How To Make A Man Obsessed With You With 6 Tricks
You'll be on his mind all the time.
Brian Lawson / Unsplash When it comes to powers of attraction, there’s one thing women love more than anything else: being on a man’s mind and making him obsessed.
Sure, you could entrance him with your body, offer him his favorite drink and meal, and keep him in your bed for a few hours, but being on his mind is more powerful than anything you could ever do while face-to-face.
Being on his mind means he’s thinking of you every minute and every second. Being on his mind means he’s distracted, imagining being with you, and that he’s all yours. And although that might happen on its own, you can speed up the process by using a few subtle techniques to make a man obsessed.
Here's how to make a man obsessed with you and stay on his mind 24/7
1. Start with being interesting
You won’t be interesting to everyone, but there’s a way to improve your conversational powers with those who do find you interesting. The secret to being a good conversationalist is to be a good listener.
Many may think that being in conversation is about you being heard, being loud, or being right — and you could lose several friendships because of this attitude. Instead, learn to listen. It's a skill that can be learned from "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" by Stephen Covey. It's the kind of book you read regularly, as there’s always new information to glean from it.
So, if you want a man to be obsessed with you and be constantly on his mind, first you need to listen to him. Ask questions about his interests, his feelings and his desires.
Glean as much information as you can about the things that turn him on, both physically and intellectually. With that information in hand, you can then develop conversations about what he enjoys talking about, which will make him simply love being in your company.
That doesn't mean you need to sacrifice your interests, of course. Ideally, you want to find topics that interest you both. It needs to be fun for you too, and it’s easier to keep conversations going if you have a genuine interest in the subjects you discuss.
2. Be attentive to his interests
The next step of getting a man to be obsessed with you is determining your common interests. Does he enjoy playing baseball, while you're a fan of a specific athlete in the MLB? Does he prefer to stay in on the weekends, just like you avoid going out on the town?
These are just surface-level commonalities you can discover between the two of you. But the point is to make sure you not only have interests that are shared, but that you're capable of appreciating his interests, even if they're not something you like.
For example, let's say he enjoys traveling, while you're terrified to be on a plane. While you probably won't accompany him on a trip around the world, instead opting for travel via train or car, by encouraging him to embrace his wanderlust, you're getting his attention in an entirely different way.
3. Hook him in
You’ve caught his interest. He listens to you, responds to you, and shares things about himself more easily. He trusts you and feels comfortable around you. That’s great! Now you can move on to the next step.
Hooking him in is easy if you already have his attention. You just need to push it a little further with a little flirting. While that doesn't mean sending him photos of you scantily-clad, it means tapping into his fantasies by sending him a titillating text. Always remember to be yourself, of course.
If you’re not the type to be forward with your desires, you can drop subtle hints. Or, if you're comfortable getting more aggressive, you'll have no problem saying directly how badly you want him, right this very minute.
Photo: Mikhail Nilov / Pexels
4. Follow his lead
Once you’ve opened the conversation via text message, follow where his thoughts lead. Is he asking for more details? Men are usually more visual, so bring out the descriptive words.
Some men are satisfied with simply being talked to, but many like to participate more. For each action he describes, respond with something that brings up the heat. Most of all, tell him — and show him — how much you desire him.
People like to feel wanted. There's no better aphrodisiac than feeling someone’s need for you. How they touch you. How they look at you. How they talk to you. How they kiss you. So think about the ways you like to show your desire. With a sultry kiss? With candles and his favorite meal?
He’ll tell you through hints when you’re actually hooking up or when you’re flirting via text how he likes to be teased. Keep these things in mind and play with them.
5. Show another side of yourself
While making a man obsessed with you does involve visuals and making him feel attractive, men want to feel understood as well. That means helping him open up to you by being a little vulnerable yourself.
It isn't easy to be vulnerable, especially if most of your conversation has been through flirty texting. But he should see that you have depth to your personality, and are much more than your physical appearance or a few sultry messages.
Showing another side to yourself not only means being vulnerable, but revealing your amazing qualities, such as your reliability, your confidence, your thoughtfulness, and your spontaneity and humor. Of course, you don't want to reveal too much of yourself to maintain some mystery; instead, give him bits and pieces of the full story.
That mysteriousness you're showing him will make him want to get to know you better and in no time he will be begging to see you.
6. Make yourself 'top of mind'
There’s a principle in marketing called top-of-mind awareness, which is a way of positioning your brand or company as the first one that comes to mind whenever someone thinks about a certain product or service. You accomplish this through strategies such as establishing expertise, sending regular reminders, and just being generally great.
And you can totally do that with relationships. When you keep yourself top of mind when it comes to his heart and mind, it means that whenever he thinks about physical and emotional intimacy, he thinks of you.
To make yourself "top of mind," you not only want to communicate regularly, but build an emotional connection along the way. Whether it be through physical touch when you're together in person, making him feel supported and special, or surprising him with something thoughtful, these are all things that will keep you on his mind.
Anabelle Bernard Fournier is a freelance writer and researcher, focusing her efforts on various topics including reproductive health, medical ethics, and health care. Her work has appeared on Verywell Mind, StyleCaster, Thought Catalog, The Spruce, Medium, SheKnows, and MamaMia, among others.