Dating Coach Says The 'Wardrobe Test' Reveals How You Really Feel About Your Partner
If you had to describe your partner as an article of clothing, what would you choose?
View Apart | Shutterstock In today’s hard and sometimes even tragic dating scene, it's not hard to get caught up in overthinking and second-guessing your feelings. However, sometimes the most honest answers come from our gut — let's never forget that phrase “trust your gut feeling” because deep down, it's true.
In an Instagram post, dating coach Logan Ury described a unique tool she uses to help people better understand their relationship dynamics and to trust their gut feelings. She created the wardrobe test. This test asks a very simple but powerful question: If your partner were a piece of clothing in your closet, what would they be? According to Ury, the answer you choose describes how you truly feel about your partner.
A dating coach uses the wardrobe test with clients as a gut check for their relationships.
Ury had introduced the “wardrobe test” as a way for people to assess their true gut feelings about their partner. The concept is quite simple: if your partner were a piece of clothing, what would they be?
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This question prompts an instant, gut-level reaction that can reveal your true emotions and thoughts on your relationship. This test has the ability to cut through that overthinking we hate to have present in our relationships. It's a simple, creative, yet powerful way to reflect on one's connection and dynamic in a relationship.
The dating coach explained how the 'wardrobe test' can detect trouble in a relationship.
Not all answers to the test are positive, and some people might reveal unsettling thoughts they don't even realize they have. Ury used the example that if you say your partner is like an old sweater that used to be comfy but itches you now, this obviously spells trouble.
Another example she noted was if you describe your partner as a raggedy t-shirt that you wear to the gym but would hate if anyone saw you out wearing it — ding, ding, ding, red flag. Responses like this suggest that the relationship may be lacking passion or excitement, which could lead to you feeling disconnected or even unfulfilled in your relationship.
Ury insisted, however, that even a negative answer isn't necessarily the death knell to your relationship. To understand your answer, she explained you need to “analyze your own psyche and think about the emotions you associate with the piece of clothing you named,” she said. As well+good author Erica Sloan wrote of the test, "Generally, it bodes well for your relationship if your answer is a favorite item in your closet or anything that keeps you warm or protected. And it’s worrisome if your item involves something itchy, uncomfortable, or that you wouldn’t be excited to be seen in."
The dating coach explained how the 'wardrobe test' can detect positive growth and connection in your relationship.
On the other hand, the wardrobe test can also show positive insights into a relationship. When someone says their partner is like their favorite pair of jeans that they never thought to buy for themselves — it reflects a sense of growth and unexpected connection.
This answer shows that the person values their relationship despite the challenges they have faced. They have learned to grow and love their partner in perhaps unexpected ways. Relationships similar to these represent partnerships that bring joy and fulfillment.
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The wardrobe test isn’t about being logical or overthinking. It’s about tapping into your gut feelings.
People often get caught up in doubts and uncertainty when deciding whether to stay in or leave a relationship. Logan Ury’s wardrobe test stops this and helps take the overthinking out of the equation by encouraging self-discovery by listening to gut feelings.
When asked how they view their partner, the immediate response often holds the key to what someone truly needs to understand about their feelings. Whether it's a little black dress that makes them feel confident and secure or a once favorite wardrobe item that’s lost its appeal, the test offers valuable insights into the health and future of a relationship.
Erika Ryan is a writer working on her bachelor's degree in Journalism. She is based in Florida and covers relationships, psychology, self-help, and human interest topics.