11 Underrated Habits Of Happy Couples Who (Almost) Never Get Bored Of Each Other
Use the chemistry of connection to build a life together.
Shvets | Pexels In the beginning, couples embrace the new adventures their relationships bring. But as they settle into a steady kind of love, their adventurous nature falls into sleep mode, where both partners invest less energy in the relationship as they develop predictable rituals and routines.
This process, referred to as "habituation" in Neurobiology of Learning and Memory Journal, often leads to feeling taken for granted, or resentment of predictability. Too much predictability leads to indifference, apathy, and annoyance.
The question isn't whether boredom will show up in your relationship — eventually, it will! it's about how the two of you will deal with it so it doesn't take over.
11 fun and romantic things to do with your partner when you get bored
1. Replicate your favorite early dates
Oneinchpunch va Shutterstock
Sit down, take a moment to revisit the memories of your favorite dates together. Do you remember your first date: heart racing, clammy hands, perfect hair, the deodorant, the butterflies, and the excitement? It can be another ‘first date,’ but unlike the first one, this one will be delightful.
Applying information from a study on the effects of relationship nostalgia on relationship satisfaction published in The Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, this date will remind you of all the good times you have shared and the great qualities you saw in each other.
What were you wearing when you met? What were the first words you spoke to each other? Where was your first date? Recreate your first date and reconnect with your partner.
2. Watch something together and talk about it after
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A via Shutterstock
Sure, you watch TV and movies together. But what we are talking about is just the two of you: no kids, no gadgets, no sitting far apart. So, hold hands, snuggle, and feel yourselves getting closer.
In the past, many households had only one TV and not that many shows to choose from. Couples often bonded in the living room, watching shows together. Nowadays, Television has become a solo activity. You will realize that you do not always sit in the same room with your partner to watch anything, which is contrary to the results of a study published in the Journal of Contemporary Family Therapy showing "couples who spend a larger proportion of their time together talking reported greater satisfaction."
Find a show or a movie that appeals to both of you and watch it together. You will not only be spending some time together, but you will have something new to talk about. Bonus points if you can watch the show live, which will enforce a specific time to hang out together each week.
3. Take up a new hobby together
Nuva Frames via Shutterstock
Hobbies and interests change as your relationship develops. Try to find something that interests both of you. Hobbies enable your partner to understand you better and give both of you a cause for celebration.
- Take a photography class together and then take alluring pictures of each other
- Take a cooking class and then invite your friends over for a meal you have not cooked before
- Take up biking or hiking together and explore the area near where you live
- Learn a new language.
Research published by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology shows that learning new things together as a couple increases the excitement in the relationship.
Remember, it does not matter what new activity you pursue. All that matters is that you pursue it together and have fun while doing it. Enjoying new hobbies is exciting, which is an excellent antidote to boredom because you know what? It is impossible to be bored when you are excited.
4. Play a game
Chay_Tee via Shutterstock
Cureus Journal of Medical Science published a study showing how games are fun and a great stress reliever.
But that doesn't necessarily mean you have to play a game of cards or a board game.
Simple conversation starters can lead to fun in places and times where a more formal game may not be appropriate.
Here are a few classic examples of games to try playing together:
- Would You Rather: The game requires that you ask a question that starts with ‘Would you rather ...’ followed by a hypothetical scenario. The scenarios that you give must be creative to make the game fun. This game is an excellent way of bonding while getting to know your partner a little bit better.
- Song Lyrics: This is a great game for music lovers. One partner will quote lines from a song, and the other will guess the song the lyrics are from. The game could extend to classic lines from movies. You can make the game exciting by formulating a punishment for wrong guesses.
Try a few conversation starters like these to help liven things up:
- "Which celebrity’s dress sense do you think I should have a go at copying?"
- "Which outfit of mine do you desperately wish I’d never bought?"
- "What music from your childhood do you want our children to listen to?"
5. Get out of your comfort zone
Monkey Business Images
One cause of boredom is you have both gotten too comfortable. Every once in a while, broaden your experiences by doing something scary.
