Men Who Make Great Husbands Ask Their Wives These 5 Questions Almost Daily
These simple questions show you're fully tuned in to her.
Justin L U C K | Shutterstock Many good husbands have the best of intentions to take care of their partners, but many of them have no idea what questions they should ask their wives regularly to show they are interested, engaged, and want to be helpful.
They know what questions to ask at work, or with their buddies, or even with their parents — but not with their partners. Despite true and honest love, they are sometimes confused by it. Making your wife happy is all about asking the right questions. And there are a few you can start with.
Here are five questions men who make great husbands ask their wives almost daily:
1. 'Do you want to go on a date?'
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You have been with your person for a while. Wouldn’t it feel silly to ask them out on a date at this point? Absolutely not.
One of the things I hear from most of my female clients is they miss the courtship period of their relationship. You know what I mean — in the beginning, when you wined and dined your wife, brought her flowers, and made plans.
Many men are happy when the relationship goes out of the courtship phase into the happily settled-down phase, according to a 2002 study. They feel like the pressure is off and they can just live their lives with their person. There is nothing wrong with that, but it isn’t necessarily what their girlfriends or wives want.
So, invite your lady out on a date. Perhaps a dinner out? A picnic on the beach? A movie and a slice of pizza? Something out of the norm of what you usually do.
Don't take her to your usual casual dining spot — take her somewhere she hasn't been before. Maybe you can recreate your very first date, or a special place you used to go to when your love began to bloom.
You must make a plan, rather than relying on your girlfriend or wife to do so. And be sure the plan is something you know they will enjoy.
2. 'How was your day?'
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We are all exhausted when we get home from work. We all work too hard, and if you add kids, dogs, friends, and family members into the mix, life can feel overwhelming. That said, checking in with your partner to see how their day was is a key part of staying connected with your girlfriend or wife.
It seems like a small thing, and sometimes it may be redundant because their day might not have been much different from yesterday. But when you ask someone how their day went, even if you know the answer, you are making them feel like you are interested in their lives, and that makes them feel important.
After you ask them about their day, it is essential you listen for the answer, and maybe even ask questions and engage in conversation. If they had an issue at work, ask them (if they are comfortable) to elaborate. Ask your girlfriend or wife how their day went to make them feel important.
3. 'How are you feeling?'
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Women process emotions 24/7 and they have for most of their lives. They are, in many ways, fluent in the art of talking about their emotions. In general, this is not so much the case for men.
As a result, many men are scared to ask how their partner is feeling because they are nervous about what the answer will be and are not sure if they can be helpful if they need to be.
But if you ask your wife or girlfriend how they are feeling and just listen to their answer, you will be scoring points. Almost as much as they like processing their feelings, women like to know they are being heard — but no one is trying to fix them.
Just know if you ask your partner how they are feeling, you won’t need to be worried about having to answer correctly or fix anything. Because all she wants is a listening ear, not a bona fide solution. Truly, all you need to do is listen and your girlfriend or wife will feel loved.
4. 'What do you need me to do?'
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In my experience, many men don’t ask what their women need from them. As a result, they tend to forge ahead doing something for themselves they might not want or might not be a priority for their partner.
When you do something for your partner that they don’t want you to do, it might be a disaster. To remedy this, ask her what she needs from you.
You can ask what she needs regarding any topic. If it’s the weekend, you could ask what chores you could do. If she seems down, ask her what she needs to help her feel better. If she wants to go away for the weekend, ask her how you can help her.
And if you see her struggling, don’t try to fix her. Ask her what she needs from you in the moment. It could be nothing, or it could be something you never thought of. Never forget to ask, though; that's the most important part.
She will be glad you did and appreciate the effort you are putting in to make her feel appreciated and adored, as supported by a 2010 study that showed Americans "relied about evenly on verbal and nonverbal methods of expressing appreciation".
5. 'Do you know how much I love you — and can I rub your feet?'
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You probably think this one is pretty big, but you don’t necessarily have to do them together. The reason I have included these on the list is because of the importance of physical touch and words of affirmation for women. And these are both things men can struggle with providing — not because they can’t, but because it might not always come naturally to them.
You might be thinking your wife or girlfriend knows you love her. So, why should you have to ask her? While she might know, there isn’t a woman in the world who doesn’t want to hear, over and over, her man loves her.
Being reminded she is really and truly loved makes a woman feel loved and protected. As to the rubbing of feet, it’s all about physical touch.
For men, rubbing her feet might seem odd. For women, it is very much a good thing; most women need physical connection to feel close enough to their partner.
Many men don’t realize this because for them it is different; being intimate makes them feel closer to their person. So, giving your wife or girlfriend a foot rub or a massage will not only make her feel loved and protected, but might also just be a gateway to intimacy.
Mitzi Bockmann is a NYC-based Certified Life Coach who works with individuals who strive to heal their toxic relationships so they can have their happily ever after. Mitzi's bylines have appeared in The Good Men Project, MSN, PopSugar, Prevention, Huffington Post, Psych Central, among many others.
