Experts Reveal The 27 Golden Signs A Man Is Husband Material
Relationship experts help you discover the core materials that make a great husband.
hobo_018, Emma Bauso | Canva If you're looking for a life partner, you want someone honest, loyal, thoughtful, and caring. But what about the subtler details? What small things separate an average married man from the best husband ever?
The dating world is already bewildering, let alone the realm of trying to choose 'The One.' Compassion, compatibility, and communication are the best indicators of a prosperous marriage. But it doesn't stop there.
We asked YourTango's team of experts to share some of the less apparent traits marriage-minded women should look for when looking for a husband.
The 27 signs a man is husband material, as revealed by experts:
1. He's not intimidated by your success.
A man worth keeping is secure in himself and will support your success. He will praise your efforts and be there to lend an ear when you fall. He will share in your joys and help pick you up when you fall.
Your success will be about you, not about him. — Amy James, Psychologist
2. He's playful.
Couples who report being in happy relationships often cite time to play as an important factor in keeping their relationship alive. Occasional playfulness in a man is a very attractive quality to many.
He can joke (but not at your expense) and laugh at himself. He can take time away from his work and projects to go bowling, play frisbee, or engage in an impromptu game of Scrabble. — Amy James, Psychologist
3. He values gender equality.
He is comfortable in the kitchen and doesn't feel emasculated by running the vacuum. He can handle you mowing the yard, changing the oil, or washing the vehicles. He can be a breadwinner or a stay-at-home father.
Research conducted in 2021 shows that a man's true views on gender roles often tell a lot about his personality and relationship style. Will you be his equal? — Amy James, Psychologist
4. He's observant.
Would you like your partner to help with household chores? If so, look for an observant man. Some men could be better about doing their fair share around the house and often claim that they don't see dishes in the sink, scattered toys, or clothes on the floor.
Men who notice details in their environment have that extra bit of awareness needed to be full contributors in a household. — Lisa Kaplin, psychologist
5. He's a dreamer.
An often-overlooked quality for a future mate? The ability to dream. Does your guy dream about the perfect vacation, the second house on the beach, a house full of kids or any other fabulous plans?
Thinking and dreaming big suggests that he has goals, ambitions, and fun in his future. If he's all about practicality and simple stability, he might not be the guy to help you fulfill your wildest dreams and fantasies. Life's too short for that. — Lisa Kaplin, psychologist
6. He's an optimist.
Is your man's glass half full? If not, think twice before heading down the aisle with him. Sick kids, sleepless nights, financial stress, aging parents, and your mortality can chip away at anyone's optimism.
A partner who is a natural optimist can help you through those tough times with hefty doses of hope, laughter, and a big-picture outlook on life. — Lisa Kaplin, psychologist
7. He uses the word "we."
When speaking about plans, he includes you in them. You know that he is serious about you and not just having fun for the moment. — Marla Martenson, matchmaker
8. He lives like an adult.
He has his own apartment or house, no roommate situations, is settled in his career, and is done with his party days. — Marla Martenson, matchmaker
9. He treats you with respect.
How he treats people, including his friends and family, especially his mother, is a good indicator of what kind of husband he will be. — Marla Martenson, matchmaker
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10. He remembers the little things.
Any guy will remember your birthday. The guy who remembers the little things, too, is the keeper.
If he's paying attention to the little things you say and do, you can be sure he won't ignore things that are important to you. — Rebecca Marquis, dating and relationship coach
11. He offers to help without you asking.
If he is willing to go out of his way to help you without you having to ask, you'll know he truly cares about you. You can count on him as a true partner and establish trust, as shown in a 2007 study. — Rebecca Marquis, dating and relationship coach
12. He's attracted to you.
Our bodies change over time, especially post-pregnancy. If you've found a guy who loves your body in any form, you'll feel much more secure in the relationship over the long term. — Rebecca Marquis, dating and relationship coach
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13. He shares your values.
It's easy to miss the subtle signs that your guy might be a keeper, so start with your values and think about how someone's actions might reflect those values.
