12 Magic Phrases To Say To Your Partner Way More Often
Your words mean a lot.
Standret | Shutterstock There are things your partner needs to hear you say on a consistent basis in order to feel deeply loved. Some they know about and some they don't.
Communication is key in intimate relationships, and it helps to be intentional about telling your partner what they need to hear from you. So, focus on bringing these phrases into your relationship and see your partner open up like never before.
Here are 12 magic phrases you need to say to your partner more often
1. 'I want to make your life easier'
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A thriving relationship occurs when two independent, emotionally stable people decide they want to help each other live the most fulfilling lives possible.
One way to communicate that is by saying any variation of, "I want to make your life easier." It could be something like, "I want to help you in any way that I can," "Please don't hesitate to let me know if you feel like I could make your life easier in any way," or, "Is there anything I could do today that would take some pressure off of you?"
Even something as simple as picking up their dry cleaning could have a measurable impact on their stress level on a certain day, so keep your ears out for things you can do to help them. That doesn't mean you need to take on their responsibilities or moods as your own, but being willing to help them out (and communicating that mindset) is always appreciated.
2. 'I want to take you out on a date'
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Just because you're in a relationship with someone doesn't mean you get to stop dating them. Whether it's pre-planned or (better yet) a surprise, taking your partner out on dates will keep your connection growing over time.
Not sure what to do on your night out? Try an activity date like bowling, rock climbing, or a cooking class. If you want something a bit more romantic and intimate, turn off your phones, remove any technology from your evening, light some candles, and have dedicated connection time in your bedroom.
Whether you want to be intimate or just want to discuss your lives, ambitions, and relationship, actively dating your partner will make them feel loved and appreciated.
3. 'I love having you around'
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Many people assume that just because they are in a relationship with someone, their partner knows they enjoy their company.
While this is often the case, a simple "I love having you around," followed by a heartfelt compliment like, "Just seeing your beautiful face makes my heart warm," can go a long way.
Try it out. Your partner might respond better than you thought possible.
4. 'I want to know about your day'
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One cornerstone of communication is the daily catch-up after a long day at work or running around doing errands. Asking your partner about their day often falls to the wayside, as we tend to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of our everyday schedules.
And while these conversations don't necessarily need to happen on a daily basis, showing that you genuinely care about what is going on in your partner's life is a nice gesture.
Simply ask, "How was your day?" and then listen all the way through. Listen attentively, give positive reinforcement ("That's so great that you finished that project on time. I'm not surprised at all because you're so hard-working, but still, well done!"), and help them solve their problems if they ask you to.
5. 'You bring so much to my life'
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Presumably, you're in a relationship with your partner because you like them and they bring value to your life in some way. So tell them about it!
A basic script could play out like this:
- "Because you're so (character trait), I constantly feel (what you feel) in our relationship. And I thank you for that."
- "Because you're so generous with your loving energy, I constantly feel taken care of and loved in our relationship."
- "Because you're so driven and hard-working, I constantly feel pushed forward and motivated in my own life."
If what they bring to your life isn't immediately apparent, take the time to write down a few ideas, and then commit to telling them about what you came up with. Your partner deserves to know how much you appreciate them.
6. 'I support you and your decisions'
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Your partner wants to feel like you're on their side, at least the majority of the time. That means expressing in words how you're their number one fan and biggest supporter.
Sprinkling hints of, "You were right/allowed to do that/totally in the right in that situation," throughout your conversations shows them that you're on their team.
If your partner asks if you can do them a favor, you answer, "I can do you two favors." If they say, "I felt like I had been good all week so I had a cupcake with lunch," you reply with, "Good for you. You could have had 10 if you wanted."
Be on their side. Support them in their decisions.
7. 'You're so incredibly attractive'
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You find your partner attractive on multiple levels. No matter how long you have been together, though they may know deep inside why you began a relationship with them, let them know verbally that you find them attractive.
You can compliment their physical appearance, saying something like, "You look mesmerizing, beautiful, fantastic, stunning, ridiculously cute" or "I love your hair, outfit, legs, hips, nose so much." You can also compliment their character and personality, saying, "I love how caring/nurturing/open-minded/communicative you are."
The point is that you need to remind your partner about the way you feel towards them. It will give them a boost and bring you that much closer in your relationship.
8. 'I find your choices attractive'
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Your partner's choices tie back to who they are at a deeper level. By noticing those choices and verbalizing your appreciation, they will feel truly heard and adored.
You may express how you find their choices attractive by complimenting their appearance: "Wow, your hair looks incredible! What a great choice it was to get it cut."
But a compliment about their lifestyle or character also goes a long way: "I love that you were able to get yourself up out of bed and go for a run so early in the morning. I find that incredibly attractive that you take care of yourself."
9. 'You're my priority'
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It's easy to let your partner become less of a priority on your list when you slip from a "wanting" mindset to a "having" mindset. Life moves quickly, and it's easy to neglect putting your relationship at the top of your priority list.
To prove that they are your prime concern, tell them, "I will always put you first, and if I ever forget please give me a nudge to wake me up to reality. You are the most important person in my life and I want to make sure you always feel like you are."
10. 'I appreciate you'
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Don't take your partner for granted. Again, as you move through your everyday routine, you forget to show or verbalize your appreciation for your partner. But it doesn't need to be this way, and you can let them know how cherished they are.
Tell them, "I'm so glad you're my partner. Sometimes I see you from a distance and I'm like, 'Wow, that is one amazing human.' And then I realize that I'm already dating you and I feel like the luckiest person in the world."
You could also simply say, "I really appreciate all that you do for me, for us, and for our family," to get the point across.
11. 'I'm sorry'
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It's inevitable that you're going to mess up. After all, even the strongest relationships include arguments every now and then. But there's no harm in admitting you were wrong, or offering a heartfelt apology when needed.
Make sure you're clearing the air with them when you apologize. And be sure that your "I'm sorry" includes a little context to it.
For example, if you didn't take out the garbage and your partner is upset about it, you can say something along the lines of, "I'm so sorry I forgot to take out the trash. I know how hard you work every day, and I'll make sure I don't neglect my duties again."
12. 'I love you'
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This is the most obvious, but most important, phrase you need to say to your partner more often. "I love you" really can't be said enough.
Say it upon waking, before they leave for their day, via text while you're apart after you kiss, and before you go to sleep. Say it like you mean it. Don't just go through the motions. Tell them you love them, don't just verbalize it.
Jordan Gray is a five-time Amazon best-selling author, public speaker, and relationship coach with more than a decade of practice. His work has been featured in The New York Times, BBC, Forbes, The Huffington Post, Women's Health, and The Good Men Project, among countless others.