How To Know If You Should Fight For Your Relationship (Or Move On)
Knowing whether it's time to leave or if there is still enough worth fighting for can be extremely complicated.
fizkes / Shutterstock We're often told that being in a relationship means fighting for it every day, and that this struggle is what keeps it going. But when does fighting for your relationship become too much?
Relationship expert Mark Groves dives into when you should fight for your relationship and when it might be time to move on.
How To Know If You Should Fight For Your Relationship Or Move On
In any relationship, there comes a time when you need to fight for it. Yes, there are times when you'll need to grit your teeth and weather the storm together.
However, there are moments when fighting for your relationship becomes meaningless. And this happens when you're the only one ever fighting.
"If your pattern is to be the one who's always doing it, the healing is to say you know what? I don't want to do that anymore," says Groves.
But this doesn't mean you're selfish or inconsiderate. Rather, it means you're beginning to recognize your worth.
The reality is, that being the one to always fight for your relationship is both heartbreaking and frustrating. And taking a step back to say enough is enough is necessary at times.
Groves continues, "Look, actually, if I truly mattered, I'd stop trying to fight for everything."
But as Groves reminds us, we're the ones who choose our partners. And if we keep dating people who never show up for us, then it's on us to do better.
If you struggle with this, then it's likely because you have a hard time receiving love, says Groves.
And learning to accept love is one of the first steps to getting the love you deserve. But how do we get there?
How To Receive Love From Others
A Beautiful Soul Holistic Counseling offers some tips on how to be more open to receiving love from others.
1. Understand your vulnerability
When we're in love, we're likely to feel vulnerable. After all, receiving real love can be uncomfortable as it makes us vulnerable.
This is why we go for the same types of people. They're familiar and by default, don't pose a threat to us.
But as A Beautiful Soil Holistic Counseling writes, "Love makes us very vulnerable but if we understand our vulnerable limits, we can help manage this vulnerability while also accepting love.
2. List your fears
If you've been through trauma, accepting love can be tough. You might find yourself holding back because of the fears your trauma has left you with.
Which is why you need to learn to address those fears head-on. Write down what you fear most and go through the reasons you fear those things.
Knowing your fears can help you steer clear of those triggers, or at the least make it easier to deal with them when they come up.
It's hard to know if you deserve better when you've never seen what real love looks like. And when you're the only one trying in a relationship, breaking that cycle can feel impossible.
But standing up for yourself is key to finding a love that works for you. And by moving on from toxic relationships and working on your own healing, you can open yourself up to the love you truly deserve.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, and family topics.