5 First-Date Behaviors That Are Instant Turn-Offs
If you tell them the entire story, you're doing it wrong.
Prostock-Studio | Canva When it comes to getting to know someone, certain things should just be left unsaid — at least, in the beginning. Let us paint the scene for you. You're on a first date and they ask you why you got divorced. Do you tell them the entire story, which lasts forty minutes, or do you brush it off and re-focus the attention on the present? If you tell them the entire story, you're doing it wrong.
Here are 5 first-date behaviors that are instant turn-offs:
1. Watch the alcohol consumption
A couple of glasses of chardonnay, and all of a sudden, you're talking about how you were abused what medications you're on, or the custody battle with your ex.
2. Talking about your ex
I know this is the time to get to know the new person in front of you, not the ex. This is where the miscommunication can happen. one person says, "So, I see you are divorced. So what happened, why did you get a divorce?" That's not an entry to talk for half an hour about what happened. you talk for maybe 30-60 seconds and tell them you were going in different directions in life but still have kids, he's a great guy who is the father of your children. You wish him the best. that's it and then move on.
3. Having too many expectations
One of the big things is to have the right expectations and be present in the conversation you're having. Don't put all kinds of expectations on your date. Don't talk about having children or not being able to wait to get married. Stop imagining what's going to happen while ticking off boxes to define the person you are dating.
Prostock-studio via Shutterstock
4. Don't act like you are conducting an interview
When you're in an interview, your personality style changes. it goes into work mode so you learn their work personality and that's not the one you'll be interacting with.
When I was asked, "What kind of man are you looking for?" I read off all the things that will make me fall in love. So the guy I was dating portrayed himself as that person to me. Three and a half months later, I'm thinking, "Yes, I did fall in love but with a person who was pretending to be what I wanted. Just say, "I want to see if we have chemistry." Then, you can mention a few things that are deal breakers but don't have more than five things on your list.
5. Avoid complaining
On a first date, it is just completely out of the picture. Complaining is not a way to connect with someone. Once you start, you'll be complaining until the next year. If they ask why your past relationship didn't work out, you can mention something like, "We weren't a good fit we had a great relationship, and then at the end we realized we were going in different directions You don't need to complain about infidelity, or what you were working through. you don't have to go into the details. Go have fun and enjoy the date, don't tell your whole life story, have a good experience, and don't expect they will be your soul mate based on the first date.
Below, YourTango Experts Senior VP Melanie Gorman and relationship experts Marla Martenson, Carin Goldstein, Jen Duchene, and Kelly Rudolph talk about the importance of avoiding certain conversation topics on a first date, we couldn't agree more.
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