Every Relationship Fits Into 1 Of These 5 Categories — Which One Are You Living In?
Think your relationship is unique? See where yours lands.
Maxwell Gold | Unsplash Love was understood as a concept where two people come together in an agreement to care for and cherish each other endlessly. Understanding love was as simple as 1+1. Today, sadly, the transition from a potent sentiment in one's heart to committing is much more complicated.
What makes every couple different and unique is the way the partners interact with each other. For everyone watching the couple, these interactions are what determine how compatible the two partners are with each other.
While some couples are the epitome of a match made in heaven, others may seem like an eccentric combination in comparison. We’ve all asked ourselves the baffling question, “How did these two end up together?” when we see two unlikely individuals come together. That question and a bunch of post-relationship what-were-you-thinking conversations with friends got me to realize that couple-dynamics make relationships seem more confusing to others than it is.
Every relationship fits into one of these five categories:
1. The perfect couple
This picture-perfect couple grabs your attention by the way they complement each other and effortlessly become the couple goals to everyone’s envy. They complete each other’s sentences, share great chemistry, and seem to have absolutely no room for any third-world problems between them.
Yay points: Finding a best friend in your life partner is a dream-come-true for a relationship. From early on in the relationship, the partners are comfortable around each other and learn to think and behave like a single unit.
Such compatibility makes way for great chemistry as well. There’s a lot of respect that they give each other and a safe space for the partners to experiment, learn, and grow within the relationship.
Nay points: The relationship would only work if it is genuine. It’s easy to pretend to be what your partner wants you to be, in which case the foundation of the relationship itself is quite shaky. It’s almost hard for realists to believe that there could be a perfect relationship that is solely motivated by love.
What to do? Consider yourself lucky if you are in such a relationship. As much as looking great together in photographs and making each other laugh is great for the relationship, it’s also important to know what makes your partner tick.
If the relationship seems like a bed of roses, it may not be sustainable. The focus should be on building a strong foundation first and an Instagram page later.
2. The compliant couple
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This is the kind of love the movies sell, where the couple would go to any lengths to be with each other and prove their love for one another. Both partners are very receptive to each other's needs and always go that extra mile in order to maintain the peace between them. Even conflicts are quickly resolved by mutual agreement between the partners.
Yay Points: There’s nothing not to love when someone promises you the stars. Love is blind — if that’s how people judge their behavior, then so be it.
They are dedicated to each other and would be okay to look past each other’s flaws. Even after years of being together, the couple would focus on sharing that untarnished love for each other, like it is Day 1.
Nay Points: Let’s talk about the elephant in the room — Obsession. Love of this sort is dangerous if both partners aren’t on the same page, as it increases the expectations of any one of the individuals. If the same kind of love isn’t reciprocated, negative emotions, especially paranoia, make their way between the couple.
WTD? Communicate. It’s fantastic to be a compliant couple, as long as there is absolute transparency between them. It’s also necessary to set down some ground rules right from the start, rather than getting your partner’s hopes and expectations unpredictably high. The focus of the relationship should be on loving the person and understanding their needs, rather than loving the idea of having that person in your life.
3. The polar couple
This is the love that develops between two individuals with almost opposite characters. For example, one partner may take emotional decisions, while the other is more rational. Sometimes the roles they play in the relationship could be what makes them poles apart, like a pursuer and the distancer, the rescuer and the rescued, or the loved and the unloved.
Yay Points: Opposites attract, we know that. Finding your better half has been what love was always about. In this case, the couple complements and completes each other by filling up a void they otherwise feel while they are alone. Such relationships help the individuals broaden their perspective and be able to react to situations in a different way.
Nay Points: Opposing forces cause friction. There are higher chances of overdependency, irreconcilable differences, and the feeling of being completely lost without each other among such couples. The weaker or vulnerable individual might appear to be making most compromises, while the other person does not make significant changes to accommodate their partner.
WTD? Relationships like these might seem complicated and even overwhelming. But it also shows that you are okay with venturing out of your comfort zone and can handle challenges well. There’s a lot that people take away from such relationships.
It helps them evolve into someone who can manage certain scenarios better than they otherwise could. In fact, polar-couples seem to go the distance more often than we assume, and that’s their signature.
4. The power couple
Let’s call this the 50:50 relationship because the couple loves each other as much as they love themselves. They love being successful and the image they project to the world as an alpha pair.
They strive to not just be the perfect version of themselves, but also to work constantly to maintain their status in their professional and family life. Like two roads that run parallel to each other, the couple knows exactly what they want from the relationship, and their goals are not enmeshed.
Yay Points: Who wouldn’t want to be the power couple? Here, both individuals bring their own kind of charm and charisma that drives the union forward. Both partners know where and when to draw the line. It’s easy for such couples to focus on and even juggle their personal and professional lives.
Nay Points: As much as most couples would love the attention and be on top of their game, people tend to dislike power-couples. They are seen as competitive, selfish, and attention seekers. The power couple sometimes becomes obsessed with being on top, and tends to compromise on matters like family and friendship.
WTD? If you are driven and career-oriented, and you want to use the same principles in your personal life, that’s fine. As long as both partners understand and agree on each other’s ambitions.
It’s okay to want to be better every day, but make sure that the other half isn’t hurt or feeling left out in the process. Played right, this couple can pull off the good life.
5. The practical couple
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This is a relationship where the expression of love is neither overdone nor underplayed. Couples in such relationships are content with the love they have for each other.
Their practical outlook towards life makes them focus on their love as well as give importance to other priorities in life. The couple is always in sync with each other’s needs, but at the same time, manages to look like two separate entities.
Yay Points: The rational love is challenging. Especially in a world where there is growing acceptance of PDAs, there’s an unexplained clam that is seen among practical couples. There is a good balance of everything, be it love, the tiffs, and the adventures. There is no drama and no nonsense. What’s not to love?
Nay Points: The thing about love is, it never follows any set pattern or guidelines. Everyone experiences emotions differently, and when it comes to a romantic relationship, it is necessary to share and be able to reciprocate those emotions and feelings. It’s easy to feel blamed or unheard in such relationships. Compartmentalising emotions in relationships might prove to become monotonous over time and may feel like another chore.
WTD? First off, accept that relationships get monotonous over time. If the couple is of the same wavelength and has open communication channels, they should take time out for each other to discuss not-so-practical things like emotions, feelings, their fears, and dreams. It would make the relationship and everyone involved in it less mechanical and more human.
Verdict
When you really love someone, you are naturally inclined to know everything there is about them, meet their friends and family, and introduce them to yours. A lot can be understood about your partner by the way they interact with their loved ones. The key to dating is to know someone for who they are before progressing to courtship, love, and then marriage.
It is cardinal to remember that what works for one couple might not work for the other. Analyze yourself — what is it that you bring to a relationship, and also what you seek from it. Relationships are complicated, and love has more than one way of being expressed. As long as you are an honest, open book to your special half, relationships won’t seem like a task.
Jancy Mathew is a part-time couples counselor and freelance writer.
