Psychology Says If You Can Master These 10 Skills, You'll Only Attract Healthy, Normal Men
How to finally find more when it comes to dating.
Andres Ayrton | Canva The best dating advice is different if you're casually dating than if you're searching to settle down with your one true love. Are you tired of dating around, ready to meet the love of your life and enjoy a healthy, lasting relationship with healthy, normal men? Awesome.
Now, let's talk about what you can do to attract people who want healthy relationships so you can find true love and make your next relationship the best — and not another casual fling. If things haven't always gone your way, you can ensure you date with a higher level of consciousness while keeping in mind you're trying to attract your one true love.
Becoming more aware of what you're doing, how you interact with people, and your choices can attract people who want healthy relationships and find the true love you dream of.
If you can master these ten skills, you'll only attract healthy, normal men:
1. Take time to heal from your old relationship
Before you jump into the next relationship, research confirms it's wise to take time to assess the previous one. Think about what went well, what you didn’t like, and what you wouldn’t want to go through again.
Then, release any leftover anger or hurt feelings so you don't carry that forward. You can do this with a massage or energy work, like Reiki, or through journaling and traditional talk therapy. You have plenty of options to help you let it go and clean the house, so you'll be ready to attract healthy relationships.
2. Know what you want from someone
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When was the last time you evaluated the qualities you look for in a partner? It might be time to do it again. Consider what true love means to you and how healthy relationships should feel.
Don't be made to feel silly about believing in true love and soulmates. One 2020 YouGov poll found that 60% of Americans believe in soulmates.
As you grow and evolve, your desires can change. Take a fresh look at the personality characteristics that would be enjoyable and compatible.
Next, write about the kind of relationship you want and how you are together. To make this as factual as possible, think of how you would share an ideal day. This can further clarify the kind of person you're looking for.
3. Work on loving yourself
So many experts talk about this step because it's vital to your happiness. Self-love is all about self-care, which includes eating well, drinking water, exercising, and getting enough sleep.
It's also about nurturing your spirit by reading, learning, being creative, and more. Another bonus? Self-care is healthy for you, 2022 research confirms.
When you love yourself, you automatically feel worthy of love and will bounce back from disappointment and rejection much faster. All love starts with self-love, so when you love yourself first, it's easier for someone else to love you, too.
4. Be the quality person you're looking for
If you want someone who knows their self and takes good care of their self, you must do those things, too. If they have done plenty of personal development, then so should you. Lift yourself to be a match for the kind of person you seek.
5. Enjoy a good life on your own
Are you looking for a high-quality person? First, you'll need to live a good life yourself. That's part of what will attract them to you!
Think about the things you'd want to do together and try them on your own now. Live fully while you're single and dating so you aren't bored waiting for that ideal partner. One Ohio State University poll found that most people agree their alone time is vital to their mental health.
6. Appeal to their playful side
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The kind of person who is a healthy relationship partner is usually more playful. One 2014 poll from the European Review of Applied Psychology found how important play is to healthy relationships.
Learn how to attract people by appealing to this side of them. You can rely on your charm to play and be flirty. You can be yourself because this looks different for every person. Let them see how smart and accomplished you are but do it playfully.
7. Hold firm boundaries
A confident person maintains firm boundaries even in healthy relationships. You know how you should be treated and refuse to accept anything less or any excuses. The benefit of the doubt is only provided once and not over and over.
Don't be afraid to weed out the wrong people who don't cut it. Couples who can clearly communicate their boundaries have healthier relationships, psychology confirms.
8. Let go of the wrong ones
When you realize the person you are dating isn't a good match, you decide with your head and not just your heart. Once a person proves they don't have what you're looking for, you end it and move on.
So, if the person you're seeing cancels repeatedly, doesn't keep their word, or disappears and pops back in, they are no longer a viable option. This keeps your heart free to find true love with “the one” you deserve.
9. Speak up about your needs
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If you need help or have a concern, speak up. Of course, how you bring up the subject or ask for what you want makes a difference. Be direct and use fewer words than you might usually use.
In other words, get to the point without much emotion. Don't over-explain yourself — make it a matter of fact. The Gottman Institute tells us the only way to get what you want in a relationship is to speak up.
Never start the conversation with, “We need to talk,” which will scare a person and potentially shut them down.
You cannot have a healthy relationship if you fear discussing anything. For love to last, both people must negotiate and compromise. You might as well find out how they handle this situation if you plan to share your life with them.
The sooner you know they can handle an open conversation, the better your chances are for building a life together.
10. Learn what a healthy relationship looks like
There is so much information and dating advice about what works best today. Read about the common mistakes that get in the way of finding love.
If you are serious about finding true love, invest in yourself and your future by reading, taking classes, and even considering working with a coach. Dating experts can save you time and heartbreak if you follow their advice and use their wisdom.
People fall in love every day. Hold fast, and know that true love is in your future.
Ronnie Ann Ryan is an Intuitive Coach, Past Life Reader, and author of six books. She’s the creator of the free audio course How to Ask the Universe for a Sign and Get an Answer Within 24 Hours. She's been published on ABC, BBC, and NPR.