3 Magic Words That Will Make Any Man Open Up To You
How to make a man vulnerable with you.
Dean Drobot | Canva There's a certain attitude that inspires a man's complete honesty with you — a mindset that can help you identify the right man and avoid Mr. Wrong as early in the dating process as possible, even before you meet in person for the first time. And if you're in a relationship, it can help you get to the bottom of what he's thinking and feeling, so you can know why he's withdrawing, if he's open to taking things to the "next level," or what's holding him back from fully committing to you. How you ask is everything.
It's not that men are afraid of certain questions. It's just that the way a woman asks those questions can make him feel defensive. If a woman warns, "You're not seeing anyone else right now, are you?" it almost automatically invites dishonesty in a man — he'll feel cornered and pressured. To make him feel he is "safe" when he shares with you, you need what I call the 'Anything is okay' attitude. Now, this doesn't mean that anything is okay for a man to do and that you're supposed to accept anything he does and have no boundaries or limitations. The attitude is more like you thinking, anything is okay for you to share with me, but I know what I will and will not tolerate in my life, and what I want. But you can tell me anything. I can handle it.
How do you communicate this attitude? Easy. Three little words that make him open up. Okay, I won't kill you with suspense anymore. Here's what will make a man feel safe enough for honest with you ... "I'm just curious."
It can go like this. "Are you seeing anyone right now? I'm just curious." "What kind of relationship are you looking for? I'm just curious." "What kind of woman do you most admire? I'm just curious." "Where do you see yourself in the next five years? I'm just curious."
Using these three words not only lets a man know that you'll be okay with whatever he tells you, but it also instantly conveys that you're not needy or too aggressive and that he can feel safe telling you just about anything. If you want to inspire sincerity in a man, you must have the 'Anything is okay' attitude and use those 3 magic words to get the most honest response possible. That way, you won't waste a lot of time going on dates with "unavailable" men, men who have skeletons in their closet, aren't over their ex, or are interested in a different kind of relationship than you are.
And here's a nice bonus: Sometimes with this magic attitude, you get a man to reveal a lot more than he would ever reveal on his own, without prompting. As a result, he'll feel more attracted to you because he'll feel more understood and appreciated by you. This is why I call this attitude "magic." It not only inspires honesty from a man, it makes him feel more connected to you at the same time.
Christian Carter is a dating coach and author of the e-book Catch Him & Keep Him. He has helped more than three million women become more successful with men, dating, and relationships.