3 Emotional Words That Make Men Fall In Love, According To Psychology
Just three words and he's yours.
Dean Drobot | Canva Love. It’s patient. It’s kind. It’s frustrating. For single women, the latter is especially true: the dating life isn’t for the faint of heart. But learning how to make a man fall in love with you doesn’t mean reinventing yourself, changing your look, or reading every book on romance inside the local library. You can get him to love you easier than you realize. And it starts with three little words.
It might seem like a bold claim to say that three magic words can unlock a man’s heart and make him fall for you.
If it were that easy, wedding planners would be billionaires. But, when you understand the reason for these words’ effectiveness, this claim doesn’t sound so audacious. So, what are these three words, exactly?
Are they "I love you"? Nope.
Are they "I desire you"? No.
Are they "Let’s "? That’s not it either.
Are they "I made bacon"? That’s close, but still nope.
Make no mistake: the above certainly does leave a man feeling good (about himself and you). We all want to be loved and desired. It's a fundamental need almost every human has, according to romantic research.
Intimacy is great, too. So is bacon (apologies to all the vegans out there — there’s no shame in tofu bacon). Yet, these words come with a hint of obligation that takes away their power. They can make a man feel trapped. They can make him feel like he must reciprocate your feelings (i.e., if you love him, he must love you back). They can make him panic.
They can make him assume that you making breakfast means you’re looking for some long-term commitment. Here comes the white picket fence, the 2.5 kids, and the golden retriever. And don’t even get him started on Saturday trips to Lowe's. In other words, these words don’t only elicit positive emotions.
What about the phrase "I respect you"? That’s something men want to hear, as well as its awesome cousin: "I admire you." It’s close, but we're not there just yet. There’s something that goes a bit deeper, something that can make him love you more. Something that’s the opposite of threatening.
What are the three words that make men fall in love? "I trust you."
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. One study from Eastern Illinois University even shows how vital trust is to romantic relationships. Telling a man that you trust him is the magic bullet, the poignant phrase that can make him fall for you. Maybe you already knew this. But you might not know why this phrase is so powerful.
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It comes down to this: when you tell a man that you trust him, what you are saying is "I validate your reality" and that means acknowledging that his reality may be different than yours.
You are validating him as a leader. You respect his integrity. You are handing him the proverbial reins by saying, "I am opening to your world, do with our connection what you will."
When you do this, you take the pressure off the man you are dating. But you also invite him to be a better human being. Think about yourself for a minute. When people trust you, it’s only natural to want to validate their trust. If someone thinks you’re trustworthy then — by God — you’re going to be trustworthy.
It’s human nature: when people look at you in a bright light, you can’t help but want to shine. You don’t want to let them down. Not all women see this. In fact, "there are no good men out there" is the battle cry of many. So, women must ask themselves what kind of men they are pursuing.
If you keep reeling in loser after loser, the odds are high that you’re not fishing in the right lake. It might be time to switch up fishing holes. Start by going somewhere with less pond scum.
In that sense, the "I trust you" declaration is only as powerful as you.
Clayton Olson is an International Relationship Coach, Master NLP Practitioner, and Facilitator specializing in dating, empowering men and women, self-esteem, and life transitions. He has 20 years of experience working to optimize human behavior and relational dynamics.