3 Golden Rules For Finding Love Without Compromising Who You Are
There are men who love your strength and resilience.
Kiselev Andrey Valerevich / Shutterstock If you’re a single, successful woman, finding love doesn't need to be an overwhelming challenge.
The key lies in finding balance — in turning down your masculine energy — the one that contributes to external success, and turning up your feminine energy, which is magnetic and receptive.
Your worthiness gauge resets to receive love and relationships abundantly.
It’s time for you to realize that you are a fascinating woman who is poised to meet her life partner. Your man wants to be with a woman who values partnership, fulfillment, and fearless love.
Here are three golden rules for finding love — without compromising who you are:
1. Be a gracious receiver.
Your intentions are not centered only on eagerness to please, but also on listening to, understanding, and receiving from the man because it pleases and honors who you are.
A man prides himself on being a good provider, not only financially, but in problem-solving and making his lady happy. Being grounded in your worthiness of lasting love will help you connect with a man who seeks your unique blend of strengths and vulnerabilities and who is deserving of your compassion, acceptance, and unconditional love.
As a gracious receiver, you’re no longer afraid to initiate an interaction with a man you’re interested in. However, you don’t doubt your worth and you allow him to pursue this relationship. When the man makes it happen by chasing you, he exercises his romantic muscles.
2. Let your relationships be intentional.
Your man is not only emotionally available but is also willing to commit. Therefore, you would not date someone who is married or in a relationship. This also rules out people who have just separated, been separated long-term, or are not over their ex.
When a man values himself and decides he wants success in an intimate, long-lasting relationship, he thoughtfully develops a mental picture of the type of woman he’s going to marry. His aim will be to get to know you and to gain your trust slowly to build a meaningful relationship. He does not want to waste your time or emotions for self-gratification. A man of integrity respects your power and independence and builds up your self-esteem.
Be impeccable with your words. Communicate clearly and honestly who you are and what you want in a relationship. Trust your gut and never ignore the red flags. Your man will appreciate your transparency because he wants to connect with you intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually.
Date him until you have an absolute "no" versus a "yes", he’s the one. A woman generally needs more time than a man to know for sure if he is the one for her.
Pace the rate at which you see each other. Don’t be so readily available. A man needs to feel he’s earned your time and attention. Pace self-disclosures to create some mystery and to foster time to reflect on how things are going. A lady with some mystery is alluring, but a man with mystery is a red flag.
3. Have boundaries and standards.
You have a responsibility to set and maintain healthy physical, sexual, financial, and informational boundaries in your relationship. Having boundaries means enjoying a balance of giving yourself and receiving from him.
Don’t ignore emotional boundaries. It’s wonderful to spend lots of quality time together, but it’s also necessary to spend time apart. You are both free to socialize with family and friends as individuals and to pursue personal interests without having to get permission to do so. Being your own person isn't a threat; it actually encourages the balance between separateness and togetherness.
Having physical boundaries means taking your time and not doing anything you’re not ready for. This even includes holding off the first kiss. You don’t owe your date anything. His reward is having the pleasure of your company. You are enough. You are worthy.
It’s my goal to empower and educate so you have the tools needed to avoid people who are incapable of expressing true love as well as to support your healing journey when love and the loveless collide.
You’re wired to love and be loved fearlessly.
Jianny Adamo, LMHC, founder of Fearless Love Coaching and Counseling supports singles and couples breaking through fears and limitations to create safe and intimate marriages and relationships.