12 Disturbingly Common Reasons Women Turn Down A Second Date

How to have a successful first meeting with a potential mate.

Last updated on Sep 29, 2024

Woman turns man down for a second date due to a disturbingly common reason. Pheelings Media | Canva
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In the dating world especially, first impressions are lasting ones. So it's always rough when you thought you wooed a dude and he never calls you again. Sigh. While cell phone shenanigans, a lack of physical attraction, talking too much about yourself, and blatant pre-date lies apply to both genders, there are some specific reasons why a gal won't give a guy the time of day again.

RELATED: 3 Dating Pet Peeves That Turn People Off The Most, According To Research

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Here are 12 disturbingly common reasons women turn down a second date:

1. He's way too into them

We're all nervous about being liked on a first date, but it's even worse when the dude is proposing before the breadbasket has arrived.  Too much too fast makes me want to put on the brakes. You have to give me the chance to get to know you before I'm willing to say you're entitled to 50% of my bobblehead collection.

2. He got too drunk

Alcohol can help relax the initial first-date jitters. However, you shouldn't get all Wiley McWasted. Slurring isn't attractive.

3. He got too grabby

This often goes hand in hand with #2, but before I let my guard down (aka get in bed with you, with one University of Texas study stating 1 in 3 women will get intimate with someone on the first date), I want to get the sense that you respect me. If you're already pawing at my butt and we haven't even kissed yet, I reserve the right to use my ninja moves on you. Try pinching me with a cast! 

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4. He has bad table manners

A friend of mine once went out with a dude who dunked his finger in his drink and then sucked the liquid off. Um, YUCK! Needless to say, there was no date #2. 

Reasons Women Turn Down A Second Date New Africa / Shutterstock

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5. He didn't offer to buy the first drink

As a working girl, I'm all for going Dutch. Dinner is one thing, but if you invite me to meet you at a bar and you don't try to get me one drink, you're a cheapskate. How can we get this romance started if you're not even willing to ask me what I want from a simple bar menu? One YouGov poll even shows that the majority of men and women believe a man should pay.

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6. He wouldn't stop looking at his phone 

Am I boring you? Or are you writing that you're having a bad time? You looking at your phone while on a date with me just opened a Pandora's Box of insecurities.

7. He didn't make eye contact

I can't trust you if you can't look me in the eyes. Even if it's just from nerves, I don't know if you're anxious or a serial killer. Either way, you're showing a serious lack of confidence.

8. He makes lots of big declarative statements about what he's looking for

Sounds more like you just want someone who will nod along with your lectures. Don't get me wrong, I want to know what kinds of things are important to you. But if it feels like you're going down a checklist, I have to wonder, are you laying down the law or do you want to get to know me?

Disturbingly Common Reasons Women Turn Down A Second Date New Africa / Shutterstock

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RELATED: 3 Major 'Courting' Mistakes Even The Most Old-School Men Make

9. He called his ex-girlfriend "crazy" 

Sure, I might be scared you'd say the same thing about me. But I'm even more afraid that she truly is nutso and, by dating you, I'll incur her vengeful wrath.

10. He didn't bring anything to the conversation

I'm glad you like what I have to say, but what's on your mind? We're not at that comfortable silence stage at date #1.

11. He didn't dress to impress

That T-shirt has a stain on it. You don't have to get all fake fancy, but on the first date shouldn't you be trying to look your best? I didn't blow-dry my hair because I thought I was going to make a mess.

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12. He was rude to the waiter/waitress

Whether you seemed one flirt away from going home with her or you complained about every detail of the meal, you should always be respectful. If you're already abusing your relationship with a waiter/waitress, what hope is there for me?

RELATED: The 5 Most Destructive Dating Mistakes Men Make That Chase Women Away

The Frisky is dedicated to sharing relationship tips, celebrity gossip, and sultry fun.

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