9 Surprisingly Simple Things Smart Men Do To Keep The Woman They Love Happy, According To Psychology
Everyday gestures the most emotionally intelligent men never forget to do.
Nolan Manning | Unsplash Certain things should just be common sense, in my opinion. But the more life experiences I have, the more I realize that there is a serious lack of effort, romance, dignity, chivalry, and just overall respect in dating and relationships — and there is no excuse for it.
A perceived lack of effort in a relationship can significantly impact satisfaction and commitment. A 2020 study explained that individuals who believe 'love grows with effort' are more likely to maintain relationship satisfaction over time, while those who believe love is a destiny are more prone to dissatisfaction.
Here are the nine surprisingly simple things smart men do to keep women happy, according to psychology:
1. Do the dishes
Yep, the dishes. I don’t care if you cooked or didn’t cook. Cleaned last night or didn't. I don’t even care if you are visiting your girlfriend and there are dishes in her sink. Clean that stuff up.
Why, you might ask? Because you are contributing to someone else’s life by doing something that they may be struggling to find the time to do, or perhaps have been putting it off, or maybe they just don’t enjoy it.
“I don’t like to do it either, so why should I?” Because you are willing to put in the effort for someone you care about, right?
2. Support her
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One of the biggest complaints I hear from women about men these days is how men are "intimidated" by success, strength, ambition, or passion. These qualities are all qualities that we should be thankful for a woman to have. These are qualities that make her a teammate, an equal, and a partner in crime.
If you stifle her passions or try to discourage her personal growth, you are doing both her and yourself a massive disservice by not embracing her full potential. If you need to hold someone back to feel secure in yourself, it is not them you should be worried about, friend.
A man supporting their woman more, both emotionally and practically, contributes significantly to her happiness and overall well-being. A 2022 study explained that this support can manifest in various ways, from showing empathy and understanding during challenging times to actively participating in household tasks and encouraging her goals.
3. Give her space
I struggled with this for a long time. As someone who grew up with little to no success with women, I was constantly worried about someone slipping away if she did, eventually, show interest in me.
So, I would always feel the need to be on top of her (not literally), and I’d think that if I wasn’t communicating with her directly, she wasn’t actually thinking about me, or missing me, or maybe she’d just change her mind and be done with me. A little pathetic, eh?
The problem is, I still hear stories like this about grown men who are, apparently, not in a secure enough relationship to understand that love is freedom, and two people who live individual lives need to be able to continue doing so, regardless of their relationship status. She will appreciate you more for it. Believe me.
4. Cook for her
It doesn’t have to be anything elaborate (bonus points if it is), but there are a lot of benefits to cooking for the woman in your life.
- It’s creative. You can have fun with it and create a new experience for her that she’s never had before.
- It shows you care. I don’t know about you, but I grew up in a household where cooking for someone was a sign of love and affection.
- It’s attractive. Ask any woman what they think of a man cooking for them, and I bet that you’ll see that 4-letter word more often than not.
When men cook for their partners, it can foster stronger emotional bonds and improve overall relationship satisfaction. Cooking can be an act of love and care, demonstrating attentiveness and a desire to nurture, which the partner can positively receive. A 2021 study revealed that sharing a meal can enhance social connection and create positive memories.
5. Learn about her
It baffles me how often I see couples who might as well be strangers. I think this is a symptom of the society we’re living in, where we are so focused on ourselves and our notifications, that we end up forgetting what it means to really absorb the essence of another human being.
What are her love languages? How does she like her steak cooked? What’s her favorite flavor of gum? Does she like her bagel to be burnt just the right amount? If you don’t know these things, why not?
6. Be consistent
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I cannot tell you how many times I have heard from women that they just don’t know what to expect from the guy they’re “dating.” He’s broken up with her multiple times. He doesn’t come through when he needs her. He isn’t there to support her when times get rough.
Guys, I don’t know what to say about this. It disappoints me, and honestly, it just breaks my heart.
It’s sad to think that people can disregard the feelings of someone they are supposed to care for. Please, if you are going to commit to someone (and she’s going to commit to you), then be consistent. If you can’t give her that, just stay single.
This consistency fosters trust, security, and a sense of predictability, leading to stronger emotional bonds and reduced stress. One study on creating good relationships found that a partner who consistently demonstrates dependability and reliability builds a foundation of trust and security, which is crucial for a happy and lasting relationship.
7. Communicate
Men are absolutely notorious for being poor communicators, but that isn’t how it has to be. I am noticing a shift in men where we are becoming more open and able to communicate more effectively. Maybe it’s because we feel more accepted for having emotions these days (I’m not saying to cry every time a Hallmark commercial comes on), or because we are evolving as a species.
But one thing remains certain: Communication is the backbone of any successful relationship and it's one of the things men should do in relationships more often. Women appreciate it when you are open and honest with them.
They are not mind-readers any more than you are, so trying to figure out what you’re thinking when you’re staring at the ceiling is just going to create more problems for both of you. Nobody (man or woman) will know how to be better for you in your relationship if you don’t communicate it to them.
8. Date her
I got news for you: Romance and courtship don’t stop when you commit to someone. That’s when it begins. You’ve now committed to building a relationship with someone. You are a team. You are in this together. This is where the fun begins, not where it ends.
Becoming "exclusive" is not the finish line that signifies you can just pull off the throttle and start coasting. No, my friend, we must consciously make an effort every single day to keep putting effort in for the woman in our lives.
To show her how important she is to us. To show her we are willing to be there for her no matter what. To show her that we are serious about building a life with her. If you can’t do that, allow her the freedom to find someone who can.
9. Appreciate her
When was the last time you showed the woman in your life how much you truly appreciate her? Not just something she did, or something she accomplished, but who she is as a living, breathing human being?
When was the last time you showed her how much you appreciate how genuine, kind, or caring she is? How she adds a ray of sun to the world? How she makes you feel renewed, energized, and excited about life in a way you never have been before?
When was the last time you made her feel as though she is the only woman you’ve ever cared about? The only one you can see — that none of her efforts are taken for granted?
Never let the woman in your life forget how much she means to you. When you enter into a relationship, as far as I’m concerned, this is an unspoken promise you are making every day.
Nothing here is magic or unreasonable. Nothing here requires superpowers. Nothing here requires you to quit your job or dedicate your entire life to a new path. Everything here just takes one small thing we can all give to someone: Effort.
James Michael Sama is an internationally recognized speaker, author, and personal development coach. He has become a go-to expert with outlets such as CNN, Bravo, The New York Post, The Huffington Post, The Daily Beast, CNBC, The Boston Globe, CBS, and more.
