Couples Most Likely To Make It Through The Honeymoon Phase Do These 5 Things, Says Relationship Therapist
It takes work, but it is well-worth it in the end.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock Every couple knows that relationships are not always sunshine and roses and that you both have to make an effort in order to be happy with one another. When we first begin dating a new partner, we are often in a state of bliss during those first few weeks. This is referred to as the “honeymoon phase” of a relationship, where everything is exciting, passionate, and new.
People often behave their best during the honeymoon phase. However, once we get used to our partners, we tend to stop trying as hard to impress them. While this transition is completely normal in relationships, some couples view it as the end of the road since their feelings toward one another are not as euphoric as they were in the beginning.
Only the couples that develop deeper emotional bonds, focus on open communication, and grow in a more realistic understanding and acceptance of each other’s complexities are the ones that will last.
Here are 5 things couples who will make it beyond the honeymoon phase do differently:
Erica, a relationship therapist and dating coach, took to Instagram to share the 5 patterns of couples who are most likely to make it past the honeymoon phase.
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1. They understand secure attachment
Secure attachment is defined as a type of emotional bond where individuals feel safe, confident, and connected in their relationships.
Couples who are securely attached to one another feel comfortable relying on each other, opening up to each other about anything, do not need constant reassurance from their partner that they still love them, and approach conflict calmly and constructively.
People who are securely attached to their partners value their self-worth and aren’t afraid to call them out when they encounter an issue, knowing that most can be resolved without threatening the relationship.
“Since these people generally have a positive view of themselves, they stand firm in who they are and protect themselves from others who minimize or dismiss their self-expression,” Erica wrote.
2. They embrace vulnerability
While it may not always be easy, being vulnerable and opening up to your partner can be integral to the longevity of your relationship.
“Gradually open up emotionally to your partner, sharing fears, hopes, and deeper feelings,” Erica suggested. “This openness strengthens your connection, builds intimacy, and creates a deeper understanding between partners. Overcome the fear of rejection or judgment by recognizing that vulnerability is a sign of strength, not weakness.”
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It’s completely normal to put up walls and guard yourself during the honeymoon phase of a relationship. You may be afraid of letting them in and potentially scaring them off. However, if you want to develop a strong and meaningful relationship, your partner truly has to know who you are at your core.
“If you don't allow yourself to be vulnerable, your partner can't be expected to understand what you need and want from them,” Shari Foos, a marriage and family therapist and founder of The Narrative Method, told Verywell Mind.
“They will undoubtedly respond in unsatisfactory ways. And then, because you don't feel supported, you can resent them and blame them rather than owning your feelings. And then, before you begin to be vulnerable, you’ve got a knot to unwind.”
Do not be afraid to open yourself up to your partner. It lays the foundation for a strong relationship. Tell them about your deepest fears. Tell them your biggest dreams. Tell them your most crushing failures. Tell them all of it.
3. They develop clear communication
We all know that communication is key to making a relationship last, and it involves more than just letting your partner know what time you’ll be home and what you want to do for dinner.
According to Erica, partners must express their needs, feelings, and expectations honestly and directly with one another.
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Listening is just as crucial in communication as talking.
“Practice active listening and empathy when your partner communicates. This approach prevents resentment, and fosters mutual understanding and respect,” Erica advised. “Work on articulating your thoughts clearly and asking for clarification when needed.”
Even if your partner knows you better than anyone, they are not a mind reader.
Allow them the opportunity to hear you out and ask questions about anything you may need or want from the relationship.
4. They build trust
Trusting your partner is essential to the survival of your relationship. Couples who make it beyond the honeymoon phase need to learn effective ways to build trust with one another.
“Consistently demonstrate reliability, keep promises, and show support for your partner’s well-being and growth,” Erica shared. “A foundation of trust creates a safe environment where both partners feel secure enough to be authentic and take emotional risks.”
Additionally, she noted that trust built over time allows the relationship to weather challenges and grow stronger through shared experiences.
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“When you ensure that trust is a strong part of the foundation of the relationship you’re creating with your partner, you naturally see things in a favorable light,” Jaimi Douthit, LPC, wrote in an article published in the Center for Couples Counseling.
“For example, effective and dependable communication and action pride in loyalty and commitment, known security and safety, feelings of stability, and an increase in dedication to respect within the relationship all feel solid and noticeable. We love every bit of that!”
5. They maintain balance
In every relationship, there should be a fine balance between growing as a couple and growing as an individual person separate from the relationship.
During the honeymoon phase, couples often want to spend every second they can with their new partner. However, it is still important to set aside time for yourself, where you can focus on your accomplishments and find peace in your own company.
“This balance promotes individual development and self-esteem while simultaneously strengthening the partnership,” Erica shared. “Regularly check in with yourself and your partner about individual needs and relationship needs to ensure neither is neglected.”
Even though quality time with your partner keeps the relationship strong, equal time for yourself is just as important. You cannot give someone your very best if you are not taking care of yourself as an individual.
Transitioning out of the honeymoon phase can be difficult for some couples, especially when they hold onto the idea that their partner is perfect.
It’s important to recognize that no one is perfect, but it should not affect how much you love them and are willing to try and build a meaningful relationship with them.
As long as you and your partner make a conscious effort to follow the above steps, your relationship will likely make it years beyond the initial excitement you had in the beginning.
In fact, it will deepen your love, making it stronger as time passes.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.