7 Healthy Boundaries To Set In Your Relationship Immediately
How to make your relationship as healthy as it can get.
humanmade | Canva Setting boundaries is an important part of establishing your identity in a relationship. It's important for your mental health and well-being. There are all kinds of boundaries. They range from physical, emotional, social, and career. Boundaries mean finding the balance in your relationship, as well as compromise with your partner. Healthy boundaries in a relationship are good for your mental health.
Here are 7 healthy boundaries in a relationship to set immediately:
1. Have self-respect.
This is where it all begins. It starts with you feeling good about yourself. This will help you set boundaries that you will feel good about.
2. Stay away from the "pleasing trap."
This is an easy one to get stuck in: You want to please your partner. You may feel you need to do this so your partner will not reject you. When you are stuck in the pleasing trap, you will eventually feel contempt. Meaning, you begin to feel better than your partner at a core level, which leads to a lack of respect. This can ruin a relationship.
3. Balance the power in the relationship.
When one person is in charge of making all of the important decisions, it will lead to burnout on both sides. You will not feel heard. This is another way contempt will build. This also doesn't help build trust.
4. Stop saying "yes" when you mean "no."
You may feel you have to say yes. You may feel you are the only one that can do the job the "right" way. This will also lead to burnout. When you start to say no, you're saying yes to yourself.
5. Set aside time for yourself.
Make sure you have time for yourself each day. It can start with 10 minutes a day. Have a cup of coffee in the morning and write in your journal. Take a mental health day. This is when you set the entire day aside for yourself. You can go to a hotel and relax by the pool, or go for a hike. Make sure it is something that brings you joy.
6. Ask for help when you need it.
You aren't a superhero, and you shouldn't be with someone that expects you to be. Don't let your pride get in the way. If you need an extra hand in the kitchen, ask for it. You will feel better when you do this.
7. Stop feeling guilty.
Setting boundaries is one of the best things you can do for your mental health. You have been taught to put others first — but this comes with a cost. Meaning, your mental health will eventually suffer. It's true, you can't take care of anyone else until you have taken care of yourself. So, stop feeling guilty about it, and make yourself a priority. Just as it is important for you to set boundaries, you must respect your partner's boundaries. This will help balance your relationship, which is what we all want. You can create the happy and successful relationship you have always wanted.
Lianne Avila is a licensed marriage and family therapist with a practice in San Mateo, CA. Her work has been featured in Psych Central, BRIDES, and Prevention.