How To Know When A Guy 'Likes You, Likes You' — According To 9 Millennial Men
It's not as complicated as they might have you believe. No, really.
People Images: Yuri Arcurs, BreakingTheWalls | Canvas Pro Yes, it's true. If a guy really likes you, you won't have to go digging for hardcore clues to figure it out. There will be subtle differences in his behavior that set him apart from men who just aren't interested or are using you. But still, when trying to figure out his true feelings, many women tend to call their best girlfriends for advice, when we really should be asking our guy friends to get the "male POV."
So I asked nine millennial men what they do and how they act when they genuinely like a girl. Or, in the words of Arnold, via Hey Arnold! ... when they "like you, like you."
Here's how to know when a guy likes you, according to nine millennial men:
1. A man who likes you will make lots of small talk that leads to flirting
"Depends on the guy. Some get extra thirsty and do too much and get annoying. Some flirt, some are blunt and mannish. Me personally, I make small talk and try to figure out the type of girl she is and see where her mind is at. Then it'll evolve to flirting, but I like to build comfort and kind of friendship. Never get over aggressive or come on too strong." —Jacob, 32
2. Guys will try to make you laugh and secretly check up on you
"We try to make her laugh and do little things like constantly check up on her two to three times throughout the day to let her know we're thinking about her. Little subtle stuff." — Sam, 32
3. They give you undivided attention
"Show a lot more attention." —Kevin, 33
4. A man who likes you will go above and beyond just because, without any games
"I don't really have any tactics. I've never really tried to get someone's attention. Since adulthood, I've always just told someone when I liked them and I'd only focus on keeping and holding their attention and growing closer.
"From just making myself available to them and making the effort to spend time with them to the small things to special occasions to going above and beyond just because. But I'm kind of a bad person to ask, I've never really been on the dating scene. I've only had two actual girlfriends and both relationships just happened organically." —Dey'Shawn, 30
5. You will be a big part of his day
"They go the extra mile to make sure you're a part of their day. I mean I really don't know how to answer — buying flowers, good morning text — the list goes on." —Tory, 34
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6. Guys who like you will actually pay attention during conversations
"They make meaningless conversation randomly just to be engaged in conversation with you and when they do so, they seem totally present." —Michael, 30
7. You'll get constant phone calls and flirty little nicknames
"Hmmmmm. Well, he texts and calls you consistently, calls u names like punk and big head, always finds a way to talk to you. Asks you questions about your past trying to get to know you. Also, asking about your favorite things to do and eat." —Brandon, 33
8. His body language clues will be strong if he really likes you
"So the first thing I can for sure say is body language. If he's more open and comfortable around you, he fasho digging you. Like turning his whole body towards you when talking and making constant eye contact are some signs. Acting interested in the things you're interested in (even if he really doesn't care about it).
"Noticing subtle things, like hair color or hair style change, new shoes, etc. You're gonna think you're Eddie Murphy reincarnated because he's gonna laugh at all your wacky jokes lol. Even the ones that aren't funny. Just overall being way more attentive." —Clay, 32
9. He will shower you with sweet surprises
"Pay attention to every little detail. take a mental note, and randomly surprise her with her favorite candy, flowers, dinner, movie, etc. Take a genuine investment in her life, support her goals and aspirations. Make it clear that you aren't just trying to see how long before you get in her pants." —Shuntaye, 33
With nine different men and nine different responses, there's one big takeaway, ladies, and it's this:
He will go out of his way to make an effort — that includes time with you, time to talk to you, and time to get to know you.
So don't waste your time if he's not doing that. Put down the phone, stop texting your friends asking for advice, and move on. Someone who "likes you, likes you" might be your soulmate waiting.
Kiarra Sylvester, MEd, is a freelance writer, blogger, and the founder of Black Girl Book Collective.