What Guys Think Of Valentine’s Day, As Explained By 21 Men
Are you one of the lovers or the haters?
Getty "How do you actually feel about Valentine's Day, babe?"
It's a question most women who have been in relationships with men want to ask, but almost never do, either because they're scared of the answer they'll get in response, or because they know better than to ask guys to tell them the truth and possibly ruin their ability to celebrate this sacred time of hearts, flowers, teddy bears, chocolates and candy.
Luckily, such fears are easily overcome on the Internet, where we all have almost unlimited access to ask complete strangers pretty much any questions we want as the mood strikes.
So, when I saw that someone posed the following question to the guys on Reddit AskMen — "How do you actually feel about Valentines Day?" — I immediately dove in and read every single one of the responses.
Do guys care about Valentine's Day? The answers were just as varied as I expected them to be, and maybe even a little bit more. I may sound a tad bitter, but when a man offers a unique opinion regarding something romantic like this holiday, I find myself a little surprised. (Maybe because I've got baggage, but maybe not... You don't know my life!)
Of course, how anyone feels about Valentine's Day changes over time depending on age and relationship status.
When you're single, Valentine's Day is evil and awful. When you're younger and poor, you talk a big game about how it's all commercial. But then there are the folks who are ride or die for the holiday, no matter what the haters think, and it's these people who I find so endearing.
It's easy to get jaded about Valentine's Day, and I can imagine that for men it must feel daunting to be confronted with a day somebody somewhere long ago designated to require a full and total expression of your love for your partner every year. Talk about trial by fire!
Here's what men really think about Valentine's Day and what's expected of them every year on February 14.
1. It's a normal day to some.
"Just another day."
2. Love is something others want to express daily.
"Yeah, my friend has summed up Valentine's Day the best for me. In his mind, you should tell someone you love and appreciate them every day, instead of just one day a year."
3. It may be arbitrary.
"I want to get her something that shows I love her because I want to, and not because it's expected because of an arbitrary date."
4. It can be good if you want a bargain.
"I find it's a good night to go out to a nice dinner, just because a lot of restaurants are often running 'couple's meal' deals."
5. It's cheesy but fun.
"I'm aware it's a Hallmark holiday, but when you're with somebody you love, it's actually kind of fun to dedicate a day to reminding them how much you love them. I don't need a special day as an excuse to do this, but it's still just a nice idea."
6. It's sweet and people are too jaded.
"It's a fun reminder, because, let's face it, people fall into routine. You don't have to do it. But I don't get the trendy 'I hate V-Day' hipster stuff here either."
7. Anniversaries are better.
"That's what anniversaries are for. Plus, there is no added outside corporate and social pressure to make sure she 'feels so loved this day.' Unless you got married on Valentine's Day. In that case, sorry man."
8. It's a nice reminder that spring is coming.
"I think it's kind of nice. You don't have to buy stupid stuff for your girlfriend or boyfriend, just do something nice. I like that there is a day that is set aside to appreciate being in love. I am well aware of the origins, but it is possible to ignore that part and just have a nice time.
I buy my girlfriend presents randomly, and I am also going to get her something for Valentine's Day. It serves as a reminder that spring is just around the corner!"
9. It's the 15th that wins.
"I prefer the day after Valentine's Day, also known as the Feast of St. Markdown. The day when we can acquire Valentine's chocolate... on markdown! An awesome day, one that should be worshipped every year. All glory to St. Markdown and his hallowed chocolate."
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10. It's too much work.
"I could never tell my wife this, but I get really burned out buying gifts. Like, if you actually lay it out, between birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, Valentine's Day, I'm seriously buying her a present or planning an elaborate date every 6 weeks."
11. It's better when you outsource.
"This year I didn't want to bother with planning Valentine's Day, so I just told my S.O. other to take care of it. I have only a small idea of what we're doing.
She's been trying to keep it a surprise, but I know at least she got a babysitter for Saturday night into Sunday morning, so I know we're probably staying at a hotel. I'm pretty darn excited though, and it beats stressing out about planning something awesome."
12. It's a fun way to be creative.
"My girlfriend and I have just stopped buying big gifts for every holiday. We're both creative (I write, and she paints and crochets/knits) so we make each other something special. It's more fun, more personal, and less expensive that way.
We do still go out on Valentine's Day, but mostly because some places offer couples' discounts on Valentine's Day!"
13. It's better when you're a kid.
"It's a cool holiday as a kid. Whole classes pass out little cards with candy inside, and you would go home with, like, 30+ valentines."
14. It's a sweet holiday.
"I just see it as a nice way for couples who have been together for many years to remind themselves that they do love their partners."
15. It's for the dogs.
"It's my dog's birthday, so my wife and I will probably have a dog cake or something for him. We go out to eat three or four days before Valentine's Day to avoid the crowds."
16. It's a milestone.
"For the first time in my life, I'll be celebrating Valentine's Day with a 'real' valentine (sorry Grandma, you didn't count), and I'm looking forward to it. Not in a gloating, 'Oh, how lovely love is' sort of way, just as an extra occasion to acknowledge my relationship with her."
17. It's harmless.
"I think it's very nice. It's a day we've put aside where you meet up with the person that you love, and you spend some time with them and show how much you care for them. And if you really like someone, and they don't know it, Valentine's Day encourages you to tell them. It's a fun little day that's not hurting anyone."
18. It's an easy way to make women happy.
"Married men — although it sucks and it's stupid — your wife might be one who just appreciates a simple gesture that tells her you love her. It doesn't have to cost money. Put a note on her pillow with romantic thoughts, or bring her breakfast in bed. Draw a heart in the steam on the bathroom mirror. That's all it takes."
19. It can be sad.
"For those who have no one to care for them, it can be a sad day — a reminder of their loneliness."
20. It's time to treat yourself.
"I would 100 percent participate but I don't have a girlfriend, so it's just seeing people who like each other a lot, and me in Chipotle getting extra guac because 'I love myself'."
21. It's not an excuse to rain on someone else's parade.
"I think the people who hate on it are worse than the people who obsess over it. I don't care either way, but c'mon, let people be happy!"
Rebecca Jane Stokes is a writer and the former Senior Editor of Pop Culture at Newsweek with a passion for lifestyle, geek news, and true crime.