You could skydive on a random Saturday morning or hike that cliff that nauseates you by just looking at it. Remember, you do not have to be in actual danger, you just have to nudge yourselves out of your comfort zone.
Just do something together. The crazier the activity, the better. You will get a hike of adrenaline and inject a new breath into your relationship.
6. Try something new and highly physical
Drazen Zigic
Whether it's mountain biking, hang gliding, or indoor skydiving, find something physical to do together that is a little bit scary. A Neuron Journal publication shows how overcoming some initial fear will release all sorts of happy chemicals in your brain and build resilience. Overcoming that anxiety together grows your bond.
It's also likely all those new brain chemicals will ignite sparks when you're back home (and alone!), which is always great for relationships!
Whatever it is you do for physical activity, do something new or different every once in a while!
7. Hire a trainer and do hard work-outs together
Lordn via Shutterstock
Getting stronger and healthier will not only help extend your chances for a long life together, but it can also grow your bond through relational support as evidenced in research in Journal of Current Opinion in Psychology. After all, a new trainer is probably going to kick your butt. Struggling through such a tough new challenge is always good for a couple! In addition, it gives you something fun and new to talk about. You can also take those skills and apply them at home with just a few dumbbells and an exercise mat, coaching one another.
If a trainer is financially off-the-table, look into a group fitness class that includes weight training, which is shown to help boost mood.
8. Explore a cute new-to-you town together
Zamrznuti Tonovi via Shutterstock
Take a little drive together and find a cute little downtown — or a new area of your big city — to explore together. Pop into some locally-owned businesses and take the time to browse. Try a new local cafe or restaurant. Sit outside if the weather allows and people-watch.
Changing routine is so good for our emotional health and promotes new emotional growth through neuroplasticity, as discussed in an article by Megan Call of the University of Utah. Seeing new things, meeting new people, and visiting new locales will also give you new things to talk about and help you create new memories together — it's like a little vacation that doesn't have to cost more than a few bucks!
9. Make dinner or lunch plans with someone new
Gorodenkoff via Shutterstock
Invite a new couple out for lunch or dinner and simply get to know one another! If dinners out aren't your thing, invite them over for a game night or a barbecue. The idea is to mix up your routine, meet new people, and find new things to talk about. Even if it goes disastrously, you'll have that story to tell together!
10. Volunteer together
Dragana Gordic via Shutterstock
Even if you two already spend time helping the community or working for causes together, you can always find something new.
Just make sure you can commit as much time as whatever charity or organization you're helping requests. For instance, local food pantries often ask for a weekly or monthly commitment of your time — but this is great for couples!
Not only are you adding variety to your schedule, but you're also committed to honoring time doing something together. In doing this, you'll probably meet new people, learn new skills, and grow your bond in helping others, as demonstrated by research in Voluntas: International Journal of Voluntary and Nonprofit Organizations.
11. Make TikToks or Reels together
ViDI Studio via Shutterstock
Not everyone wants such a public life, but if you're the type who is down to try anything once, give it a shot! Find a couple doing a couples activity on social media and replicate it. Some couples ask each other "truth or dare" questions on camera, and others learn silly dances while others just discuss a popular topic. While it sounds silly, it's another project that can add variety to your life, and you'll probably have fun doing it!
Remember, the biggest cause of boredom in relationships is routine.
In a landmark study led by Arthur Aron at Stony Brook University, 53 married couples were randomly assigned to engage in activities labeled either "new and excited" or "pleasant but routine" for 90 minutes every week over the course of ten weeks in total.
The researchers "measured couples' relationship satisfaction before and after they completed the tasks, and sure enough, couples who had completed the exciting task showed greater changes in how happy they were with each other."
All human beings crave variety, and you and the person you love are no exception. It's perfectly normal to feel bored in your relationship at times. What is not OK, though, is simply accepting it, then simultaneously complaining about it and becoming complacent.
If you want to keep your relationship exciting, aim for adventure and surprise every once in a while.
Randy Skilton is a relationship coach dedicated to helping guys understand themselves and become better men, husbands, and lovers.