5 Little Things Men Don't Do When They're Genuinely Falling In Love
Don’t make excuses for his behavior, ever.
Getty Images | Unsplash Have you found a wonderful man you think could be "the one," a man you've been dating for a while and now find yourself falling madly in love with? How exciting for you! It's not uncommon for women in the butterfly-filled stage of new relationships to wonder if men share the same kind of feelings. You want to believe this is true love, and he is genuinely falling for you, too, but how can you tell if he feels the same way for sure?
Is he falling in love? To gain some clarity, you can look for signs in his behavior toward you as regards what he does and what he does not.
Here are five little things men simply don’t do when they’re falling in love:
1. Not returning text messages and phone calls.
A man genuinely falling in love with you would never consider not returning your phone calls or texts, not even if his favorite band was playing at the local bar or he had to have dinner with his mother. A man in love with you wants to be in touch with you as much as he possibly can. A man in love keeps his phone close and on vibrate when the music is loud so he can answer your call or text you back. A man in love will tell you he is having dinner with his mother in advance, and he will call you after to let you know how it went. If the man in your life constantly has excuses why he isn’t keeping in touch, pay attention. His excuses may be telling you he isn’t all that into you.
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2. Needing “space.”
Men genuinely falling in love want to be with their women as much as humanly possible, and they will move heaven and earth to make that happen. If your man suddenly up and says he needs his space, it means he has some things to figure out, and chances are part of those things include the uncomfortable sensation he isn’t falling in love with you. He likely wants to break up with you but doesn’t know how. So, if your man asks for space, give him some. Lots.
3. Criticizing you.
Does your man criticize how you dress, the friends you hang out with, and how your mother calls you all the time? Does he complain about the way you clean the house, how you make his eggs or the way you park your car? If the answer is yes, run.
When a man is genuinely falling in love with you, he sincerely believes you are perfect even in your imperfections. The idea of being even remotely critical of you would never even occur to him. Furthermore, he would jump to your defense should anyone else dare suggest you are not. A man who criticizes you doesn't love you. He wants to control you. Period.
4. Hanging out with other women when he could be with you.
Sure, most people have friends of different genders, and it's entirely okay, but if your guy is choosing to spend the time he could be spending with you with other women, he probably isn't the right guy for you. As I said before, men who are genuinely falling in love want to spend as much time with their love as they can. Spending time with other women, especially women they weren’t friends with before they met you, is not something a man in true love would want to do. So, don’t buy the “we're just friends” bit. If a man chooses to spend time with another woman when he could spend time with you, it's time to move on.
5. Not making you a priority in his life.
I have a wonderful man and have never felt a moment of insecurity about the love he has for me because he makes me a priority, and it shows. He has a job, a sick mother, four kids, many friends, and a generally busy, hectic life with little time left for sleep or play. Regardless of this, he always makes me the priority in his life. Always.
Making me a priority doesn’t mean he chooses me over his kids, mother, or job. Rather, he considers me when making decisions about these other obligations.
If he knows he has to watch his boys’ games this week, he will be very clear with me about when they are and what his time commitment will be, and if that changes, he will tell me. If he has to have dinner with his mother, he will talk to me about my schedule so he can try to see her when I am busy. If he is exhausted from work, he still makes the effort to let me know how beautiful I am and how happy I make him.
Does the man in your life make you a priority in his? Does he consider your needs and feelings first, before his other obligations? If he does, hold on tight. He is a keeper.
When a man is genuinely falling in love, it’s quite easy to tell. A man who is in love worships the woman he is with. He longs to be with her every minute and hangs on every word she says. He is never critical, and he makes her a priority as much as possible. If you're in a relationship with a guy like that, hurray! You deserve it! Don’t let him go.
If your man doesn’t do these things — if he doesn’t treat you like a queen — don’t kid yourself, as we women often do. Don’t make excuses for his behavior, telling yourself if you just hold on he will eventually love you because he won’t. Ever. Move on and find someone who treats you like the queen you are! He is out there waiting for you, I promise.
Mitzi Bockmann is an NYC-based Certified Life Coach and mental health advocate who works exclusively with women to help them be all they want to be. Mitzi's bylines have appeared in The Good Men Project, MSN, PopSugar, Prevention, Huffington Post, and Psych Central, among many others.