Couples Who Are Compatible In These 6 Specific Ways Tend To Stay Together For Life, According To Research
How to know if you're compatible enough to be together forever or not.
Getty Images | Unsplash If you're starting a new relationship, you might wonder if you'll end up being compatible or not. Of course, you don't want to waste each other's time, so it's a good idea to figure out your love compatibility ASAP in a casual way.
You might not experience all of these issues early on, which can cause you to strengthen the relationship on the surface level, but as you do start to have the "big talk" and open up discussion for serious matters that could affect the long-term, you'll begin to determine whether or not this relationship has real potential for lasting success and staying together for life. Hopefully, it does!
Here are the best love compatibility tests based on topics that can cause problems in even healthy relationships (as in, if you don't agree, it could cause obstacles moving forward).
Couples who are compatible in these specific ways tend to stay together for life:
1. How you handle arguments
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If your partner is a shouter and you're pretty avoidant when it comes to arguments, you could butt heads as a team.
"Some people need to discuss things for closure, while others prefer to just drop the issue. If you disagree on how to resolve a conflict, then you will have compatibility issues," David Bennett, a relationship counselor and the owner of Double Trust Dating and Relationships, explained.
"I have seen many couples grow apart when one wants or needs to discuss the disagreement to process it, while the other withdraws, needing alone time to get over the fight," he explains. This behavior should match up to overcome fights as quickly and easily as possible.
2. How you see the relationship timeline
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"If one partner wants to get engaged, married, and have kids right away, while the other partner isn't even sure if they want to go for another month, let alone even think about kids, it can cause compatibility issues," says Bennett.
While you're not going to pop the question about kids on date one if you do start to get serious, it's bound to come up, so you don't want to wait too long to gently approach the matter.
A relationship timeline, which tracks key events and periods within a couple's history, can effectively predict the trajectory and overall quality of a relationship by highlighting critical turning points, patterns of growth or decline, and potential areas of conflict that may arise at different stages of the relationship journey.
Research published in The European Journal of Personality found that this method is often used to analyze how early relationship dynamics, significant events, and individual coping mechanisms influence long-term relationship satisfaction and stability.
3. How you spend your money
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"One major area couples often disagree about is money. Often, it boils down to each partner's philosophy on saving and spending," says Bennett. Some people take the view that if you have it, spend it. (YOLO, right?)
Others, however, believe saving is the better value, which is probably smart, to be honest. "If you disagree on this, you'll be in a constant push-pull battle about what's the best way to handle your money," he says. How couples manage their money, including spending habits and saving strategies, can significantly impact their relationship happiness.
A 2023 study showed that couples who openly discuss finances, share financial goals, and pool accounts tend to report higher relationship satisfaction compared to those who keep finances completely separate. Spending money on shared experiences and prioritizing prosocial spending can also contribute to greater happiness within a relationship.
4. How private of a person you are
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"I have seen this crop up lately, where one partner is very private and likes to keep their feelings and activities known among a small group of people, while their partner loves airing everything on social media," says Bennett.
If you're glued to your Insta feed and are always into PDA, posting about your whereabouts, and snapping selfies all the time, it could get on your partner's nerves. "If one partner likes to remain low-key and out of the limelight and their partner is always sharing everything, this can create some real compatibility issues," he explains.
5. How you split the housework
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You're a team! If one partner is doing the dishes and vacuuming and making the beds and doing the laundry and more and more while the other partner watches, it's going to cause some strain on the relationship.
"If one partner believes there should be a balance, while the other partner believes the lower earner is responsible for cooking and cleaning, there will be issues since there are different expectations," explains Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW.
According to a 2018 study, a more equal split of housework between partners is strongly associated with greater relationship happiness. Couples who share household chores tend to report higher satisfaction levels and less relationship conflict than those with an unequal division of labor. The perception of fairness in the chore distribution often matters more than an exact 50/50 split.
6. How much you time you choose to spend with friends and family
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If your partner is a social butterfly and has a vast network, while you like to keep to yourself, it could cause issues in the relationship in terms of what to do on weekends and with whom to spend time. The same goes for choosing between friends and family.
"If one person expects to see family for every holiday and do FaceTime weekly, while the other person likes spending holidays with friends, there will need to be compromise," says Hershenson.
Isadora Baum is a freelance writer and former contributor to PopSugar. She has appeared in Yahoo Entertainment, The Huffington Post, Insider Business, and more.