12 Old-Fashioned Relationship Habits That We Should Bring Back Again
These age-old habits will make your relationship stronger than ever.
Dean Drobot / Shutterstock Relationships have become a bit complicated in recent years. Many couples idolize the people they see online, ultimately creating unrealistic expectations in their own relationship.
It's easy to wonder if there's any room for brighter days. But there just might be. That is, if we start to bring back certain habits from decades past.
Here are 12 old-fashioned relationship habits we should bring back
1. Writing letters to each other
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What's more romantic than writing letters to each other? Choosing to pour your heart and energy into your relationship is admirable, as well as beneficial.
Marriage and family therapist Kathy McCoy explains that writing letters can help restore hope and healing in your relationship. It can also help clarify emotions and help you target problematic areas in your relationship.
According to McCoy, "Your letter or letters can stay with you for further reading, reflection, and discussion. They can remind you of your struggles and your triumphs as a couple."
2. Gifting small but thoughtful presents
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People love to know that they're important to someone and that the person they adore, adores them right back. What better way to make that clear than by getting a small yet thoughtful gift?
Maybe your partner enjoys a specific restaurant and you surprise them by getting their go-to order. Or, maybe you have an inside joke and you purchase them a gift reminiscent of that.
Buying these thoughtful gifts doesn't take much effort, but it does make a difference. It shows that you listen and care about what your partner has to say, and that you're willing to go out of your way to put a smile on their face.
3. Putting away phones to spend time together
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Technology is addicting and can quickly consume our time. But if you want to keep a relationship strong, you need to get better at managing your use.
When you're spending time together, whether it's eating dinner or watching a movie together, put away your phone. The National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute recommends limiting your screen time to two hours a day or less. While it may not be entirely possible to cut down that much, at least put your phone away when spending quality time together.
4. Staying open and vulnerable in communication
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Never shy away from difficult emotions — your relationship certainly benefits from it. Licensed counselor Kari Rusnak says that expressing emotional vulnerability helps create better emotional intimacy and connection.
But how can couples practice it? Rusnak explains that sharing your feelings, showing physical intimacy (hand-holding or hugs), talking about past trauma, and expressing needs could be a great place to start.
5. Spending time outside together
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Don't underestimate the importance of going outside. Studies show that simply being near green space lowers stress, anxiety, and depression. It's an old-fashioned relationship habit that will bring you closer together, all while having some relaxing fun.
Being outside together means you don't need to destress alone; rather, it can be an enjoyable experience you both benefit from.
6. Holding off on physical intimacy
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Physical intimacy is important in any relationship, but jumping into something physical quickly might not be such a wise decision.
A study on 10,932 unmarried couples found that waiting to be physically intimate is associated with greater relationship satisfaction, stability, and communication, compared to individuals who engaged in physical intimacy early on.
Don't feel pressured to take the next step. Keep it old-fashioned by taking your time and building a connection with each other first.
7. Doing chores together
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Couples who do chores together stay together. According to a study, when wives are happy with the division of labor in the household, there's higher marital quality in the relationship.
If you're unsure of where to start, figure out your schedule. Find times when you're both free and work from there. Wash dishes together or do laundry side by side. Small actions like these can really make a difference.
8. Calling instead of texting
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Texting is a convenience that most of us overuse, and while there's nothing wrong with texting, calling is an "old-fashioned" habit couples should start getting into the habit of using.
One study determined that voice calling did a better job of helping to read people's emotions more easily. So, calling your partner more often is a great idea, as it allows you to express your love and adoration to help you better get your point across.
9. Dressing your best
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Called "enclothed cognition," this is when the clothes you wear affect you psychologically. That's why dressing to impress matters, even if you've been with your partner for years.
Putting on a nice outfit and ditching the pajamas not only affects your mind, but can impact your work performance as well. In relationships, putting in that extra effort will take your mood from feeling okay to feeling spectacular. And it will bring you and your partner closer together in the end.
10. Being a gentleman
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Some say that chivalry is dead, and most people would probably agree. The long-time practice of paying for dates or holding open the door is no more. And while being a gentleman is considered "old-fashioned," there's a reason why it worked so well for so long: women like nice men.
One study showed that when looking for long-term commitment, women preferred men who were either nice guys or heroes (men who are dominant, attractive, and supportive). Even though most relationships have grown past outdated gender roles and norms, there's nothing wrong with being a little chivalrous every now and then.
11. Being clear about your intentions
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Don't string your partner along. Instead, be clear about your intentions. Be distinct about how you're feeling and where you want the relationship to go in the future.
As licensed counselor Dan Bolton points out, "It allows the woman to make a fully informed decision about how she wants to proceed with you." It also avoids awkward misunderstandings and miscommunications. Being up front and authentic from the beginning will benefit you and your relationship down the road.
12. Putting in effort
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People want to be in a relationship where their partner goes the extra mile. Whether it's going on a date, trying something new as a couple, or simply making sure the dishes are done, a little bit goes a long way.
Putting in effort proves you care about your partner and are willing to go all-out just to convey that to them. And that right there is what keeps a relationship alive.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.