be a little strange. I mean, how could a rental fit properly and why wouldn't you want to own it?
But the longer I thought about it, the more it made sense. Why buy a $3,000 dress that you're only going to wear for one day and then spend all this money later to preserve it so it can sit in your closet? It just doesn't make any sense.
3. Spending thousands on diamond engagement rings
Though I certainly enjoy having some pieces of gorgeous jewelry, whenever it comes to engagement rings I can't help but find myself thinking, "God that's a lot of money to spend on just a ring." I'd rather have a nicer place to live, a more fuel-efficient car, or a vacation to Europe or the Caribbean.
4. Making sure the groom doesn't see the bride before the wedding
I don't know how many weddings I've gone to where I had to deal with this super-long wait between the wedding ceremony and the reception because the bride and groom didn't want to see each other to take pictures before the wedding. Has there been any correlation between couples who didn't follow this tradition and a greater chance of divorce?
I highly doubt it, so I'd rather make things more convenient for my guests than to be concerned about my future husband seeing me in the white dress before the ceremony.
5. Taking the groom's last name
This seems like a silly thing for me not to do considering I have a complex last name nobody is ever able to pronounce correctly, and I have to spell it out all the time. Because of this, I spent most of my childhood anxiously anticipating the day I could have a different last name so I wouldn't have the added stress that comes with it.
Yet, I can't help but ask myself, "Why bother?" It's taken me nearly 20 years to master writing my signature with a total of 18 letters. On top of that, I have everything that's mine under my current name. Why on earth would I want to go through the hassle of changing everything? I'd rather opt in to keep it simple for myself.
Jennifer Twardowski is a writer and Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Her work has been featured in the Huffington Post, Elephant Journal, and others.