For example, family may be one of your top values if you're a divorced mother with kids. If your guy is willing to rearrange his work schedule to attend his kid's school band concert or sports meet, that speaks to his commitment to family. — Mandy Walker, divorce coach
14. He supports your career.
Married life isn't just about the fun and social parts of life, so opening up to your partner about your work is crucial. As you share a problem you're facing, watch how he reacts.
If he asks more questions, remembers other conversations, suggests possible solutions, and helps you brainstorm, that's a good sign that he supports your career and isn’t threatened by your success. — Mandy Walker, divorce coach
15. He encourages your friendships and interests.
It's unrealistic to think your partner can satisfy all your emotional needs. So, if your guy encourages you to maintain your friendships and interests, don't start thinking it's because he isn't that into you.
On the contrary, he's giving you the space you need to be a whole person. Follow his lead and your relationship will be off to a healthy start. — Mandy Walker, divorce coach
16. He shows he cares.
He pulls the blankets snugly around your shoulders when he wakes up on a cold night. He offers you a taste of the best part of his meal. He saves you the last bite of dessert.
He puts down his electronics and listens without over-reacting, even when you are crabby, hormonal, or flipping out ... and then he hugs you. — Dr. Dan Neuharth, psychotherapist and couples counselor
17. He has your back.
He'll offer to forego the big game on TV — and mean it — to come to change your flat tire or get you chicken soup if you're sick. He'll publicly take your side if you conflict with others and gently and privately tell you if he thinks you're not acting in your best interests.
If you say you want couples counseling, he'll go willingly ... and he likes your friends. — Dr. Dan Neuharth, psychotherapist and couples counselor
18. He is sensitive and communicative.
He never says you got a bad haircut. He knows how to say "I was wrong" and "I am sorry." He says you're beautiful even without makeup or first thing in the morning. He will talk until 2 a.m. if needed so you don't go to bed upset or feeling alone. — Dr. Dan Neuharth, psychotherapist and couples counselor
RELATED: 6 Honest Reasons Strong, Sensitive Men Are The Best To Love
19. He doesn't pretend to be perfect.
A guy who can show you his flaws means he can accept yours. If he is still trying to be perfect after date two or three, he either doesn't recognize his flaws or is practiced at hiding things. — Melissa Fritchle, licensed marriage and family therapist
20. He talks to you openly about birth control and safe sex.
Suppose he can have an open conversation with you about sexual health and family planning. In that case, he takes responsibility for his health, thinks about the future, and will support your health decisions. — Melissa Fritchle, licensed marriage and family therapist
21. He has honest conversations with your female friends.
This shows that a guy appreciates women as peers with interesting things to say. How he invests his energy in getting to know women who are not potential dates is linked to how invested he will be in loving you as time goes on. — Melissa Fritchle, licensed marriage and family therapist
22. He takes an interest in what happens during your day.
He genuinely wants to be caught up on your life since you last spoke, not because he's jealous, but because he wants to know about the things that are important to you. — Kim Olver, licensed clinical professional counselor
23. He understands the art of The Platinum Rule.
"Do unto others as they would have you do unto them," Tony Allesandra prioritizes finding out what you like, want, and need and gives that to you whenever possible instead of giving you what he would want in a similar situation. — Kim Olver, licensed clinical professional counselor
24. He asks your opinion about important decisions.
He may not always follow your suggestions, but sincerely considers them and wants your input. — Kim Olver, licensed clinical professional counselor
25. He roots for the success of your ventures.
More than anything, we all want a partner with that we feel safe. You want to do your best and be successful, and your boyfriend should also be rooting for your success. — Abiola Abrams, personal development coach
26. He sings your praises to others.
He's telling the people in his life what he enjoys and appreciates about you. He's bragging about how smart and caring you are. If the people in his life have never heard of you, Houston, you may have a problem. — Abiola Abrams, personal development coach
27. He makes you laugh (and vice-versa).
There's a reason married people live longer. Our health and well-being are intricately tied to our emotional state. Your ideal guy can see you at your best and worst and not belittle you.
If you aren't able to laugh about the dramas that arise with your life partner, things are going to be extremely difficult. — Abiola Abrams, personal development coach
The YourTango Experts team includes licensed therapists, dating and life coaches, matchmakers, and more professionals committed to offering you the tools and guidance for a happier and more rewarding life.