4 Immediate Relationship Deal-Breakers For Men (That Most Women Don't Pick Up On)
The instant ways a man knows you are not the one.
Prostock-studio | Canva We often assume men don't obsess over the details in a relationship, but most guys will tell you they do notice the little things, from the kind of cereal you prefer to the way your voice goes up an octave when you get into an argument. So what are the non-negotiable traits most men take into consideration when choosing a mate?
Here are 4 immediate relationship deal-breakers for men that most women don't pick up on:
1. She talks down to the food service staff
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"I was dating this woman who seemed like a cool girl, except that when we'd go out to this diner near my apartment, she was always rude to the restaurant serving staff. When she went to the bathroom I'd apologize for her behavior and sometimes slip a few extra bucks onto the table. It wasn't long before I ended things. If you don't have respect for people who work on their feet all day, you're not going to be my girlfriend. I used to be a bartender so I know how it is." —Keith, 31
Research from Louisiana State University on relational red flags shows how rude behavior toward customer service staff is one of the easiest ways to turn off an emotionally mature date. This is true for any gender.
2. She's manipulative
"I was dating this woman who withheld intimacy, claiming it was because of her religion. Then if she wanted something, she'd be all over me. Now, I'm not afraid to say that intimacy is a non-negotiable part of a relationship." —Hany, 29
Many men see intimacy as the glue to hold a relationship together, as supported by a study on intimacy, desire, and satisfaction of partnered men. Authentic intimacy hits way differently than intimacy used for manipulation and guys pick up on this pretty quickly.
3. She wants kids
"I know that my plans for the future don't include having kids. I've purposefully avoided dating beautiful women who I knew were interested in me because I knew they wanted to have children. Most women won't change their minds on this–and neither will I." —Robert, 40
As evidenced by the Journal of Research in Personality, is critical to be on the same page about life goals and paths. If you have opposing views on significant life goals, the relationship is not worth the time.
4. She wants couples therapy before being a couple
"There's one sentence I never want to hear from someone I've just started dating: We should go to couples therapy. If it's not working, move on." —Ben, 28
Therapy is often entered by couples seeking to save a once-gratifying relationship. If the relationship starts in need of therapy, many men will see this as a no-win situation and figure they are better off single.
A lot of men in the dating pool have a short list of deal breakers. These are usually the guys who know what they want and have done the self-work to be ready to grow and learn in a loving bond. The dealbreakers for them are to make sure you are both ready and compatible enough to invest time and effort in building a life together.
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