10 Kind Habits Of A Husband Who Creates A 'Soft Life' For Their Wife
Healthy relationships are characterized not just by love, but by genuine support.
Ground Picture | Shutterstock Many women struggle to cultivate healthy relationships with a partner who centers a "soft" lifestyle, where they can lean into their authenticity and femininity in a safe and secure environment. Whether it's lacking emotional intelligence or insecurity, many men struggle to provide this kind of security for women, unable to effectively communicate or even support themselves.
However, there are some kind habits of a husband who creates a soft life for their wife, and while they might be relatively rare, especially in the modern dating landscape, they are achievable if you're looking in the right places.
Here are 10 kind habits of a husband who creates a 'soft life' for their wife
1. They do chores and simple favors without being asked
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The key to a husband who creates a soft life in marriage for his wife is supportiveness — not necessarily in a financial sense, but an emotional one. They take burdens off their partner's shoulders, instead of becoming one. When there's conflict or something weighing on their relationship, he makes space for an open discussion to relieve stress and anxiety from her life.
When she's struggled at work or had a hard day, he does a chore that she doesn't like. It's a partnership — he's not pleaded with her to clean a dish or do the laundry. He's self-assured enough to understand that, despite societal traditions and toxic expectations, a marriage will never be ruled by gendered regulations or a "fair 50/50" split.
The minuscule things in life like chores, filling up the gas tank, or scheduling a date don't fuel resentment in these marriages, because they're always prioritized by partners that want to focus on loving, supporting, and enjoying life with their loved one.
2. They're committed to open communication
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Active, honest, and open communication is necessary to a healthy relationship, according to research from the Journal of Marriage and Family, as it often has the power to both add value and deteriorate a marriage, depending on how it's prioritized by partners.
Husbands who affirm their wives in asking for and advocating for what they need help to instill this communicative habit into their marriage. While many women experience shame from their partners in asking for "too much," women living a "soft life" with their husbands are always celebrated for communicating it.
When a partner is willing to emotionally open up, they don't leave room for misunderstandings or resentment to grow, promoting and drawing out the sensitivity and emotional intelligence of their partners. That's exactly why it's one of the kind habits of a husband who creates a soft life for their wife, as it cultivates a safe space for conflict, disagreements, love, and growth to simultaneously reside.
3. They prioritize making space for their wife's true identity
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Whether their wife wants to channel their own femininity or get in touch with herself through self-care, kind-hearted husbands prioritize making and protecting that space for her. According to therapist Ashley Hudson, that's the key to a healthy relationship: acknowledging your partner's emotional needs and ensuring they feel secure.
Of course, every couple looks different and every partner will want uniquely different things, but the kind habits of a husband who creates a soft life for their wife will always revolve around prioritizing comfort, safety, and security. Sometimes, that means giving her space. On other occasions, it means surprising her with an entirely planned date night.
They figure out what their partner needs to be their most authentic and self-assured self and then they continuously prioritize those things — acknowledging, making space for, and celebrating that identity.
4. They consider the 'small things' in life
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From back rubs, to ensuring their partner is nourished, and surprising them on hard days, kind-hearted husbands aren't always focused on the big-picture, and it's surprisingly healthy. They're emotionally intuitive to what their partner is feeling, in part because they're simply listening.
This kind of emotional security, where you're not always forced to directly communicate when you're struggling, can help to relieve the burden of stress in relationships. Your partner can read you and focus on the smallest details in your life, supporting you when you might not even have the words to unpack your feelings.
5. They celebrate the soft, emotional, and intuitive parts of their wife
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Many women struggle to embody a "soft life" in their marriages because they don't feel safe enough to be vulnerable, heard, and supported by their partners in life. Whether their husband is emotionally distant or unable to communicate his own feelings, these women are forced to "harden themselves" to be approachable and worthy of attention in the eyes of their husbands.
It's the reason so many partners become resentful in their marriages — they don't feel heard or prioritized, leading to an internal and interpersonal distance that's overwhelmingly isolating. Husbands who create a secure and soft life for their wives aren't informed by misguided societal views of male vulnerability; instead, they create spaces to open up, allowing their partners to become their truest selves without judgment or fear.
6. They plan date nights and alone time
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Especially for women who tend to feel pressured into making plans, decisions, and schedules for their partners and families, a husband who takes the initiative to do it without asking can be incredibly refreshing in relationships. Both partners ensure that they're not making unnecessary sacrifices for the sake of the other, equally dedicated to prioritizing space for the other to relax, grow, and feel secure.
Data from Pew Research Center argues that it's not just time and energy that women are pressured into sacrificing at higher rates than their male partners, it's also major life decisions and planning. Many mothers and wives feel more pressure to put their careers "on hold" for the sake of their marriages and families, while their husbands refuse to plan a single date night.
Making occasional sacrifices is important, as relationships are all about compromise at the end of the day. A husband who is secure enough to take on the responsibilities, like planning dates or doing chores, that women are socially pressured into doing, can help to cultivate a softer and more secure life for their marriage to flourish.
7. They celebrate their wife's platonic relationships
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Committed to crafting a soft, nurturing, and supportive "home base" for his wife, a healthy husband will ensure that his wife's relationships with her friends and family are also equally prioritized and celebrated. Husbands committed to this lifestyle are secure — from communicating their feelings to creating healthy space with their wives, they're never going to force ultimatums against friendship.
In any relationship, having other relationships and a healthy inner circle of support is incredibly important, according to licensed professional counselor Jodi Clarke. They not only help you to craft a healthy perspective on your partner, they also promote a sense of community that helps craft identity and promote personal growth.
8. They go to therapy
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Secure and confident men are often direct products of their environment. If they had a safe, loving, and communicative home growing up, they're going to be healthier partners in a committed relationship, according to research from the European Journal of Trauma and Dissociation.
If they were less fortunate in their childhood or suffered with unresolved trauma into adulthood, therapy can be just as influential for instilling healthy habits and helping men to develop secure self-esteem. It helps to support open communication and emotional intelligence in ways that men often struggle to maintain in their male friendships, for a variety of societal and interpersonal reasons.
9. They ask for permission before sharing advice
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Whether it's a friendship or a romantic relationship, secure and confident men aren't afraid to express their opinions and advice, but only when it's appropriate. Most of us are only yearning for someone to listen to our problems, rather than suggest solutions, and supportive husbands are fully aware of that.
Despite being committed to learning about their partner, supporting them through struggles, and generally making their lives easier, they don't feel a sense of superiority over their wives simply for knowing them well. Their advice isn't "the key" to making their wife's life better; in fact, they know they're fully capable of making decisions and navigating difficult situations themselves.
10. They share their own needs and wants
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Emotional intelligence is a two-way street, especially in marriages and committed relationships. While husbands who create "soft lives" for their wives are often committed to ensuring they have a peace of mind, safe spaces to be vulnerable, and their emotional needs met, the health of this relationship is also dependent on their ability to share their own.
Partners who feel fully loved and supported will be able to love and support their partner more effectively. They feel fulfilled, so they have extra time, energy, and emotional space to invest in their partner and relationship. It's not just open communication, it's small favors, shared glances, and experiences together that promote vulnerability and love.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a news and entertainment writer at YourTango who focuses on health and wellness, social policy, and human interest stories.