Dating Expert Reveals The Unusual Words That Make A Man Fall In Love
How to speak the language of love to a man.
Monkey Business Images | Canva Do you have trouble communicating with the man you love or with men in general? Do you feel like you push men away when trying to express your needs?
If so, I know exactly how you feel and I want to offer you the right words to make a man fall in love so that you can stop putting a wedge between yourself and a man and start bringing him closer with the power of intimacy.
Here are a few communication tips to help you turn your words into deeper feelings in his heart. Winning a man’s heart starts and ends with your emotional connection to him, and nothing builds a strong, deep, cozy, and safe emotional connection like the right words at the right moment, spoken from the right place in your heart.
Here are the unusual words that make a man fall in love:
1. Share your sentiments, not your agenda
I’m a big advocate of women speaking up about their needs in a relationship. In the past, I always had a hard time taking space in a relationship for my feelings.
I was used to feeling small and accommodating in my relationships, so I spent a lot of time figuring out ways to please a man — as if pleasing him automatically fulfilled my needs, which it never did!
It’s important to have your own needs and express them clearly. This allows you to build your self-worth while allowing you to make room for your feelings in the relationship.
However, it’s also important to make a man want to provide for your needs. When you talk with a man from a place of blame or entitlement, it’s harder for him to feel inspired.
The key is to show him how you feel inside. This will stir up his empathetic side and make him feel connected to you.
He will suddenly want to provide your needs and take care of you. When you are walled off and just barking a list of honey-dos at him, he feels infantilized and controlled.
2. Unbutton your heart and dredge from your depths
One recent study out of the University of Texas revealed that men who were shown photos of women in vulnerable poses were highly aroused by these women compared to seeing women in stronger stances.
I don’t think this is because men like weak women; it’s because vulnerability creates compassion, which can lead to arousal for men. After all, physical intimacy and love are tightly interwoven for them.
Pexels / Liza Summer
When you can be brave enough to expose your feelings to a man — look him in the eye, soften your voice and body tension, and admit that you are insecure, sad, angry, anxious, afraid, etc.— he feels automatically closer to you.
He feels like you trust him enough to give him a “peekaboo” of your delicate, soft, tender, and wondrous soul.
It’s hard for a man to open up and when a woman does it easily, he is enchanted. He not only feels that she trusts him, but he feels that she has the secret tools to help him deal with his scary vulnerability.
3. Keep it about you, not him
In my past, I loved “project men” — men who needed to be fixed, changed, saved, and tamed. I loved the challenge and the strategies I would come up with.
The chase was thrilling for me because it was easier and safer than looking into my own heart and swimming in my feelings. Pursuing an unavailable guy is easier than remaining still, calm, and introspective because sitting with fears of intimacy is hard.
In my pursuit, I focused my words on the men instead of on sharing my feelings with them. I would ask them what they were feeling and thinking and preach my thoughts and theories on why they were commitment-phobic or emotionally unavailable.
I would give them incentives to want me (“You know this relationship is good for you! You need to learn how to love and I can help you with that!”)
My inability to focus on unbuttoning my heart for men and instead targeting them as projects, made men feel controlled and managed.
When you can stop focusing on him and start listening to your feelings like a seashell to the ear—hearing your inner depth and emotional ocean — you can lure a man in.
You become the sea siren singing her song of emotion and spiritual self-discovery, and he’s compelled to come closer…
He then wants to know how to take care of you; how to understand himself through you; how to inspire more feelings in you for him… The phrases, the hypnotic whispers, which do this are the words that make a man fall in love.
Kristina Marchant is a writer and author with a BA in psychology from Barnard College at Columbia University. She is also a relationship coach who advises women on men and healthy relationship skills.