10 Spicy Date Night Ideas Cosmo Fails To Mention
Spice up your monotonous marriage with these hot date ideas.
Getty Images | Unsplash Are you over the cool new restaurant downtown and the club around the corner? Bored with wine bars or concerts? I’m sure you did enough of that juvenile stuff before kids. Get a sitter and pick one of the following more mature, yet still wild and crazy options. You have me to thank if your husband falls in love with you all over again.
Here are the top 10 date night ideas that Cosmo fails to mention:
1. Target
While perusing the patio furniture on double markdown, you can leisurely make out on the chaise lounges. Pity the couples there with cartloads of children. Then get yourselves some candy at the cash register. You deserve it.
Photo: Sam Lion/Pexels
2. Grocery shopping
How often do you get to take your time looking through the produce? Stroke the sweet potatoes while looking seductively at your man. Make sure to moan sexily when the spray from the vegetable mister hits your face. He will be unable to prevent himself from grabbing at you in the pet products aisle. Make out in front of the dog food.
3. Laundry
Send the kids to your mom and catch up on all the loads of laundry you need to do. When the dryer is done, take out the hot towels and frolic in them on the laundry room floor, because you are young at heart. Make out in the steam rising from the freshly dried towels. Then rewash all the towels because you haven’t Swiffered the laundry room in six months.
4. Rite Aid
Drugstores provide another frisson of excitement. Go tour the display with all the condoms and lube that is placed awkwardly right in front of the pharmacist. Make out in front of the display until all the other customers walk away in disgust. Discuss whether you should get a $21 box of specialty condoms. Choose to spend the money on some new Swiffer clothes for the laundry room floor.
5. Couples spa night
By this I mean you both go to Supercuts. If you call ahead you can sit next to each other. Make kissy faces at each other in the mirror. Make out while touching each other’s new haircuts.
6. Starbucks
Get flavored lattes and biscotti. It’s like being in Italy. Hum the theme music from The Godfather, and make out while calling each other endearments in pidgin Italian.
Photo: Uriel Mont/Pexels
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7. Get your car washed
Since this seems to terrify your toddler, you have no other time to get it done. The thwap thwap thwap sound can get you in the mood. Make out as your car lurches through each cycle. You may get too excited to remember to take down the antenna.
8. Clean out the fridge
The cold air is a welcome contrast with the heat you and your husband are generating by your smoldering gazes as you throw out whatever was in that Tupperware from three weeks ago. Every time you find a rotten grape in the bottom of the fruit bin, make out.
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9. Organize the garage
You can barely walk around in there. But who needs to walk when you will be embracing passionately and making out every time you find a box full of weird cords and electrical wires?
10. Go to 7–11
Get Slurpees and role play that you’re teenagers on your first date. Make out next to the hot dogs being irradiated in ultraviolet light. Laugh heartily over the fools wasting their money on exotic adults-only resort vacations when you can have this much fun for free.
There you have it. Go put on your slinkiest little black dress and try some of these hot ideas. Well, only try one per evening. Your husband isn’t 16 anymore, and you can’t expect him to be able to withstand more than one of these wild adventures at a time.
Photo: Khoa Võ/Pexels
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Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten, aka Dr. Psych Mom, is a clinical psychologist in private practice and the founder of DrPsychMom. She works with adults and couples in her group practice Best Life Behavioral Health.