10 Not-Great First-Date Habits Of Men Who Never Get A Second One
If these things happen on a first date, a second one is likely not in the cards.
PeopleImages | Canva Whether you met online or in aisle three at the grocery store, success on a first date is all about what to do and when to do it. The pressure for men to put their best foot forward on a first date is huge, so they need to get things right. But how a man does that is very much related to his self-perception.
Is he considerate? Generous with his time? Upbeat and engaged? Hey, good for you! Enjoy the date. On the other hand, if he's not any of those things — if he is instead rude, obnoxious, sort of smelly, arrogant, or aloof — you might want to arrange for a quick and early escape.
Here's a step-by-step guide to spot men who only care about showing what they perceive as their strength, confidence, and their Super Ultra Alpha Male status right from the start. If you suspect a guy you're dating for the first time might be an idiot ... you're probably right.
Here are fourteen first-date habits of men who never get a second one:
1. He uses a profile picture from his college days
How his mind works: "You looked your best then, right? And, even though you graduated more than 10 years ago, you looked great. Don't worry — everyone does it. As Neil Strauss said in his bestseller The Game: "It's not lying; it's flirting." So flirt! And besides, you're competing for her attention. You need every advantage."
2. He's late
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How his mind works: "Being on time is for Betas. Be a real man. You decide when the date starts. You get there when you are good and ready. She needs to know who the boss is right from the start."
3. He doesn't come to the door to pick you up
How his mind works: "Text her from the car and let her walk out to meet you. There's no sense in walking up and then both of you walking back to the car."
4. He picks you up right after his workout
How his mind works: "Women love it when a man sweats, right?"
5. He doesn't have a plan for the date
How his mind works: "Let her pick everything — you know, so she doesn't complain about what she hates to do or eat. When she says, "Where are we going?" the best answer is, "I dunno. Where do you want to go?"
6. He talks about himself — a lot
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How his mind works: "She wants to know you, right? So tell her! Tell her about how much money you make, how your "other car" is in the shop, and about the awesome house you live in.
7. He insults his ex
How his mind works: "Make sure she knows that your ex was the worst and that you won't stand for any of that from here on out. It's important she know your limits right out of the gate."
8. He's detached or unattainable
How his mind works: "Show her pictures of other women you've dated since then and show her your type. She needs to know you're a hot commodity."
9. He takes calls and answers texts at the table
How his mind works: "You're an important guy, and many people are trying to reach you. She needs to see that you're in high demand."
10. He's rude or abusive to the wait staff
How his mind works: "If you take her to dinner, make sure and show her that you're in charge."
11. He doesn't pay 100 percent of the bill
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How his mind works: "No need for all that courtship and chivalry garbage — it's all about equality now, right? Show her you value gender equality by letting her pay for dinner. And order the steak and a $150 bottle of wine to relate your confidence in your decision."
12. He ostentatiously walks you to the door when it ends
How his mind works: "It's the only way you'll get a kiss so tough it out, champ."
13. He's an over-aggressive first kisser
How his mind works: "Let her know you're there. Lean in aggressively and plant a wet one right on her. Make sure you use your tongue a lot — she won't mind."
14. He says he'll call but doesn't
How his mind works: "She needs to chase you. Be strong and be mysterious.
Hey men: If you set the bar low enough, the only way to go is up — and that's exactly where the woman you're dating will go: far, far away from you.
Charles J. Orlando is a relationship expert best known as the author of the acclaimed relationship book series, The Problem with Women… is Men.