The One Thing Men Need To Accept If They Want Their Relationship To Last
Trust us, guys. This is a game-changer.
Halay Alex / Shutterstock Keeping a relationship alive can be challenging, requiring time, commitment, and effort, as well as a willingness to learn from your past mistakes.
Despite these challenges, there is one key element that could make things easier for men.
Relationship podcaster Jimmy Knowles discusses the one thing guys need to accept if they want to keep their relationship going strong.
The One Thing Men Need To Accept If They Want A Lasting Relationship
"Dr. John Gottman said that in his research of thousands of couples when a man was not willing to accept the influence of his female partner, that relationship quote had an 81% chance of self-destructing," says Knowles.
However, that's not to say men are terrible or that your opinions don't count. The point is, in a relationship, there's no need for a power struggle.
Moreover, our partner's needs, complaints, and desires should impact us.
Knowles continues, "This isn't about lowering your guard so they can walk all over you." This is about having trust, respect, and consideration in your relationship.
And if you get defensive during an argument with your partner, even if they're being respectful and kind, it could mean you don't trust your partner or consider their feelings. Which is pretty irrational
As Knowles puts it, "Don't you think just logically that in a partnership there needs to be mutual respect."
And how can you truly respect your partner if you can't even consider their perspective?
He continues, "And men it's just a fact that on average we struggle with this more than women."
So, if you want to be a great leader, don't forget that to lead, you must show that you have their best interests at heart. And this starts with considering their feelings.
But what if you struggle with listening to your partner? What can you do? Psychotherapist Jamie Clarke discusses the three most effective ways to listen to your partner.
Three Effective Ways To Listen To Your Partner
1. Active listening
When you're actively listening, use gestures or words to show that you're tuned in to what your partner is saying.
For instance, nod along or use eye contact to show you're listening. Or use words such as, "Go on," or, "I see," to show they're being heard.
2. Don't interrupt
During a conversation with your partner, it's easy to cut in. When your emotions are high, you might just blurt out the first thing that pops into your head.
However, this is the worst mistake you can make. Not only is interrupting disrespectful, but it's also frustrating for your partner.
So, give them the space to express what's on their mind before you share your perspective.
3. Validate their emotions
Some men might find it hard to validate their partner's emotions. And it's often because they grew up being told to shove their feelings to the side.
Because of this, it can be hard for them to understand where we are coming from.
Regardless, validating your partner's emotions is absolutely necessary in any conversation. It shows you're listening to them and ready to meet them halfway.
If you don't know where to start try saying, "I can see why you'd feel that way," to show that you're open to understanding their viewpoint.
For some men, considering their partner's influence might feel emasculating. After all, we grew up in a world that told men that to be leaders they had to be tough, cold, or distant with their partners.
But if you want a healthy relationship, you have to understand that your relationship is an equal partnership. Both of you should absolutely feel free to express your feelings and ideas without fear of being rejected.
So, sit down with your partner, and listen to what they have to say. Compromise and work through problems together. Trust me, the future of your relationship depends on it.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.