4 Little Signs That Confirm You've Found The One, According To Psychology
What does it take to have a healthy and happy relationship?
ilbusca | Canva No matter how in love you are in your relationship, you've probably asked yourself at a certain point, if the person you've been dating is the one for you. Sadly, figuring out if you've found your perfect match is difficult because there is no universal rule when choosing marital partners.
Everyone is looking for love and healthy relationships. A 2010 poll carried out by the Pew Research Center found that most respondents state love as the primary reason to get married.
Other factors influencing the decision to marry were commitment, companionship, financial stability, and having children. While most people marry to stay together until death do them part, the fact is that 40 to 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce. Although plenty of relationship advice is within your reach, it's not one size fits all.
Here are four signs that you've found the one, according to psychology:
1. You're satisfied in your relationship
According to Kira Asatryan, a relationship coach and author of Stop Being Lonely: Three Simple Steps to Developing Healthy and Happy Relationships, high levels of relationship satisfaction are good indicators that all is going well within your partnership. After working with numerous couples, Asatryan concluded that relationship satisfaction meant both partners were getting their needs met within their relationship.
To help you assess your levels of satisfaction in your relationship, she offered four tips to help you along the way:
- Break down your satisfaction levels into different parts such as intimacy, emotional closeness, communication, and finances. If you are satisfied with most or all of these aspects of your relationships, there is no reason for you to have any doubt.
- Compare your level of satisfaction in this relationship in comparison with your previous relationship.
- Determine if you can easily imagine being more satisfied in different circumstances than you are now.
- Determine if you have a lingering feeling of dissatisfaction but without knowing the root cause.
2. Your partner is responsive to you
Another good indicator that you are in a relationship with the right person is that they are highly responsive to you and vice versa. As explained in a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, the quality of a relationship depends on the belief that your partner understands, values, and supports important aspects of your personality.
Furthermore, people who perceive their partners as being responsive to their personality and needs feel much more satisfied, closer, and committed to such relationships, according to a study conducted by researchers from the University of Rochester.
If you feel that your partner supports your life goals and shows compassion towards you, then this is a good sign that you are in a healthy relationship. However, do take note that emphatic responsiveness needs to come from both sides of the relationship.
3. You've lasted past the initial infatuation phase
When you are head over heels in love, it is normal to feel like you want to spend the rest of your life with this person. Scientists, on the other hand, believe we shouldn't lose all rational thinking when committing to a relationship. As far as neurobiology is concerned, our feelings of infatuation at the start of a new relationship are nothing more than dopaminergic surges in the brain observed in most species of the animal kingdom.
On the brighter side, attraction and satisfaction early are definitive indicators that your relationship is based on solid grounds. However, once this initial euphoria of a new relationship ends which usually happens after 12 months, there is a chance for true commitment to take place. According to Thomas R. Lee, Ph.D. from the Department of Family and Human Development at Utah State University, the longer your acquaintance, the better the odds of your relationship becoming a lifelong commitment.
4. You're both adept at handling conflict
Mark Banschick, M.D., psychiatrist, and author of The Intelligent Divorce, explains that your home life tells a lot about the quality of your relationship. Do you walk on eggshells around your partner or are you completely relaxed in his or her presence? Partners who initiate conflict, for no reason, may not be a good choice for marital life.
Things will become even more complicated when children and shared finances are involved. He also suggests you take a good look at how the two of you handle conflict. Do you stuff your feelings and bear grudges, or do you discuss your issues and reach an equilibrium? If you feel like you are in a limbo of never-ending conflicts, it may be a sign that the two of you need counseling or maybe even need to part ways.
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Knowing your significant other is something you will know once you've reached good insight into both the state of your relationship and your psychology. Before big choices are made such as moving in together, getting married, or even starting a family, you need to develop an understanding of what relationships are all about that is beyond emotional states.
A good way is to seek counseling to discuss your expectations about your future together and have any unresolved issues and doubts cleared with the help of a third party.
Donna Begg is an expert editor, researcher, and analyst affiliated with Consumer Health Digest, where she works with beauty and health experts.