Husband Taken Aback By His Data Scientist Wife’s Reason For Marrying Him — ’Shouldn’t It Be More Than That?’
He expected a more sentimental answer.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock Most hopeless romantics would agree that love defies reason and matters of the heart should be led with emotion, not practicality. At least, that's what the standard rom-com has taught us.
Feeling sentimental, a man asked his wife why she chose to marry him. The answer he got was definitely not what he expected.
He admitted on Reddit that he wanted to hear how much she loves him; however, that's not the response that he got and it's left him a bit upset.
The husband was taken aback by his data scientist wife's reason for marrying him.
"My wife is a very practical person and not really 'girly,'" he wrote. "I don’t know how to explain it other than she sees everything as a cost-benefit analysis and doesn’t seem to take much of her own preferences into account if she thinks something is objectively better."
He shared that her practicality is one of the things that he loves about her. He appreciates her ability to approach life with a focus on logic and not feelings.
Drazen Zigic | Shutterstock
However, during a conversation about their marriage, he realized that his wife's practicality might not be as amazing as he once thought.
He asked her why she married him, thinking it would initiate a discussion about their love and relationship, but the response she gave was entirely unexpected.
When asked why she married him, his wife simply responded, "Because you asked."
He then asked what made her say yes when he proposed.
"She said, 'because I trust your judgment,'" the man recounted. "I was kind of taken aback and asked her what she meant."
His wife explained that while she loves him, she "would never marry someone based on love alone." She doesn't believe that love is a strong enough reason to commit to marriage, particularly because she once loved an "idiot" who "would have ruined her life" had she married him.
For her, love and marriage are not the same thing.
"She said she trusts me to make decisions that would benefit us and our goals," he continued, "and marriage is like trusting someone with your life and everything you have built."
Despite previously loving her practical attitude, the man is a bit offended by his wife's reasoning.
"I guess I should be flattered but it only seems like she picked me because I'm a logical choice," he wrote. "Shouldn’t it be more than that? That’s what is bothering me. But I also know she sincerely thinks it’s a huge compliment."
Sometimes love isn't enough to keep a marriage afloat.
Two people can be very much in love and still not work out. That's evidenced by the fact that 43% of first marriages don't stand the test of time. But, as the man's wife pointed out, trust and shared goals are a great foundation for a relationship.
There's nothing wrong with choosing someone who makes you feel secure and safe in the future that you're building with them.
This doesn't mean that his analytically focused wife isn't in love with him or that she doesn't have a deep sense of love for their relationship. In fact, she did say that she loves him.
Ultimately, marriage is a big risk, especially for women. It makes sense that someone so logical would consider the relationship in totality rather than being clouded by love.
Trust, shared goals and values, and commitment can go a long way.
Many Redditors in the comments section acknowledged that while his wife's testimony wasn't meant to hurt his feelings, it's natural for him to yearn for something more sentimental.
"Share your feelings with her. Let her know that while you appreciate her practical reasons, you also want to feel that emotional connection in your marriage," one Reddit user suggested. "Open communication can bridge the gap between your differing perspectives on love and commitment."
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.