15 Men Share The Biggest Problems In Their Romantic Relationships
Love doesn't come without disagreements and arguments.
Helen Sushitskaya | Shutterstock Fighting is a natural part of any romantic relationship. We don't fight with our romantic partners because we don't love them. We don't fight with them because we aren't a good match. We don't even fight with them because the relationship just wasn't meant to be.
By and large, the reason most couples argue is an obvious one: every single person is different.
This means that we all have our own worldviews and our own expectations of the people and the world around us. It's just a part of learning to be with another person — you fight about your relationship problems, you learn more, and you adjust those expectations.
While fighting or having disagreements with your partner is totally natural, there is a right way to fight when you're in love and a wrong way. You don't want to hurl insults or say things that you can't take back, and you absolutely never want to raise your hands in violence out of frustration.
Although it's impossible to know how you and your dude are going to butt heads, what you can do is learn what some of the most common fights are in relationships.
To get a better sense of the different common issues that men have with their girlfriends, I visited the AskMen subreddit to let them tell us themselves. While some of the things they fight about might seem silly, chances are you'll recognize some of your relationship battles in their stories.
Maybe understanding what men think and what sets them off and why will help give you some much-needed perspective the next time the two of you are at odds.
Here 15 men share the biggest problems in their romantic relationships:
1. A busy partner
"My SO is busy. She has a career with a lot of time-sensitive stuff. She has a kid. So, sometimes, plans need to shift, delay, or be canceled because of work stuff or parent stuff. I happen to be a pretty flexible dude, and my schedule can change pretty easily, so it's not an issue at all, but sometimes, when you're looking to go out of town for a trip and she keeps having to push the time back to work on more grants stuff before the deadline, it's a bit of a hassle."
2. When to have kids
"I want babies. She wants to wait a couple of years. So we've compromised and are waiting a couple of years."
3. Racist families
"Certain members of her family don't support interracial relationships. While she pays no mind to this and states she doesn't care what they think of her, the secret is still not completely out yet and I'd like it to be. Even if they wouldn't see our relationship as legitimate, I still want to be seen in general instead of being a secret."
4. Mean moms
"Her mother. A rather destructive character. No guy was ever good enough. Neither was her daughter."
5. Being too similar
"We're both very stubborn and often don't want to admit when we're wrong."
6. Making everyday decisions
"Indecision on what to do/eat/etc. A lot of the time we've started doing the thing where one person will suggest three options and the other has to select one of them to avoid the problem."
7. Communication, communication, communication
"She said I didn't listen. She has the tendency to ramble on and I would often tune out. I saw her talking with other people and could often tell the moment they zoned out too. I would often remember the gist of the conversations but not the details.
She made plans with me a week ago and said she would pick me up to go to a fundraiser. On the event day, I texted her in the morning asking what time I should pick her up. Rather than text me back to clarify she was picking me up, she didn't text me at all. I should have contacted her before going to her place but I didn't. Finally, when I texted her when I was near her place, she said she wanted to pick me up because it was near her work."
8. Not being open about feelings
"She didn't communicate when she was mad and let it boil until she had already made up her mind about leaving me. I thought everything was great, then 6 months later she sends a text and that was it."
9. Believe it or not, animals
"Small problem but she has to admire every animal/stuffed animal that she sees. It just gets old after a while."
10. Division of labor
"I work 40-50 hours per week and commute 8-10 hours per week. These hours are necessary for me to make 2x what she does. She works 32 and commutes about 2 hours total, so with work and commute, I'm 14-26 hours ahead of her before I do anything else.
I do all of the outside work, and some laundry, cooking, dishes, and groceries (not as much as her in those areas). In my mind, if I do nothing for housework, she should start complaining about around 15 hours of housework. She disagrees strongly. We've almost split up over it."
11. Health woes
"Problem: we both have medical problems and they make a mess of life."
12. Finding time to be together
"We struggle sometimes with socialization. I wake up early to work early to get home early to be present with our kids most of the afternoon and evening. This makes me tired earlier than she is since I wake up 2 hours before she does. I've just been told by the doctor I'm low on Vitamin D, though, so that might help me not be so tired by 8 PM."
13. Space and hobbies
"I have more board games than she likes. Not because she cares what hobbies I have but because they take up space. I think once we finish the basement and there's a closet or shelf or something for them to go in, it'll sting a lot less than them taking up room in our bedroom closet."
14. Trying to conceive using an egg donor
"I want the process to be done and over with but my wife gets a little overwhelmed with it and almost shuts down. I've taken all the tasks, research, compiling of data on my shoulders so all she has to do is look and help decide which one it's going to be."
15. Not being respectful of each other's emotions
"You're being overly sensitive / you're being insensitive."
Rebecca Jane Stokes is an editor, freelance writer, former Senior Staff Writer for YourTango, and the former Senior Editor of Pop Culture at Newsweek. Her bylines have appeared in Fatherly, Gizmodo, Yahoo Life, Jezebel, Apartment Therapy, Bustle, Cosmopolitan, SheKnows, and many others.